I can see you have already gotten a lot of good advice, but I'm still going to share my story For a man, getting a child is boring as fuck the first half a year. That's just how it's. Most mom's essentially gets a head start on bonding with the kid by being pregnant. And its super normal not feeling anything, it just takes time. Just do your best getting as much skin-to-skin contact, I think it helps with the bonding. And its super important for the child, so win-win. If you do it mostly while they're sleeping, you can watch tv, look at your phone. And if you have one of those gaming chairs that recline all the way back, you can even play computer if you're into that. Then we wanted another kid, and after like half a year my wife got pregnant again, and we're where super glad. But I think a couple of months before the kid came out, I got postpartum depression. And I fucking hated my own kid, I could not stand her. And wanted nothing to do with her. I half remember not wanting anything to do with the baby, but honestly everything is a haze from that period. In the end, I think after half a year, my wife gave me a ultimatum, either I seek professional help or we breakup and I leave for good. And that was the kicker for me half realising I needed help. Lucky at the time, I was 24 years old. And therapy is free when you're under 25, as we had no money. I think I went to therapy for a couple of months, and luckily I was slowly getting better. Now it's about 3 years later, I don't have an inch of depression anymore, and I love my kids more than anything. Last month we just got our third kid, a now it's way easier bonding with her, because I already know what it entails. But it's still true, it's boring as fuck, she just lays there, and don't do much of anything. But every month something new happens, and it's gets just a little better. My other kids are now 3 and 5, and they're the most fun I have ever had with them. I pretend to be s monster and I chase them around, and they running and screaming for their life, while laughing their ass of! it's honestly one of the best feeling and I love it. But I won't pretend everything is good. We still have to raise them, and it's still hard work everyday! And a lot of time, it's not fun getting angry at your kids, because they straight up just don't listen to you. All I wanted to say, at first, it just seems like ekstra work and it's! But over the next couple years, when they start becoming an actual human, and you can start playing with them. That's when all the work starts paying off. And Luckily time goes fast when you get kids, almost too fast. And now my oldest is starting school next year, and I already feel like I'm not ready for her to grow up that much! It will definitely get better, it just takes time, and everything you're feeling, is valid and normal. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! And please just ask if you would like to know anything, or want me to elaborate, if I have explained something badly. I wrote everything on mobile, so sry for formatting or spelling mistakes.

Unfortunately my ex couldn’t breastfeed. It was just too painful for her. So she would pump and/or we would use formula. I would give her breaks by putting the kids to bed so she could have time to herself to decompress. Every night I would fall asleep with them in my arms. Best freaking memories I have are sleeping with my kids when they were young.

Good thinking. That sounds like the perfect setup.

Is this a specifically US problem? As a Dutchman I can attest to the fact that kids are biking just as much now than they were during my own childhood, probably even more (and much more safely).

I wouldn't mind if they made the days/week shorter, in favor of having a longer school year. While understanding schools would need proper, working AC in their buildings, the disruption of summer is real, especially for students with extra needs.

Nice sentence from a 3yo

I read How to Raise Children Who Aren’t Assholes by her. It was a decent read. I’ll probably pick this up but I feel like so many books just regurgitate the same info

you know what your kids going to tell you a decade from now? Yeah I kinda do. It's true that I won't know what problems they're encountering or friendships they're navigating, but they're only going to "ask" me to do reasonable things within appropriate boundaries. They might say they're embarrassed if I'm around while they're entertaining their friends, but they're not going to tell me to go hide in my room because that's not something children expect of their parents. To put it plainly, I intend to set and maintain boundaries.

Do you hate discussion? Maybe try engaging with them instead of accusing them of biting your joke you copied from a decades old comic.

At this stage, truly and seriously be glad and grateful for those long sleeps and naps. I had a ton of trouble with milk, and my baby had absolutely no interest in latching, so we did bottles supplemented with formula from day 1. There's a perk to using the bottle, in that you, the non-nursing partner get that good 1 on 1 feeding time too. Mama can sleep and pump on her schedule, not baby's. Consider it a blessing. If kiddo is feeding and gaining weight, you're doing it right. As others said, fed is best. For the first four months babies are basically Sims with four "needs" bars. They cry if they're hungry, need to burp or their tummy is upset, if they're lonely or if they're dirty. They make pretty distinct faces and signals you can follow to see what they need, and you'll get to know your kid and what those signals look like. As far as having a smart kiddo, I recommend you try teaching them simple sign language. We started teaching our kid signs for things when he was about 5 months old, like "more", "hungry", "thirsty" etc and he picked up on it and started using his own signs and sounds to communicate with us when he was about 8-10 months old. It was invaluable to be able to understand and communicate with him and helped us bond and build trust very early. There's a lot of guff and hot air about how to make your baby smarter, but one thing that's been consistently proven to give positive results is reading to them. Read to them from day 1 whenever you have the opportunity. Its good bonding time and they learn so much from hearing an illustrated story. My kid and I used to play "find the x" style games with the pictures on the page and he showed me he knew what an armadillo was, or a combine harvester was before he was 2, because he could point to the appropriate pictures. I never dumbed down or lessen my vocabulary with him either, and he's proven that he's a sponge for words. Book recommendations: How to speak so children will listen, and how to listen so children will speak. Some parts are dated but there are some extremely valuable tips and ideas in there too Precious Little Sleep, Zubief, it's a very relatable read for helping sleep train your baby when you get to that point.

Yeah fuck cocomelon. This is apparent immediately

Unfair do downvote you. I'm reading about people who get up at 7 to get their kids ready and then be in office at 9. That's much better than my job actually. I don't want to say that it wouldn't be even worse with kids, but still have to be at work at 7, so need to be a morning person.

I'm lucky that chicken and mashed potatoes are some of my kid's favorite foods, so he adapted pretty well to Thanksgiving dinner XD

Open the door fully and tighten the strap across the opening.

Thank you for all the comments, I’m taking quite a few of your ideas and we’ll see what works for us.

Thats how I was too. I cant sleep anywhere but a bed, but when my son was nursing? I fell asleep anywhere, a chair, the car, on a blanket in the park. If that baby was sleeping, I was too, as much as I could anyway, but sometimes it wasn't up to me! I'd just fall asleep standing haha

There's really no need for a specialized app. My partner and I would just message each other with "pee" or "poop" for diaper changes and the quantity of milk when feeding. Messages are automatically time-stamped.

The leather school shoes are one of the current cycle. The ones with the sole wrapping over the toes seem to be the best so far. She still manages to mangle them however. They are also no good for PE or other uses. I'll look into shoegoo however. I suspect skaters put similar wear and tear on their shoes.

We have never bought new couches. My main chair is older than I am. But I did sit in a chair in a shop the other day and the back was right up behind my head, a surprisingly hard thing to find for someone tall-ish like me. Almost made me want to buy it. I hate visiting other people because they have short backed couches that just aren't person-shaped. Makes me wonder how they sit there for hours.

Sorting toys is a mug's game, especially when there are a lot. Makes sense for some things that go together like LEGO, but how do you even decide how the rest goes together. Size? Material? Whether they get invited to the tea party? Randomly in boxes seems fine to me. One piece of advice is if you have someone who gives large toys even after being asked not to, you are certainly within your rights to ask that the toy stay at their house.