The great millennial garbage gyre
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Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership
Like, that's definitely coffee-house sex philosophy truthiness. But it ignores the desire for someone(s) to come home to and rely on. A relationship is more than just getting off. And monogamy (or committed poly, if that's your vibe) is about building a friendship with the loved one and a community with their social circle.
You don't own your partner any more than you own your parents or your siblings or your closest friends. You just want to be near them regularly, because you love them. And when there's only so many hours in the day, you dedicate yourself to these people because you want a relationship that's deep rather than a series of flings that can only ever be shallow.
Yeah it's not about "ownership", it's a partnership. You can't rely on someone that's also trying to maintain romantic relationships with other people as well.
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America is a different universe lmao. Most people aren't even married once in their late 20s in Denmark.
Statistically neither are people in the US. However most by that age have been in long term relationships.
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America is a different universe lmao. Most people aren't even married once in their late 20s in Denmark.
Yeah, when some friends started getting married in our 30s I thought they were being impulsive. We're a bit young to be getting married aren't we?
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A lot of women use the phrase “all the good ones are taken” but the reverse can also be true as well. Where all the good women are also taken. So most dating apps are full of the people who can’t keep a relationship, cheat, aren’t investing into something, or are the “leftovers.” I have a ton of female friend and what I saw on the dating apps when we were 25 was horrendous. As you get into your late 20s and early 30s you start seeing a lot of divorcees and single parents who then don’t have time and therefore don’t invest. Or do “invest” but now aren’t worth it because their kids should be more important.
I'm in my 30s and all the single women I know in my range are somewhere near the asexual end of the spectrum or have kids. There's nothing wrong with those things but those they would not work for me in a romantic relationship.
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Ok then I'll have zero sympathy for assholes, regardless of orientation. Like yourself.
I shared a personal observation about how limited my dating options are — something that’s demonstrably true for gay men — and your immediate response was hostility? I didn’t attack anyone, just offered a contrasting reality.
It’s telling when empathy is expected but not extended. If someone shares a different lived experience and your first response is name-calling rather than reflection, that reveals more about your approach to discourse than it does about mine.
We don’t need to agree, but some consistency between values and behavior would go a long way. Otherwise, your comment is just a performance of compassion, not a practice of it.
Have a day.
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It's quite illuminating, sometimes, to see how other people live. And to see how very different things look if you're taking a different person's perspective.
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When woman say, that men are poor quality commodities it's funny you see?
feminism! /s
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Dating is hard for everyone in one way or another, and, speaking as one, several ways for those who look pretty dead average but have trouble socializing and really only go between home and work. I don't even feel like I'm that picky; no cigarettes, no kids, yes empathy, and a complementary flavor of weird/neurodivergence.
Your weirdo will appear.
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Leave the house and find a hobby that women might also be into. Computers, cars? Mostly male dominated hobbies/women are afraid to actually go. Dance class? Now that's fun, good exercise, and forces you to interact with other people, and there's plenty of women there. Just make sure it's something you're at least kinda into. If you lie about your interest they're gonna know and dislike you.
The other day I went to a watch party for the show Love Island and not joking, it was > 10 women to 1 man. I think there was over 100 women in that tiny room (definitely a fire code violation). But as soon as I started talking to a group about the show they were all over it.
Ok fuckwit_mcbumcrumble
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
nooo! can't you see, as a male, that you want to be with a woman means you're sexist, because you're reducing the women to something that you want to be with for your own well-being. how selfish of you. men are the blight of society!
i'm so sick of today's "feminism" which plays women and men against each other, setting society up for a great divide, all to distract from actual issues such as social safety-nets, eroding wages and exploitative working conditions.
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Dating is hard for everyone in one way or another, and, speaking as one, several ways for those who look pretty dead average but have trouble socializing and really only go between home and work. I don't even feel like I'm that picky; no cigarettes, no kids, yes empathy, and a complementary flavor of weird/neurodivergence.
It’s hard for weirdos to find other weirdos because all weirdos have some level of social anxiety. Ask me how I know.
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Your weirdo will appear.
Sounds like the basis for a musical number.
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Leave the house and find a hobby that women might also be into. Computers, cars? Mostly male dominated hobbies/women are afraid to actually go. Dance class? Now that's fun, good exercise, and forces you to interact with other people, and there's plenty of women there. Just make sure it's something you're at least kinda into. If you lie about your interest they're gonna know and dislike you.
The other day I went to a watch party for the show Love Island and not joking, it was > 10 women to 1 man. I think there was over 100 women in that tiny room (definitely a fire code violation). But as soon as I started talking to a group about the show they were all over it.
This can backfire too though, since women assume any man coming to these events is just looking to hook up, so their guard is high. It's also kind of shitty to make all extracurricular activities into dating events imo. People should have a space away from that pressure.
Honestly for me the best way to meet single is to have married friends who can play matchmaker. Of course that requires you to have friends, which brings us back to square one.
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When woman say, that men are poor quality commodities it's funny you see?
This post is pointing out that few men want to date 'older' women while men of all ages want to date younger women.
It's wild how discussing age and gender inequality in dating is considered misandry.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Casting a wider net.
Some people just have to work harder in certain fields than others. You're skills may be in building, writing, gardening or something else but they're not in attracting a wide variety of matches and that's ok. I also suck at making dating profiles, don't photograph well and don't have the most interesting job.
I just need to put in more hours on Hinge and reach out to more people than a friend of mine who says he just opens the app and can get a date within the hour.
For context, if I'm actively looking I can usually swing one or two dates a month which is fine for my schedule as I work and have other things I'm doing in my free time. I'm also in my 30s so am matching with people who also have busy schedules which makes scheduling even harder.
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When woman say, that men are poor quality commodities it's funny you see?
I think you'll be okay -
It’s hard for weirdos to find other weirdos because all weirdos have some level of social anxiety. Ask me how I know.
Make a lemmy community for dating.
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This can backfire too though, since women assume any man coming to these events is just looking to hook up, so their guard is high. It's also kind of shitty to make all extracurricular activities into dating events imo. People should have a space away from that pressure.
Honestly for me the best way to meet single is to have married friends who can play matchmaker. Of course that requires you to have friends, which brings us back to square one.
When the ratio is that high, you can be certain there will also be women looking to hook up.
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I’ve given up entirely on relationships at this point. Anyone who is willing to date a trans guy is “poly” and I am absolutely done with that shit.
Hookups suck but it’s a distraction from how shit the world is.
I’ve given up entirely on relationships at this point
Perfect! You'll meet your person when you least expect it. There's a big day coming for you.
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This post is pointing out that few men want to date 'older' women while men of all ages want to date younger women.
It's wild how discussing age and gender inequality in dating is considered misandry.
I want to date older women.
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