They even got their own island🤦
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Some girl when I was in middle school, 14ish, used to get picked up by some tatted up 20 something, pretty sure he was at least 25 but no idea. We thought he was like an uncle or something. Nope, turns out he was her boyfriend. Pretty sure that guy went to prison for meth related activities.
Pretty sure that guy went to prison for math related activities.
I need to sleep
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- Bullshit, and
- I'm not hearing how I'm wrong.
re: 2. You're wrong.
There, checked that box.
It's pretty convenient for me that you only offered a one-line assertion, so I could reply with a one-line assertion!
This is one of those subjects where you can write an essay in reply or throw out simple phrases that might highlight some profound thing to those who are already on the other side of the issue from you.
And I'm sitting here with my family wanting to play a game with me, been with my wife for 25 years, so let me take a shot at very broadly and generally logic-ing my train of thought to love being a "real" thing and worthwhile:
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I am naturally a recluse computer nerd personality who doesn't talk to anybody. Yeah I'm married but I have never personally asked a girl out, nor have any ever asked me out. Very lucky to have had her randomly find me on freaking ICQ of all things, and obviously our chats went well enough to meet up.
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I'm married, and it's a whole social and legal construct, but I'm not talking about any of that stuff here. This is about the effect of relationships on the human psyche.
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Nothing is "real." I look at the universe through what I think of as a "positive nihilism" lens. Things like meaning, purpose, love, justice, and others are constructs of our conscious minds, not features of the physical world (and yeah technically they kind of are part of the physical world because our brains are, but I think you get my meaning). The upside is that this can be a very freeing feeling. It is OK to figure out what you really care about and pursue that. But the downside is that you can very easily and very significantly limit your own life experiences due to nothing more than your own perceptions.
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Humans are a very social species. Belonging to families and tribes is programmed deep within us, even if we reject it (see my #1) or are ignorant of it and let it drive negative behavior (see political parties, sports teams, racism, etc).
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Lust is not bad. Let's not be puritans. I don't lust after everybody I love (eww) but I lust after my wife all the time and it's awesome fun.
5a. Speaking of #5 there, an important underlying thing to remember is that you have to allow yourself to enjoy life and have fun. And yeah, it sounds like an empty platitude of a saying. "That's what I'm trying to do every hour of every day" I hear my old self saying. Yeah but there are a lot of self-imposed limitations and assumptions that we don't even realize we're putting on ourselves. I mean, I'm a white male USian on Lemmy. I am keenly aware of how fucked up things are all over the place despite my locale not changing at all. Oh and I was raised by angry conservative Catholics. And those things only cover the guilt-based aspects of what you're supposed to do. I think having a kid helps me keep myself balanced here. It would be evil and irresponsible to ignore the plight of other people, but it would also be pretty wrong and irresponsible to make my 8 year old's world miserable just because they were born onto the same fucked up planet the rest of us were.
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The goal here is to improve the life experience of myself and those around me. There isn't some ideal state where we have officially reached "love" status.
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To have the best effect on our psyches, our life experiences need to engage our senses and affect our environment. So I am talking about sharing the same physical space with loved ones and not just texting constantly or being super active on Facebook or whatever site. And I am not being an old luddite that thinks it should be this way (see #1). Digital communication is awesome, but generally the person to person connection is better as you involve more senses. Think of text -> call -> video call -> in-person visit, whether it's to figure out something for work or to learn about the new baby in the family.
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Love isn't just an emotion. It usually means having affection for the person, sure, but it is also a level of respect and a level of commitment to that person or people. And it is certainly not always selfless, but it can be. And there are degrees. There are plenty of friends' children that we love and would do all kinds of stuff for. And we often do, and don't ask for anything in return. And you might think this sounds like we could let friends take advantage of us. And to that I would say, that is an approach that puts negativity and greed foremost in your mind. What usually happens is that we go into the situation in a positive and generous way, and the psychological benefit that WE get is far greater than whatever time or money we spent.
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Our bodies run on feedback loops! It seems fairly ubiquitous that for so many of our daily actions, our body directs resources to get better at the things we do more of, and worse at the things we do less of. This goes for way more than physical strength. So it might sound stupid, but making the conscious decision "I am going to be better at loving X person, and better at loving and taking care of myself" and start letting that mindset drive your little decisions in one direction rather than the other, it can add up in small ways and start to snowball. So this is where the annoying circular sayings like "to be happy you must choose to be happy" start to make sense once you see it in action.
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So yeah, that has got to be enough typing for now. Loving somebody doesn't mean they are perfect and that I never have a problem with them. And loving them unconditionally does not mean that I never try to get them to change their ways or improve something. It's like the old saying "you get out what you put in."
Disclaimer: If you need medication to keep some issue(s) under control, this advice is not meant as a magical "you can do it buddy" alternative to that. I am still on my medications for depression/anxiety and ADHD. So, loving others well is something I choose to do because it is best for me and those around me. However, it is a WHOLE LOT harder to act like I want to act when I am in pain and half asleep all the time.
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I remember how creepy it was to see that once the girls in my class got boobs (around 8th grade, 13-14 yo) full on adults would start hitting on them. I recall seeing a few class mates in a local park, all 3 were 13 I think, they still looked like little girls, it's just that now they had boobs and wore bras. So I see these 3 girls, each sitting in the lap of an 18-20 yo dude, and making out...
As a kid I recall seeing it and thinking "wtf is wrong with those guys?"
If "he's got a car and he's dead mature, like" is your main selling point, you need a better selling point. And to not be a fucking nonce.
In the 90s we didn't even know what a paedophile was. I don't recall even seeing that word before Sarah Payne was murdered.
It took a while for UK residents to get used to this new exciting word.
Hopefully today's kids are a bit more aware...
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Gross. Accurate. Took me way too long to understand why my friend’s dad was acting the way he was around 13-17. Decades later and it still sickens me.
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I remember how creepy it was to see that once the girls in my class got boobs (around 8th grade, 13-14 yo) full on adults would start hitting on them. I recall seeing a few class mates in a local park, all 3 were 13 I think, they still looked like little girls, it's just that now they had boobs and wore bras. So I see these 3 girls, each sitting in the lap of an 18-20 yo dude, and making out...
As a kid I recall seeing it and thinking "wtf is wrong with those guys?"
I live in a country where the age of consent is 14, and this shit is still pretty common. I voted Fidesz because I thought they'd fix the situation, by rising it. They added a close-in-age exception, so if you're 17, you can prey on 12 year olds.
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What an idiot.
Has he put himself on the poor house yet by spending all of his money to appease the young women he wanted a booty call from?
Because that kind of behavior seems to be rather expensive.
No idea. He gave 5k to one before he kicked me out. What was our house is for sale now though.
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16 is the Age of Consent in most places, that doesn't make it right, but I can only guess the district thought "Well if it's legal..." without thinking if it was appropiate.
That’s not how age of consent works you uninformed denizen softening the ground for pedos.
Educate first, then loud blab on the internet.
Your reference is your own comment? Shouldn't somewhere down the chain there be a link explaining this? It would be nice for you to be right, but I don't think you are.
If it were only about activities with other shouldn't be of age people, then it makes no sense. Either they are allowed and it's legal or it's illegal for both of them but neither can be considered criminally responsible because neither can legally consent either.
There are stories constantly about someone older having relations with someone way too young but the jurisdiction has age of consent to make it ok.
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Pretty sure that guy went to prison for math related activities.
I need to sleep
He calculated the odds, but boy he was bad at math.
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Your reference is your own comment? Shouldn't somewhere down the chain there be a link explaining this? It would be nice for you to be right, but I don't think you are.
If it were only about activities with other shouldn't be of age people, then it makes no sense. Either they are allowed and it's legal or it's illegal for both of them but neither can be considered criminally responsible because neither can legally consent either.
There are stories constantly about someone older having relations with someone way too young but the jurisdiction has age of consent to make it ok.
wrote last edited by [email protected]My god, this place is overrun by petulant children who can’t do their own research and are criminally unaware of the laws surrounding this.
You want a link, here’s a link
also this
TLDR; it is immensely complex, varies country by country, but as a general rule of thumb, having sex with a minor whilst you yourself not being a minor will almost everywhere land you in trouble. As it should. ^applies to regular joe without powerful friends in powerful places only.^
Topic highly unsuited for one line response mediums like this new reddit.
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“My momma cleaned hunter’s cabins and those hunters were real nice men if you know what I mean.”
I'm a bit dense. They were "nice" to each other, or "nice" to him, or they were actually nice looking, or...?
They would have sex with him.
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My god, this place is overrun by petulant children who can’t do their own research and are criminally unaware of the laws surrounding this.
You want a link, here’s a link
also this
TLDR; it is immensely complex, varies country by country, but as a general rule of thumb, having sex with a minor whilst you yourself not being a minor will almost everywhere land you in trouble. As it should. ^applies to regular joe without powerful friends in powerful places only.^
Topic highly unsuited for one line response mediums like this new reddit.
wrote last edited by [email protected]For example, the age of consent in the US state of Delaware is 18, but it is allowed for teenagers aged 16 and 17 to engage in sexual intercourse as long as the older partner is younger than 30
16 and 17 is still under the age of consent, but they have a special exception for partners under 30. So the age of consent is still exactly what people think it is
Circumstances of the relationship
Generally it still looks like for those jurisdictions the age of consent is pretty much what people think it is, however the bar for consent is much higher. The Pennsylvania example is closest to what you describe, but seems to be that they basically prosecute for some other crime because age of consent is low enough but they have other laws. Guessing it's rooted in some provisions for young marriage but still able to prosecute premarital sex as corrupted morals.
In short to all these jurisdictions, just raise the damn age of consent instead of having all sorts of weird loopholes that make it sometimes ok for a 45 year old to get with a 14 year old.
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They would have sex with him.
Ah okay -- as in, he seemed to like it(?) but he was also way too young for it to have been having it
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Fucking great band.
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My god, this place is overrun by petulant children who can’t do their own research and are criminally unaware of the laws surrounding this.
You want a link, here’s a link
also this
TLDR; it is immensely complex, varies country by country, but as a general rule of thumb, having sex with a minor whilst you yourself not being a minor will almost everywhere land you in trouble. As it should. ^applies to regular joe without powerful friends in powerful places only.^
Topic highly unsuited for one line response mediums like this new reddit.
Why do you start every comment with an insult? Their question was reasonable and they didn't treat you the same. That really doesn't make you sound as smart as you think it does, especially when you're referencing yourself in your original comment, and the comment of your own that you referenced doesn't actually clarify anything, it's just another example of you insulting somebody and telling them that they're wrong.
Besides, age of consent laws differ in how they work based on what country you are in, and not everyone is from your country. You're expecting people to know shit they're not reasonably expected to know, and you're mad at them about it and being a child about it.
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If "he's got a car and he's dead mature, like" is your main selling point, you need a better selling point. And to not be a fucking nonce.
In the 90s we didn't even know what a paedophile was. I don't recall even seeing that word before Sarah Payne was murdered.
It took a while for UK residents to get used to this new exciting word.
Hopefully today's kids are a bit more aware...
Oh wow that article's a blast from the past
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I live in a country where the age of consent is 14, and this shit is still pretty common. I voted Fidesz because I thought they'd fix the situation, by rising it. They added a close-in-age exception, so if you're 17, you can prey on 12 year olds.
I hope that's the last time you vote Fidesz
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My wife's sister dated a guy in his 30s when she was 19.
So much trauma for a decade.
I was groomed by a guy in his 40s when I was 16 to 18. He was also suspected to have sexually abused younger kids. I've been in a relationship with my current partner who's my age for over a decade now. The abuser knew very well how to take advantage of vulnerable girls. And yes. That trauma will stay with me. I still have nightmares. For the first year with my partner I would frequently wake up from these nightmares and be so relieved to be next to my partner to comfort me. I found out very recently that the asshole is still out and about, but got cancer, so there's some karma there.
I'm sure that if I had better friends and wasn't so lonely and had a better situation at home I wouldn't have fallen for this. These abuser really know how to pick their victims.
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I hope that's the last time you vote Fidesz
Yeah, it was 2010. My most regretted action.
The day that change was announced, I was so angry, I shaked and looked like that veiny guy in the meme, also didn't sleep a single minute that night.
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Pretty sure that guy went to prison for math related activities.
I need to sleep
So did the meth guy, but for different reasons
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In school, when I was 13, one of my friends was "dating" a 19 year old. I vividly remember how cool we all thought this was. Reflecting on it makes me feel sick.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Back when I was 13 I was jealous because the "worldly" older guys got the girls ...but the time I was that worldly age, I couldn't believe how gross the guys looking at young teens were.
Now I'm old and everyone under 30 looks way too young.....as it should.
