Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Programmer Humor
  3. choas

choas

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Programmer Humor
programmerhumor
139 Posts 84 Posters 1 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

    This comic is so old, that both should be rather easy now

    U This user is from outside of this forum
    U This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #50

    It took almost exactly 5 years from publication for that to be commonplace.

    1 Reply Last reply
    7
    • J [email protected]

      I don't know the "right" answer, but I set it so if you hit something, it plays out some checks similar to as you described:

      • If we collide with something but its only waist high, then we will have the player stop the grapple and attempt to vault over whatever it is.

      • If we collide with something and its more than waist high, then we wait for a very small delay and see if we made any progress towards our destination. If not, end the grapple because something is in the way.

      • Ignore all collision damage otherwise when grappling. Either we get stopped on the way and give up, or make it and then end the grapple.

      ... And last but most horrible of all:

      • Do a completely different set of checks if the player is underwater when the collision happens.

      All my games are janky though so I don't think this is some ideal setup.

      Edit: Cleaned up the collision damage part as I thought I handled it differently.

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
      #51

      Yep, those first 3 are either exactly or almost exactly what I ended up with when I toyed around with making something similar, haha.

      Honestly, I think what you are describing as 'janky workarounds'... are actually how you do this right, they are 'efficiently implemented game mechanics'.

      Maybe the code could be cleaned up and de-spaghettified a bit, but I've seen many other systems like this in many games and mods.

      If it seems stupid, but it works... it isn't stupid.

      The word for that is actually 'clever'.

      ... you'd be amazed how much enterprise level business software, for instance, relies on some weird ancient library or function that literally has a comment in the code that says "I do not know why this works, but it does, DO NOT CHANGE".

      .....

      But also: oh god WATER.

      Fuck video game water rofl.

      I feel your pain.

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • K [email protected]

        Can't you just swap x for -x. Run some unit tests just in case. We'll push to prod next Wednesday. Sound good? Got to dash, strategy meeting started 5 minutes ago. Seeyoubye.

        B This user is from outside of this forum
        B This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #52

        As a programmer, I've learned to cringe at any suggestion from someone that starts with "can't you just". Cause I guarantee you, I can't "just" do that. It's way more complicated than just.

        K 1 Reply Last reply
        7
        • deceptichum@quokk.auD [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          L This user is from outside of this forum
          L This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
          #53

          Way back in the 90s I did a contract job at MS Research on a project called "V-Worlds" - a world simulator similar to the Doom or Quake engine, but it was browser-based and everything was a script, so changing how the world worked didn't mean you had to restart a server, just change the scripts and new stuff would appear right in front of you.

          Anyway the concept of adding accessories to the player's avatar and even having a pet follow you around came up, and I remember there was an involved discussion of how difficult/impossible that would be. The player's avatar was a special object class that represented a user, and didn't have the same capabilities as ordinary objects in the world. I remember asking, "Why isn't the avatar just a world object the player happens to control? Then you could do all kinds of cool stuff like let the player transform into something else just by switching objects, or let another player run your character." Dead silence. I was just a contractor, what did I know?

          C M 2 Replies Last reply
          44
          • S [email protected]

            As a gameplay programmer, I got anxiety from reading this (and I think the animators are already in a fetal position on the floor)

            M This user is from outside of this forum
            M This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #54

            Would it be possible to just mirror what the player is seeing so literally everything is backwards? Like a visual effect 'in-post'? Obviously that would mess with any printed text but other than I cant think of big issue?

            cyberic@discuss.tchncs.deC S J 3 Replies Last reply
            2
            • deceptichum@quokk.auD [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              rebekahwsd@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
              rebekahwsd@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #55

              I want dresses, and I don't care if they clip through literally everything!

              P 1 Reply Last reply
              14
              • R [email protected]

                I didn’t say they were very good web devs.

                Y This user is from outside of this forum
                Y This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #56

                It doesn't really matter how good of a web dev you are, you really shouldn't be changing any part of someone else's website... They tend to do things like call the police on you for "hacking" and other such frivolities /s

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • anunusualrelic@lemmy.worldA [email protected]

                  Ok, but all your dialogue will be spoken backwards.

                  H This user is from outside of this forum
                  H This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #57

                  That makes sense. All left handed people are witches anyways, they'll feel right at home

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  2
                  • anunusualrelic@lemmy.worldA [email protected]

                    Ok, but all your dialogue will be spoken backwards.

                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #58

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • M [email protected]

                      Would it be possible to just mirror what the player is seeing so literally everything is backwards? Like a visual effect 'in-post'? Obviously that would mess with any printed text but other than I cant think of big issue?

                      cyberic@discuss.tchncs.deC This user is from outside of this forum
                      cyberic@discuss.tchncs.deC This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #59

                      The Zelda tactic

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M [email protected]

                        Would it be possible to just mirror what the player is seeing so literally everything is backwards? Like a visual effect 'in-post'? Obviously that would mess with any printed text but other than I cant think of big issue?

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #60

                        You could even do that on the player's model specifically. But it's still a maybe, you're almost guaranteed to get some cursed bugs due to every preexisting code having been made with right handedness in mind.

                        I'm sure animators are internally screaming at the reasons why this will make some originally right handed animations look off but that's not my area of expertise.

                        In reality it's probably not the hardest thing to do gameplay-wise, especially if you're doing it from the very beginning of the project, but I don't think you can simply mirror animations (and some animations-related logic) and have it look natural, so you'd have to make dedicated animations and possibly logic for left hand strikes, right hand blocks etc. which would obviously be much more expensive. But yeah that's probably what Minecraft does now for example, and since they have a very low level of detail on player characters and their animations it looks alright.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        3
                        • deceptichum@quokk.auD [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                          kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #61

                          "I noticed the elves in level 3 look too similar to the dwarves in level 5."

                          "It's too late to change it now!"

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          7
                          • anunusualrelic@lemmy.worldA [email protected]

                            Ok, but all your dialogue will be spoken backwards.

                            K This user is from outside of this forum
                            K This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #62

                            Noted. I'll talk to Jeff in FX and get all the .wav files reversed. Shouldn't add too much to storage. I wonder if lip sync will be affected? I'll mention it to Sue when she gets back next week.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • B [email protected]

                              As a programmer, I've learned to cringe at any suggestion from someone that starts with "can't you just". Cause I guarantee you, I can't "just" do that. It's way more complicated than just.

                              K This user is from outside of this forum
                              K This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #63

                              😬 I am familiar with the PTSD trigger words.

                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              5
                              • M [email protected]

                                Would it be possible to just mirror what the player is seeing so literally everything is backwards? Like a visual effect 'in-post'? Obviously that would mess with any printed text but other than I cant think of big issue?

                                J This user is from outside of this forum
                                J This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #64

                                That’s basically what they did for Legend of Zelda:Twilight princess. GameCube version Link was left handed, Wii version he was right handed. Looking at game guide sites was kind of comical. They basically said we’re not rewriting our guide for Wii…just flip the directions. If the guide says go left…go right for Wii.

                                P 1 Reply Last reply
                                7
                                • F [email protected]

                                  The location that the player is visually interacting with would be different, but the world wouldn't know that. Eg. in a cutscene, the player reaches out and touches a button on a control panel. If the player's X is flipped, their left hand will be further left than their right hand, and will miss the button visually as they go to press it. Asymmetrical animations might also be fucked, ie. sidestep/jump right normally extends the left leg for leverage, but now their right leg would push off visually and they would still move right.

                                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #65

                                  I don't want you to come to me with problems. I want you to come with solutions. I'm going to schedule some action orientated soft skills training for you next month. There is a push to increase our education KPIs so budget is available.

                                  F C 2 Replies Last reply
                                  7
                                  • nokturne213@sopuli.xyzN [email protected]

                                    You can hold a two handed weapon favoring the left, or the right.

                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #66

                                    😵

                                    You’ll just hold it right at the center of your screen. You’ll not see anything, but it’ll work!

                                    nokturne213@sopuli.xyzN 1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • M [email protected]

                                      Now we need to decide in the case of collisions if:

                                      • Doors violently push anyone out of the way, possibly "crushing" them into walls or
                                      • Force themselves back closed, turning any random NPC / obstacle on the other side into an unbeatable lock or
                                      • Just trap an unfortunate NPC in a corner on the other side, or
                                      • If they use the physics system to swing open, in which case they'll look smooth but possibly bonk the player/actor going through them a few times and could potentially (and comically) insta-kill them if physics is feeling grumpy.

                                      The frustratingly comedic unintended results of any choice makes for great organic marketing though.

                                      Gamedev is magical.

                                      Aside: Know what did this really well though? Resident Evil games after RE:4.

                                      The ability to "slowly quietly open", and then at any time decide to violently action-hero kick it open to send a zombie on the other side flying, was genius.

                                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #67

                                      PM: You know real world?

                                      Make it like that

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      5
                                      • M [email protected]

                                        Now we need to decide in the case of collisions if:

                                        • Doors violently push anyone out of the way, possibly "crushing" them into walls or
                                        • Force themselves back closed, turning any random NPC / obstacle on the other side into an unbeatable lock or
                                        • Just trap an unfortunate NPC in a corner on the other side, or
                                        • If they use the physics system to swing open, in which case they'll look smooth but possibly bonk the player/actor going through them a few times and could potentially (and comically) insta-kill them if physics is feeling grumpy.

                                        The frustratingly comedic unintended results of any choice makes for great organic marketing though.

                                        Gamedev is magical.

                                        Aside: Know what did this really well though? Resident Evil games after RE:4.

                                        The ability to "slowly quietly open", and then at any time decide to violently action-hero kick it open to send a zombie on the other side flying, was genius.

                                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #68

                                        Have you ever played ATV Offroad Fury on the PS2? When you reached the edge of the map, it would just fling you back towards the center.

                                        I propose that is how we deal with NPCs blocking doors. With negated fall damage, of course

                                        C M 2 Replies Last reply
                                        3
                                        • F [email protected]

                                          😵

                                          You’ll just hold it right at the center of your screen. You’ll not see anything, but it’ll work!

                                          nokturne213@sopuli.xyzN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          nokturne213@sopuli.xyzN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #69

                                          You’ll just hold it right left at the center

                                          FTFY

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          4
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups