Get. Off. The. Plane.
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(Source: TikTok video)
The guys in front of and behind you are thinking the exactly same thing.
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of course. bottled water salesman.
Or knives.
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(Source: TikTok video)
Everyone in the photo thinking the same thing.
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Yes it's insane. I was on a flight recently, we got in 15 minutes early and the flight attendant came over the PA asking to let people with tight connections off first. I was bewildered, we're 15 minutes early, just deplane like normal. I didn't have a connection, but I do have things in my life I need to attend to.
just say you have a connection?
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You aren't in traffic. You are traffic.
Just stop flying altogether, we're in the middle of a worsening climate crisis. We can't afford ourselves to fly anymore.
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(Source: TikTok video)
That's why I fly business only. If I can't afford for business class I don't fly, simple as that.
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Do not bring tiktok content here too. We had ENOUGH of tiktok.
It's worse than drinking hydrochloric acid.
Funnily enough, TikTok and the like are probably a huge part of having not much patience, I believe.
Consuming non-stop content that is only a few seconds long can't be good in the long run. (And yes I sound like an old man yelling at the cloud...)
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This is the same line of thinking as, "if everyone drove like me, there'd be no traffic," (a phrase used exclusively by terrible drivers).
If everyone drove like me there'd be no traffic. As I only pick up the car like once a month.
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(Source: TikTok video)
wrote last edited by [email protected]Listen, I've had to lift and carry 6ft2 elderly into and out of their seat and then the airplane specific wheelchair needed to have clearance to board the plane. It takes a minute. Not everybody is you, some people need help and others need a little extra time. Calm the fuck down.
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(Source: TikTok video)
I feel like I'm going crazy here with so many comments insisting the fastest way is to wait for everyone in front of them to go first. I could hardly engineer a slower way to go about it
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(Source: TikTok video)
wrote last edited by [email protected]To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
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(Source: TikTok video)
Why stress yourself like that?
Just wait in your seat a few minutes longer, you even have an internet connection now. And the best part is, you then don't have to walk together with that crowd, and then your baggage is probably also already on the belt when you're there to pick it up.
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Everyone in the photo thinking the same thing.
Simple question to find out, how much space is there between you and the person in front when you leave the plane?
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(Source: TikTok video)
Just stay seated. You're going to wait for the luggage anyway.
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If everyone drove like me there'd be no traffic. As I only pick up the car like once a month.
Covid was a great time with clear roads
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Listen, I've had to lift and carry 6ft2 elderly into and out of their seat and then the airplane specific wheelchair needed to have clearance to board the plane. It takes a minute. Not everybody is you, some people need help and others need a little extra time. Calm the fuck down.
"wheelchair" it's a torture trolley.
We always used to just sit until everyone else was off the plane except crew of course, since it took that long to get my husband's power wheelchair from the baggage compartment to the gate anyway. Then I'd check they hadn't damaged it too much to drive, and lift him into it from the torture trolley. Or into the manual chair if they really had broken the electric one. Otherwise it was good for schlepping stuff.
God, these days we don't even try, it's gotten less and less accessible because airlines are exempt from the ADA.
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I mean, imo we should all collectively decide to deboard from in to out, not row by row. Makes way more sense, since two columns can stand up and grab their bags from the overhead, then two whole columns just walk off the plane. As it is, literally the whole plane is blocked from exiting by every single row as they stand there struggling to get their bags free.
If you have a kid with you, or some other circumstance like that, sure, take them with you. But for everyone else deplaning by column makes a ton more sense.
Ah yes, collective decision making, so easy, especially with strangers.
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
that was beautiful
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Listen, I've had to lift and carry 6ft2 elderly into and out of their seat and then the airplane specific wheelchair needed to have clearance to board the plane. It takes a minute. Not everybody is you, some people need help and others need a little extra time. Calm the fuck down.
Could you please calm down?
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That's why I fly business only. If I can't afford for business class I don't fly, simple as that.
Friendly reminder that if we all fly more than 6 times in our lives, our planet is fucked and cannot be recovered
