do you think freewill truly exists?
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Listen man, we (as individuals) can't care for or help everybody. Connect with the ones you care about and don't harm everyone else. The fact that I don't care about you, doesn't mean we can't coexist or even help each other.
Looking form another angle, why not wanting to socialize in stranger small talk is bad? Why I am expected to accommodate? Why can't we just enjoy the silence in this hypothetical situation?
I see this sentiment more often than not. Me, as the less social party, is expected to move out of my comfort zone, but the person trying get me into a conversation isn't expected do the same and just keep to themselves.
If relative isolation is what makes you happy or you have your own core group of people who will never leave you and they reliably fulfill your social needs, that's fine. But I see this sentiment expressed by people who also whine endlessly how hard dating is, how hard it is to meet people and make friends, how hard it is to socialize, how lonely they are, etc. You can't have it all.
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My speech is deep. My beard is neck.
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I would love to walk into my house in silence and just sit down. I'm usually stressed AF when I get home and the last thing I want to do is talk to someone. Unfortunately I rent from a couple of retirees who spend all day camped out in their living room watching TV and it's impossible to enter the house without going through there and having to have a tedious conversation with them about what their dog did today or whatever stupid thing.
That's actually kinda crazy to me because those "tedious conversations" are usually the highlight of my dad. It's a nice lil bit of human connection while I slog through the corporate machine
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But that would be great! Let's start an awesome exploration of a very existential topic. Certainly better and more interesting that talking about shopping.
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No. Last I knew, PET (?) scans appear to indicate that decisions are reached by your unconscious mind before they're made by your conscious mind; the implication is that what you believe is you making a choice is actually you rationalizing a choice that's been made through processes that you can't directly see or affect. IF that's correct, then people are quite deterministic, as long as you know all of the inputs.
But on a practical, day-to-day basis, calling it 'free will' is a convenient fiction or shorthand. While free will may not exist, we largely believe that it does, and our perception of that in turn shapes our perception of reality. So it ends up not really mattering, strictly speaking.
You think that we have no affect on our own unconscious mind?
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ITT we ask the autistic to self identify
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This post did not contain any content.wrote on last edited by [email protected]
fyi do not talk about whether women have freewill to your conservative husband or it will hurt their feelings and some of their hearts have grown so tiny it might crush their old self in a single blow.
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So small talk is a horrible name then.
Could one, instead, just ask "Hey, are you willing to get into a big deep metaphysical conversation right now?" Then ask the question?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]small talk
Personally I think it is a very interesting and purely object oriented name though you are right it technically isn't a functional one.
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how do people who like small talk plan on being in sustained meaningful relationships what are you gonna do "hi honey nice weather we're having huh?"
my plan is to be too busy kissing my partner at all times to say anything
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If relative isolation is what makes you happy or you have your own core group of people who will never leave you and they reliably fulfill your social needs, that's fine. But I see this sentiment expressed by people who also whine endlessly how hard dating is, how hard it is to meet people and make friends, how hard it is to socialize, how lonely they are, etc. You can't have it all.
I suppose there's nuance in everything. That's a fair criticism.
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I suppose there's nuance in everything. That's a fair criticism.
I appreciate the nuanced and self-examined reply, Satan.
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Shit got real in the shit post sub.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]This is a surprisingly powerful topic for a lot of people *
*those people particularly being the ends of the spectrum between "people who discovered how easy it is to get people to like you" and "angry introverts who don't want to change."
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Asking someone you love "How was your day?" is a meaningful question. Small talk is bullshit time wasting between randos or acquaintances.
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"Such weather we're having huh?"
Truly peak romance
The current state of society is: "Ugh I can't believe this cashier is talking about the weather when I'm in a hurry to get back on the internet to complain about how lonely I am and how hard it is to make friends and date."
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But at least it’s a conversation you can work with “oh yeah it’s so nice we should go do X” or “yeah it’s crazy out there, we should stay in and watch a movie and snuggle” the point of small talk is to open avenues of conversation… I think people just don’t know how to have conversations anymore and chalk it up to “not liking small talk”. Observation and response is a perfectly normal way to start a conversation
wrote on last edited by [email protected]People will also say something stupid about the weather or news or whatever just because they want to express to you that they're friendly and open to converse. Ignoring "small talk" from a stranger is like actively rejecting someone's desire to connect. What are they supposed to say if they want to chat? "I AM A HUMAN RECEPTIVE TO CONVERSE, PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT GEOPOLITICS"
Which is fine, if you're as antisocial and spiteful against "casual life" like everyone in this post is pretending to be and you love it and you're happy, that's great. Say "just put it in the bag" and get out of there.
The problem is most of these people who act like people talking about "last night's game" are NPC's in the Matrix and they would NEVER stoop to the level of talking about sports or weather... are the same people who will race home to post their manifestos about how lonely they are and how society is crumbling and how they wish they lived somewhere walkable with community and how hard dating is.
Our cognitive dissonance as a species is maxing out.
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So, you just HAVE to talk?
Do you hate silence?
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we should go do X
we should stay in and watch a movie and snuggle
That's not small talk, that's planning what to do today. You can open the same conversation with "hey, what do you want to do today?"
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Most people who "hate small talk" in posts like this have either very specific ideas in their mind of what it means, such as annoying coworkers who talk about quilting or baseball loudly in the next cubicle, or are deeply sour, lonely, cynical shits who think they're god's gift to intellectualism and have never had a girlfriend in their life so they can't imagine what people talk about casually in private, and think that being in a relationship with someone needs to be like, always planning a heist over a map of the city sewer system or talking about geopolitics or lecturing their imaginary waifu about science facts.
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No. Because the people in power use their influence to torture everyone else.
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No. Small talk is what you do with people who are unfamiliar. It's not the bits you exchange with someone who is intimate. That's just catching up. Small talk takes effort for an introvert (which I am). Catching up is just shooting the breeze.
I already lack the energy required to try and explain how you've created an unnecessary division.
Small talk is just talking about unimportant things, because it can be considered impolite to start digging into the core of stranger's identity while you're both waiting in line. Sounds to me like you're putting your discomfort around strangers on small talk.
I am also an introvert. I've just put effort into trying to continue conversations.
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What did drag do?
Idk. Everyone's done something but I don't know them like that.
I was adopting a joke stance against their dragon fuckinf.
