I agree with almost all of this, but I genuinely don't think OP was hitting on her.
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I agree with almost all of this, but I genuinely don't think OP was hitting on her. I think he was trying to be complimentary but the autism combined with men over a certain age never really being taught how to do that in a non-creepy way made it come out as harassment. Like you said, you should only really compliment a stranger (or well anyone that's not a lover) on aspects of their appearance they have control of. I think he then did the "autistic over-explain the situation" that just comes across as putting your foot in it. I used to have the same issue and it wasn't until I realised I have autism that I was able to work on just apologising and keeping my mouth shut in most situations.
As well, having the forethought to not make this sort of comment, in any capacity, a couple days after some guy was thrown out for being leery would have been good. Again though, I think that's the autism and having the knowledge of that about yourself can help you start to self-reflect about your own thought processes in a way that would help immensely.
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I agree with almost all of this, but I genuinely don't think OP was hitting on her. I think he was trying to be complimentary but the autism combined with men over a certain age never really being taught how to do that in a non-creepy way made it come out as harassment. Like you said, you should only really compliment a stranger (or well anyone that's not a lover) on aspects of their appearance they have control of. I think he then did the "autistic over-explain the situation" that just comes across as putting your foot in it. I used to have the same issue and it wasn't until I realised I have autism that I was able to work on just apologising and keeping my mouth shut in most situations.
As well, having the forethought to not make this sort of comment, in any capacity, a couple days after some guy was thrown out for being leery would have been good. Again though, I think that's the autism and having the knowledge of that about yourself can help you start to self-reflect about your own thought processes in a way that would help immensely.
aspects of their appearance they have control of
Well, the lady has control of being naked, and she could remove her tattoos if she really wanted to. I'm sorry, I know what you're referring to. Commenting on skin color, hair type, body shape, etc.
But if you're going to build an argument about that, being naked is not that.
I'm not defending or supporting OP. I just wanted to mention that.
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aspects of their appearance they have control of
Well, the lady has control of being naked, and she could remove her tattoos if she really wanted to. I'm sorry, I know what you're referring to. Commenting on skin color, hair type, body shape, etc.
But if you're going to build an argument about that, being naked is not that.
I'm not defending or supporting OP. I just wanted to mention that.
Don't nitpick.
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Don't nitpick.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Why not?
Again, being naked is something you can control.
I don't mean to derail the conversation. Like I said, I think OP dun goofed.
It's just silly to tell OP "oh don't comment on something the person can't change, like their nakedness!!" C'mon, now. What's next? Wearing ties can't be changed either?
