Yes, this is what people did back then
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Buy a cellphone. We already had them in the late 80's.
Who am I, Parker Lewis?
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Masturbate, back to sleep.
This is the correct answer.
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First thing? Honestly, probably curl into the fetal position and start bawling for a while as I fully relax for the first time since circa 2007.
wrote last edited by [email protected]P.S. it's April 19th and you're currently relaxing in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. Enjoy your well-earned R&R!
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1995? Springer and the price is right in the morning (Bob Barker baby!) then Aladdin, Batman/Superman, Animaniacs and the Simpsons in the afternoon.
In-between all that we get 90s commercials!
Please tell me it's Friday, because that means the evening is Family Matters or Sliders, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, and Hangin' With Mr. Cooper.
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1995...
I was 10 years old and in the 5th grade.
And I remember everything, huh? Hoo boy. Hoooo boyyyyy.
First thing I do is write this list while it's still fresh in my mind:
- ADHD is real and it will ruin my potential if I don't face it head on. The medication won't work on me yet, though, so tell Mom and Dad I NEED to get back on medication when my brain is more developed in a couple years.
- Also, for future reference: it isn't actually a deficit of ATTENTION at all--it's really stupidly named by neurotypicals who don't fucking get it--it's TIME BLINDNESS and a deficit of IMPULSE CONTROL and EXECUTIVE FUNCTION.
- Sugar is going to make me extremely sick and all my weight and fitness issues come directly from carbohydrate overdose. STOP drinking soda, and avoid refined/homogenized starch!
- I'm about to enter the most painful and traumatizing stage of my formative years. The middle school I'll be attending starting 6th grade will be hell on earth. I need to keep my FUCKING mouth shut and not talk to ANYONE unless they talk to me. I also need to practice the skill of mindful dissociation and compartmentalization. Stoicism will be my only shelter.
- Yes the adults around me are morons and don't know what they're talking about, but broken clocks can be right twice a day. In this case, they're correct about homework and studying being important for the wrong reasons: It is NOT about satisfying the expectations of teachers, but rather it is entirely for practicing the skill of internalizing and recalling information. I will not regret time I spend on it.
- Mom and Dad are struggling financially right now. Dad's racking up debt while Mom is the only reliable source of income. That's why they would "hold onto" my birthday and xmas money "for safekeeping". it is neither kept nor safe; it's gone. All of it. HIDE ANY MONEY I RECEIVE... and tell grandpa to buy stock in Apple.
- Express early interest in nuclear energy and pursue it with everything I've got. Approach via Mechanical Engineering. I'll enjoy Computer Aided Drafting in High School.
- Remember the major incidents to come: Columbine and zero tolerance policy in 1999, also dotcom bubble crash, Al Gore will lose in 2000, WTC will be destroyed by a terrorist attack 2001-09-11, Bush Jr administration will cause the housing market to crash as well by 2008, America succumbs to Fascism in 2016, and there will be a global plague in 2020.
- I'm a furry and I am not actually a boy despite being assigned male at birth. Embrace androgyny. Get online. Find my tribe. Draw a lot.
Middle school CANNOT be THAT traumatizing
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Boot up my dad's computer and play some shareware off the magazine cover disk I got months ago.
Or go to the library I guess.
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Boot up my dad's computer and play some shareware off the magazine cover disk I got months ago.
Or go to the library I guess.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I was probably playing Cannon Fodder at that time on our computer.
d: cd games cd cannon (space)(space)(F3) -
and I can still play the guitar like a mother fuckin riot.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Life is too short so love the one you got cause you might die of overdose on your wedding night after signing that big contract like a big fucking dumbass
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Play video games, that is of course if I am my current age, because I was -1 years old in 1995.
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Plug in the coax cable and forget the terminator.
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Buy Apple stock.
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Go to all the live gigs, then invest. Probably steal PayPal.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Buy out Elons worthless PayPal shares with 50 million in valuable pets.com and webvan shares. They can only go up in 2000!
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Masturbate, back to sleep.
I don't need to travel back in time to do that.
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Everyone had mobiles in 1995, they were like $300
The Australian mobile network started in 1982The Australian mobile network was CB radio until 2015.
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OOOH Look at Mister FANCY PANTS with his dial up internet. You must be rich, Mister Fancy Pants.
I think I had AOL at the time...
AOL was dial-up.
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I'd go to the mall to flirt with goth latina babes. Malls were actually popular back then right?
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Open tv’s teletext page 245 (now 235) to see latest NHL results from last night.
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Use my current knowledge of memory-safe system languages to invent D before Walter Bright, but without the garbage collection.
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Dial into my local BBS and play some door games.
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Register google dot com
Not even buying Apple will net you any short term money.
Better to bet on the superbowl (or whatever sports knowledge you possess).
