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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • magnetosphere@fedia.ioM [email protected]

    Greater empathy is everyone’s ultimate goal, rather than wealth, fame, sexual conquests, etc.

    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #96

    In a flash, everyone's prime directive is empathy. Our modern systems of government based on greed and sex drive crumble away. In its place rises the Feelings Bureaucracy; a dictatorial government in which social offenses, inflicted on the unified society of empathic feelers, is punished severely. The fastest way to deal with bad actors to ensure they do not make others feel bad is to execute them. In response, the world develops a culture of putting another's needs before one's own, or else:

    G 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • R [email protected]

      More LUIGIS

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #97

      Luigi mania sweeps the nation! People fill public spaces and convention halls in full Luigi garb: it's a bit of nuisance.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • P [email protected]

        I had dinner last night, but I didn't like it that much. Can you change my memories of the whole situation?

        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #98

        Done. You no longer remember the last ten years of your life:

        P A 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

          You manage to enact a socialist economy in one country for a few years. But the rest of the globe is still largely capitalist. Your president is assassinated, ushering in a pro-capitalist dictatorship:

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #99

          Neoliberalism was born in Chile Neoliberalism will die in Chile!

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            R This user is from outside of this forum
            R This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #100

            A bagel.

            No. Wait.

            Two bagels.

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              W This user is from outside of this forum
              W This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #101

              The ability to restart parts of my life from a save file, starting from like 16.

              W balderdash9@lemmy.zipB dasus@lemmy.worldD 3 Replies Last reply
              1
              • sassyramen@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                Donald John Trump to never be born

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                #102

                A man who would be named Donald John Trump has never been born. You don't know him (he isn't the president), because he's never been born:

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #103

                  Can you get me the Chalupa Supreme combo with 1 steak and 1 chicken?

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                    You go to an intimate gathering, just friends. A guy you've never seen before introduces himself. He has everything you're looking for; just a well-adjusted and wholesome human being. You're also everything he's looking for and so you spend your lives together. Everything is so great that you can't imagine living without him. He dies a decade before you do, leaving you to pick up the pieces.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #104

                    to quote my favourite game

                    The pain of your absence is sharp and haunting, and I would give anything not to know it; anything but never knowing you at all.

                    i could try to make peace with that

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                      Done. You no longer remember the last ten years of your life:

                      P This user is from outside of this forum
                      P This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #105

                      Where am I?!
                      Who are you?!
                      Why am I so full of diarrhea?!

                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                        Done. You no longer remember the last ten years of your life:

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #106

                        Totally genie like behavior. I love it.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P [email protected]

                          Where am I?!
                          Who are you?!
                          Why am I so full of diarrhea?!

                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                          D This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #107

                          To be fair, I've had IBS that was exactly that disorienting. No need for magic on that one.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            hupf@feddit.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
                            hupf@feddit.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #108

                            [email protected]

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                              It is the Golden Age of humanity. Robots serve, CRISPR cures, and war is unnecessary. Earth becomes a paradise--pure perfection. And so we turn our eyes to the stars. The human race spreads throughout the galaxy. We encounter alien species and subsequently, in our magnanimity, conquer them. We are unity. Every life-form will submit to the peace of our administration: or they will perish.

                              D This user is from outside of this forum
                              D This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #109

                              Had me in the first half. Nice hack. Why rewrite reality when you can just send one person to the mirror universe?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • S [email protected]

                                I'd like to be the sole owner of all global patents required for an effective, sustainable, eco-friendly solution to removing and recycling microplastics from earth's environment.

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #110

                                It's official: you are now the sole owner of all eco-friendly and sustainable microplastic patents. There are only a few that are effective, and they are all set to expire in an hour:

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • W [email protected]

                                  The ability to restart parts of my life from a save file, starting from like 16.

                                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #111

                                  Read Peter F Hamilton's Void saga.

                                  W 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #112

                                    To see all Oaken Tower players have their computer mice overheat when playing that game. To the point where an hour of playing it would make their mice unusable.

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W [email protected]

                                      Read Peter F Hamilton's Void saga.

                                      W This user is from outside of this forum
                                      W This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #113

                                      Literally would not have the time for that on an average day. Will see if I can get Vuzix glasses 2 so I can covertly read it at work.

                                      W 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS [email protected]

                                        The Combine off Earth. I want the Combine off Earth!

                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #114

                                        Half-Life 3 Confirmed:

                                        samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #115

                                          Popcorn Shrimp rain, please.

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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