Anyone else?
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My parents were autists, therefore I was abused.
My parents were narcissistic abusive assholes, therefore I was abused. (They were also autists, which may have altered the presentation of their abuse, but was not the root cause )I'm more than happy to say my parents abused me because they had a mental disorder, but they weren't diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, so I'm stuck using autism instead. I wish they had a more socially acceptable disorder to blame.
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is not made up, reading this Wikipedia entry parents would say "better safe than sorry"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_shock_response
Edit, add another more complete source
https://wpool.fr/en/blog/temperatures-eau-piscine/choc-thermique/qcq-hydrocution/That's for very cold water or very large temp difference. As a rule, if it's summer, splash some water on you first and go feet first, never head first.
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is not made up, reading this Wikipedia entry parents would say "better safe than sorry"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_shock_response
Edit, add another more complete source
https://wpool.fr/en/blog/temperatures-eau-piscine/choc-thermique/qcq-hydrocution/And what does that have to do with swimming after eating?
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I'm more than happy to say my parents abused me because they had a mental disorder, but they weren't diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, so I'm stuck using autism instead. I wish they had a more socially acceptable disorder to blame.
Ok.
My parents were autists, therefore I was abused. My parents were narcissisticabusive assholes, therefore I was abused. (They were also autists, which may have altered the presentation of their abuse, but was not the root cause) -
Well, no. I realized those things were silly. My mom told me and my sister we'd get skin cancer if we pinched each other. She just wanted us to shut the fuck up and so we did. You later learn these things aren't real and that's the end of it?
There's a major differencebetween something entirely made up that your parents know is bullshit and something that's false but your parents genuinely believe, because thr delivery will be very different. Especially if even the danger of the myth is exaggerated (I was always told it's a bit dangerous and to not do it but never that it's a huge risk of death).
Though also being lied to about some dangers would make me think that everything I've been warned about is false or greatly exaggerated, and I'm very grateful that despite being quite anxious about my safety, my mom never did that. But that might be an autism thing because reportedly if she explained why something was bad I'd get it and just not do it, even when I was very young.
I do partially blame my teenage depression-fueled 2ish years of barely every brushing my teeth, the consequences of which I'm still dealing with, on being told that even skipping one day is really bad and I will probably get cavities if I do that a few times. Cue me skipping it on some days because of mental health, realizing that even after months of occasionally doing that my teeth are still fine (including the dentist saying they're doing great and no issues), and subsequently no longer being able to find the motivation to do it at all since the consequences I was trying to avoid never materialized.
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Ok.
My parents were autists, therefore I was abused. My parents were narcissisticabusive assholes, therefore I was abused. (They were also autists, which may have altered the presentation of their abuse, but was not the root cause)So how come you think autism isn't okay to blame for abuse but narcissism is? And why should I listen to a hypocrite who can't decide whether disorders cause abuse?
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So how come you think autism isn't okay to blame for abuse but narcissism is? And why should I listen to a hypocrite who can't decide whether disorders cause abuse?
Because autistic traits aren’t abusive traits? If someone is autistic it doesn’t mean they will be abusive. They aren’t mutually exclusive, but they can overlap.
Whereas narcissistic traits are abusive traits, so a narcissist will almost definitely be abusive. But these aren’t mutually inclusive with each other, so someone can be abusive without being a narcissist.
I don’t know your parents or your situation; if you say they were abusive, I believe you. But if you say they were abusive because of their autism, that is just plainly false. You don’t have to blame it on some mental disorder, diagnosed or not. You can just say they were abusive.
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My wife has this, she's incapable of breaking rules.
Let's say her employer to do things a and then b, but then a coworker tells her it's better (in practice) to do it the other way around...she'll get an error and stop functioning at all.
I was told all these scary things about life and always had this: "i'll see it when i get there" attitude. So now i have to spend half my energy dragging my wife along otherwise she'll forget to live life.
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Because autistic traits aren’t abusive traits? If someone is autistic it doesn’t mean they will be abusive. They aren’t mutually exclusive, but they can overlap.
Whereas narcissistic traits are abusive traits, so a narcissist will almost definitely be abusive. But these aren’t mutually inclusive with each other, so someone can be abusive without being a narcissist.
I don’t know your parents or your situation; if you say they were abusive, I believe you. But if you say they were abusive because of their autism, that is just plainly false. You don’t have to blame it on some mental disorder, diagnosed or not. You can just say they were abusive.
ASD and NPD both involve a lack of empathy. They're exactly as abusive as each other.
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And what does that have to do with swimming after eating?
I added another source that relates alcohol and copious meal.
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That's for very cold water or very large temp difference. As a rule, if it's summer, splash some water on you first and go feet first, never head first.
It is about the difference of temperature, so, being under the sun for long time makes it more risky, even if the water is not so cold.
I added another link that maybe explains it better.
What you mention is also important, "entering water slowly..."
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My wife has this, she's incapable of breaking rules.
Let's say her employer to do things a and then b, but then a coworker tells her it's better (in practice) to do it the other way around...she'll get an error and stop functioning at all.
I was told all these scary things about life and always had this: "i'll see it when i get there" attitude. So now i have to spend half my energy dragging my wife along otherwise she'll forget to live life.
I 100% understand your wife. I'm not that bad, but it's a consequence of being told you have to be perfect or you failed growing up, at least for me. If something doesn't go right the first time I still get that mini freeze "error encountered on line 1 please reboot" that my parents unintentionally instilled in me.
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I added another source that relates alcohol and copious meal.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I'm not convinced that source isn't just spreading the urban myth. You're going to have to come with something with more weight behind it than the webpage of a seller of heatpumps. Here's another source saying it has nothing to do with eating: https://www.la-tour.ch/fr/conseils/se-baigner-apres-manger-faut-il-vraiment-attendre-3-heures
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ASD and NPD both involve a lack of empathy. They're exactly as abusive as each other.
Lol, ok.
Those are the DSM-5 entries for ASD and NPD. I see no mention of empathy in the ASD entry, but an explicit mention for NPD. Individuals with ASD might occasionally appear to have no empathy, but only because they have trouble with social norms, contexts, and cues.
I’ll note that the NPD criteria also includes “interpersonal exploitative behavior” which I would interpret as manipulative/abusive.
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Lol, ok.
Those are the DSM-5 entries for ASD and NPD. I see no mention of empathy in the ASD entry, but an explicit mention for NPD. Individuals with ASD might occasionally appear to have no empathy, but only because they have trouble with social norms, contexts, and cues.
I’ll note that the NPD criteria also includes “interpersonal exploitative behavior” which I would interpret as manipulative/abusive.
The most famous feral child case in history is a girl named Genie, who was abused because her single father had autism and noise sensitivity. He couldn't stand the sound of crying, so he locked her in a room and beat her if she cried. She learned that making noise was bad, and never learned to talk. When she was rescued, she learned a few words, but never how to use them properly.
And you want me to believe that's not as bad as narcissism. You want to minimise Genie's abuse and my abuse, because our parents didn't have the "right" disorder to call out. You're a disgusting abuse enabler.
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I 100% understand your wife. I'm not that bad, but it's a consequence of being told you have to be perfect or you failed growing up, at least for me. If something doesn't go right the first time I still get that mini freeze "error encountered on line 1 please reboot" that my parents unintentionally instilled in me.
Abaolutely, it's obvious where it came from.
I have my own, different issues especially socially. It's bad enough she has to deal with that, sometimes i wish it wasn't an issue because she has so much potential past that unlike myself...so i hate watching it be like this.
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In my early school years, we only had round tipped plastic safety scissors that could barely cut tissue paper. As a kid, I was terrified at the degree of responsibility and potential to take another kid's life those scissors represented.
The adults in charge when I was a kid had us convinced that if we ran with scissors in our hands we were going to kill the other children in the vicinity by accident in the most horrifically bloody and violent manner. They even showed us video re-enactments of children getting stabbed in the heart, neck, and eye complete with fake blood gushing out and Bugs Bunny worthy death performances.
A lot of us thought this was some super common way that kids were dying by the millions all across the world.
Growing up is realising that sometimes a blunt knife can do more damage than a sharp one.
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As a kid, I always assumed if someone fell down the stairs--they died. It just appeared that way often enough in tv and movies.
If you faint, you can hurt yourself pretty badly by just falling to the ground; now imagine the same thing with stairs.
Even if awake, falling down the stairs has the risk of you hitting your head/neck/back, so it might be exaggerated somehow in movies, but still potentially bad.
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I 100% understand your wife. I'm not that bad, but it's a consequence of being told you have to be perfect or you failed growing up, at least for me. If something doesn't go right the first time I still get that mini freeze "error encountered on line 1 please reboot" that my parents unintentionally instilled in me.
it’s a consequence of being told you have to be perfect or you failed growing up
This would explain so much of the political in-fighting we see here, where "the perfect" becomes the enemy of "the good."
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The most famous feral child case in history is a girl named Genie, who was abused because her single father had autism and noise sensitivity. He couldn't stand the sound of crying, so he locked her in a room and beat her if she cried. She learned that making noise was bad, and never learned to talk. When she was rescued, she learned a few words, but never how to use them properly.
And you want me to believe that's not as bad as narcissism. You want to minimise Genie's abuse and my abuse, because our parents didn't have the "right" disorder to call out. You're a disgusting abuse enabler.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I guess I am the abuse enabler for trying to put the blame on the abuser instead of an arbitrarily chosen mental disorder.
Did they conduct a full psychiatric evaluation on the father? Did they conclude that he only had autism? Any anger disorders that may have caused him to lash out more with more severity? Any personality disorders that caused a lack of empathy and an interest only in the self? Any intellectual disabilities that inhibited him from seeking better solutions (like wearing noise isolation muffs)? No? Because the father shot himself after being charged with child abuse? Because the case study was done on the child, after the fact, to study the effects of what was done to her, and not why those things were done?
You can conclude from the study that abuse is bad. With regard to the father, the effects of autism on abusive behavior is inconclusive at best. Yeah, it sucks that that happened to her. No one is saying “aw shucks, looks like the father didn’t have a definitive NPD diagnosis, I guess it wasn’t abuse then” because fucking obviously it was abuse and fucking obviously abuse is bad, you just don’t need a mental disorder to pin it on. There are other ways to become an abuser: generational trauma, neglect, and yes NPD.
On an entirely unrelated note, I caught my girlfriend cheating the other day, but I could not for the life of me figure out why, so I could only conclude that I was wrong and she never actually cheated on me in the first place
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