The great millennial garbage gyre
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When the ratio is that high, you can be certain there will also be women looking to hook up.
I can vouch that the friend of a friend connection works really well.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
38 year old man here: you're gonna be alone whether your dick's in a woman or not. If you want companionship get a golden retriever and if you want your dick serviced be advised the Japanese do some pretty interesting things with silicone rubber these days.
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Pretty sure that's how catch a predator got their content.
You'd do way better by doing that in the cheese aisle.
You got it all wrong. The cheese isle is to attract women. It fascinates them.
To attract men, you just have to look confused in the WWII section.
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I still remember when bumble had to change their entire premise and business model because as it turns out women are worse at starting conversations than men lmao.
I wholeheartedly believe that the Internet and smart phones have been the biggest double edge swords in human history. We have the entire globes collected knowledge at our fingertips with the ability to connect with any other person on the planet instantly and it has caused the largest shift in loneliness and depression ever.
Humans simply are not wired for social media and the Internet. Seeing every single person you know posting themselves beautiful and dressed up doing the coolest things 24/7 will make anyone feel ugly and like they aren't doing anything with their lives. It takes real focused effort to remember that people (generally) only post when they are doing something special and what you don't see are the days or weeks between posts that show they live the same boring life you live.
I'm ranting for no reason. I think when we lost in person social gatherings as the primary method of meeting new people is when society kicked that concrete block off the cliff. Right now we are just waiting for the rope to snap taught and drag us all into the abyss.
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Dating is hard for everyone in one way or another, and, speaking as one, several ways for those who look pretty dead average but have trouble socializing and really only go between home and work. I don't even feel like I'm that picky; no cigarettes, no kids, yes empathy, and a complementary flavor of weird/neurodivergence.
Pokemon Go will probably net you 2 of those at least.
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It’s hard for weirdos to find other weirdos because all weirdos have some level of social anxiety. Ask me how I know.
How do you know?
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Make a lemmy community for dating.
wrote last edited by [email protected]l mean, yea, weird, but not that weird.
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38 year old man here: you're gonna be alone whether your dick's in a woman or not. If you want companionship get a golden retriever and if you want your dick serviced be advised the Japanese do some pretty interesting things with silicone rubber these days.
wrote last edited by [email protected]No disrespect, I really dig your style. But man, this comment section keeps on giving
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I’ll be honest. I developed more engaging relationships through sugar daddy websites than I ever had through dating sites. And I didn’t spend any money on the sugar babies. I would let my personality carry the relationship and it worked out for a while. Then I made fun of someone trying to do what seemed like. A set up to mug me for money. That got me banned from the site. Miss those days.
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No disrespect, I really dig your style. But man, this comment section keeps on giving
So does the golden retriever!
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It's probably better than the sea of picless profiles of "discreet" married "straight" men on Grindr.
Something specifically designed for hookups isn't exactly the best place to go for viable dating partners.
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Something specifically designed for hookups isn't exactly the best place to go for viable dating partners.
This implies Tinder isn't also just used as a hookup app.
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Dating is hard for everyone in one way or another, and, speaking as one, several ways for those who look pretty dead average but have trouble socializing and really only go between home and work. I don't even feel like I'm that picky; no cigarettes, no kids, yes empathy, and a complementary flavor of weird/neurodivergence.
Sometimes the no kids thing, can be a huge red flag, a lot of the incel / women hating types put no kids. There's a lot of them out there and they're really extreme, you might be limiting your dating pool by wanting someone who doesn't have kids but then if you're into never having kids, that's a different thing, entirely.
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Reluctant to settle, spoiled for choice, great ways of describing the situation.
the apparently-bottomless firehose of faces that makes you desensitized, the anonymous dismissal of them makes you callous.
The apps are just another dopamine slot machine, so the companies don't care and in fact would rather keep people in their app.
Any dating app that was any good at its stated aim wouldn't be able to make enough money to survive.
By definition dating apps don't want you to meet a partner, they want you addicted to swiping and tapping and almost finding a partner. If you hook up a few times along the way then that's just a secondary benefit and keeps that carrot dangling in front of you.
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When woman say, that men are poor quality commodities it's funny you see?
I'm a man and I need a bro to explain me
why are men attracted to younger women?
I'm interested in women my age ± like 5 years ish.
when I was a teen I was into teens, in my 20s I was into girls in their 20s...
the idea of dating a 20 years old as a 36 year old man seems gross and annoying.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
wrote last edited by [email protected]join IRL clubs, the first 5 to 10 times you go it'll be painfully awkward, and I mean painful.
and the 5 few clubs you try will also feel painfully awkward.
but you'll find a club you can't wait for the next meeting. and you'll make real IRL friends and connections.
just force yourself to attend.
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Sometimes the no kids thing, can be a huge red flag, a lot of the incel / women hating types put no kids. There's a lot of them out there and they're really extreme, you might be limiting your dating pool by wanting someone who doesn't have kids but then if you're into never having kids, that's a different thing, entirely.
It's not necessarily a billboard I put up stating that I don't want kids. I made the decision long ago, partially based on my upbringing and now the current world situation, to never have children, so I checked the boxes saying I don't have, and don't want, children. That's it.
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It’s hard for weirdos to find other weirdos because all weirdos have some level of social anxiety. Ask me how I know.
I would, but you'd be too anxious to respond! (yes whoosh, I get it)
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I still remember when bumble had to change their entire premise and business model because as it turns out women are worse at starting conversations than men lmao.
I wholeheartedly believe that the Internet and smart phones have been the biggest double edge swords in human history. We have the entire globes collected knowledge at our fingertips with the ability to connect with any other person on the planet instantly and it has caused the largest shift in loneliness and depression ever.
Humans simply are not wired for social media and the Internet. Seeing every single person you know posting themselves beautiful and dressed up doing the coolest things 24/7 will make anyone feel ugly and like they aren't doing anything with their lives. It takes real focused effort to remember that people (generally) only post when they are doing something special and what you don't see are the days or weeks between posts that show they live the same boring life you live.
I'm ranting for no reason. I think when we lost in person social gatherings as the primary method of meeting new people is when society kicked that concrete block off the cliff. Right now we are just waiting for the rope to snap taught and drag us all into the abyss.
Every starting conversation on Bumble was like:
"Hey"
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A confounding issue is the apps themselves have gotten worse over time. Like, old okcupid you could search. You could type in like "final fantasy" or "the Mets" and find people who liked those things enough to put them on their profile.
Now you're limited to whatever the app decides to give you. Well, the app doesn't want you to leave so that incentive doesn't line up.
wrote last edited by [email protected]OkCupid used to actually work rather well at finding compatible people who were actually honest about what they were looking for.
Then it got bigger, got acquired, and the matching model of the whole industry was intentionally modified to be more monetizable, and to keep giving matches that are close, but not close enough to be truely long term compatible.
You aren't using the app/website anymore if it works and gets you a successful long term match.
You are using the app for a longer time if you keep getting close but just missing the mark.
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Do people not think their dating app is tracking... how many matches and text exchanges they have?
How much time elapses between you matching, chatting, leaving... and then going back to swiping?
And then multidimensional matrix comparing that to every other definable variable about you?
Including whether or not you say you're looking for something long term, or serious... but you actually keep cycling through people?
These algos, these things... they know exactly to what extent you lie to yourself and others, and they weaponize that to keep people in a sort of optimal (for the app, not you), constant disappointment loop.
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Everything digital is now way beyond 'if its free, you are the product'.
The model is now entirely attention, addiction based, and manipulating your emotions in as close to real time as possible is absolutely integral to all this.
People forget that over a decade ago, Zuckerberg said his dream was to be able to predict with high accuracy what any given Facebook user would post next.
Nearly a decade ago, Netflix CEO or some such stated 'our primary competitor is sleep'.
People largely do not realize the extent to which these corpo fucks have been running highly precise and targeted manipulation of every aspect of human behavior... all to drive goddamn ad revenue and market share, ie, entrench themselves as institutions the modern world is no longer imaginable without.
