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  3. ‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

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  • I [email protected]

    That's really not the type of person she is, or the type of relationship we have. She might well know that I'm still sharing with her, but it's not because she's controlling or untrusting. It would be because she had a reason to check recently.

    dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
    dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #308

    Yeah, my wife has mine and I know she doesn't use it as often as she could, because I'll get the text, and I'll be like hey, just check the location. Both or jobs take us different places every day (that we aren't home), and so neither of us have a schedule, and so rather than the same texts every day, "When you home," when we're trying to figure out the kids, or dinner, or camps, or I have to go to work at night, or she has a book club meeting, or whatever other myriad things happen every day, we can skip that step. Or we have the ability to, and my wife forgets about it.

    I 1 Reply Last reply
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    • A [email protected]

      Apple absolutely doesn’t sell that information. The way they implemented it, they can’t even collect the information to sell.

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #309

      Bullshit, why would they follow the law here? The penalties are hilariously tiny compared to the profits.

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      • C [email protected]

        You can send it on a one-off basis in Signal. Share location, requested sparingly it can be done but seems like there are bigger issues by the time thats even necessary and coming up regularly

        dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
        dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #310

        If I'm doing it multiple times a day every day, why not just keep it on. Do you only leave the house once? I know that for some people that is the case, wake up, go to work, come home, all on a nice schedule. That is not the case in our house, not even close, and so it's nice to be able to streamline the process of getting our shit together every day.

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        • Y [email protected]

          Are you saying Apple doesn’t have access to my location already? Like I’m some kind of secret agent?

          M This user is from outside of this forum
          M This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by [email protected]
          #311

          Third parties is plural. English kinda hard sometimes lowkey

          Y 1 Reply Last reply
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          • H [email protected]

            I don’t have her passwords, she doesn’t have mine.

            Having the means for each spouse to get the others passwords can be pretty essential when dealing with critical emergencies and death. It's good to have some way for someone you trust to get your online accounts when you pass away so that everything can be concluded and canceled and sentimental content preservation and all that.

            For my relationship the means to gain access to my password manager are available in the case of an emergency. Maybe shove the credentials in a bank security box and put access to it into your will if you don't feel you can trust your partner with the knowledge while you are alive.

            B This user is from outside of this forum
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #312

            Having the means for each spouse to get the others passwords can be pretty essential when dealing with critical emergencies and death.

            I wa actually thinking about this. After I had a password breach, I wanted to setup a password manager. I wanted something. That I could host locally and access across my VPN. I also thought it would be neat to have a Deadman switch built in to it, where it pings you at set intervals and asks you to just hit a button to confirm you are alive. If you miss a certain number of pings consecutively, then it emails your specified backup contacts and has allows them to access your passwords.

            Is this anything anyone here is interested in? Or does it exist already?

            O 1 Reply Last reply
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            • Y [email protected]

              Yes, Apple already has my location. Using the location finder in iOS does not share data with advertisers. Also, I spend 99% of my time at my house. Wtf kind of secret shit do you think I’m up to?

              M This user is from outside of this forum
              M This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #313

              Location services definitely does something genius lmao

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • B [email protected]

                That's a fair point, it's also not the issue at hand 🤷‍♂️

                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #314

                Its definitely a huge issue at hand.

                B 1 Reply Last reply
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                • dozzi92@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

                  Made worse, like they had the info before but now they really have it? They always have it, that's it. If you're concerned about privacy drop the phone, otherwise it's a bullshit argument.

                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #315

                  You think the toggle literally does nothing? That's insane. Third parties don't exist? Extra surveillance doesnt exist? You are fucking ignorant.

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                  • H [email protected]

                    Some of the arguments for mutual tracking relate to safety, not cheating.

                    dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dozzi92@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #316

                    None of the arguments for sharing location relate to cheating. If you are worried your partner is cheating, nothing will assuage your concerns, that is a you and them problem. I don't think for one second my wife would cheat on me, and not because I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread or anything, she's just a good, honest person, and when we have things come up in our relationship she talks to me.

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                    • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      roserose56@lemmy.caR This user is from outside of this forum
                      roserose56@lemmy.caR This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #317

                      Then brake up with her!
                      Why you stay with partner that do not trust you?
                      Yea not everything works perfect inba relationship, but people should allow some space.

                      underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • V [email protected]

                        Me an my GF have been sharing location for years now, it has never been an issue and often been handy to see if one of us is driving from work to home or finding each other in a festival or theme park etc.

                        But well I kinda wanna surprise here and for that I need to drive somewhere where I normally don't go, so now I gotta find an excuse just incase she checks my location. Or I just turn of my Phone for an hour or two

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #318

                        But well I kinda wanna surprise here and for that I need to drive somewhere where I normally don't go, so now I gotta find an excuse just incase she checks my location. Or I just turn of my Phone for an hour or two

                        Eww this is just weird you have to think about that.

                        V 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • 0 [email protected]

                          Forget your phone at home?

                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #319

                          Wait isn't that unsafe!

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • paraphrand@lemmy.worldP [email protected]

                            Yeah, it is possible to be totally sane about it.

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #320

                            No it really isn't, privacy is a nuanced thing.

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                            • dozzi92@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

                              I have my mom's location, and it's good because she just turned 64 (I think) five minutes ago, I need to wish her a happy birthday, appreciate the reminder. But when she travels out alone, sometimes it's nice to know she got back to her hotel without having to bother her about it, so we do the sharing thing. And for hiking alone, sharing your location with someone beforehand just seems like a good idea.

                              This article is dumb. Location sharing is silly. People will abuse it, and those same people would've found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway. I had girlfriends as a kid who'd demand calls when I was at a party they weren't at. Dealing with a lack of trust in a relationship is a growing pain.

                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              S This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #321

                              People will abuse it, and those same people would've found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway.

                              The WHOLE point of this thread is that NO this is a new entirely more persistent tool of abuse.

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                              • A [email protected]

                                If your partner doesn't abuse it is fine, but that's also possible to change at any time.

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #322

                                Further most people don't know they are in abusive relationships even if it is obvious to others around them so the casually dismissive argument "well abusive couples shouldn't use it" is a trash argument.

                                A 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • I [email protected]

                                  It might have to do with how much Americans must work and sit in a car every day I guess. I suppose that sort of workflow makes sense. But then I'll definitely chalk it up to America bad. Thats not a life I'd want to live.

                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                  #323

                                  The US is the most selfconfident, "personally successful so me and my family are fine :)" country about to go into a second great depression on earth.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #324

                                    a common way to keep tabs on friends, family and romantic partners
                                    so I allow the app to alert him each time I reach my front door. In a disappointingly heteronormative and retrograde move, I’m more interested in knowing when he goes out – where’s he off to now? – and set up my own notifications accordingly.
                                    Having grown up with the internet, gen Z are, generally, more comfortable sharing their data online; Snapchat, the social media platform notoriously most popular with younger users, has long incorporated location sharing with its Snap Maps feature.

                                    Does anyone even have a private moment at all?
                                    Also if I were to cheat I'd leave my phone in a very specific spot if I can. Faux location services may work, but mostly switching to a feature phone seems to be secret trick that shuts down these app fueled nightmare.

                                    Oh, sorry, the battery is down I had to switch to my old phone for a moment!
                                    When did we stop having private moments and thoughts?
                                    I like tech when it aides me, but recently it has been feeding off my personal time and even some order of thoughts in ways it didn't do before. It almost feels like it tries to fix and set up human emotions in ways that are forced.

                                    Do you want technology to replace normal communication and socialisation skills? Or does it even matter to you that it is what happens now. Remember that only a few years before nobody followed you all the day, and even the internet access was relegated to a computer room. How far have we come from that?

                                    P 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • roserose56@lemmy.caR [email protected]

                                      Then brake up with her!
                                      Why you stay with partner that do not trust you?
                                      Yea not everything works perfect inba relationship, but people should allow some space.

                                      underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                                      underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                      #325

                                      Why you stay with partner that do not trust you?

                                      Because the dating scene sucks.

                                      That's sort of the irony of it all. People are terrified of being cheated on, because it implies their partner has an attractive alternative they found with mysterious ease. Meanwhile, they're stuck trawling for singles in the gutter.

                                      But it's illusionary. Hot MILFs are not, in fact, In Your Area Waiting To Fuck. Being single, particularly when you're older, is miserable for a lot of people.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • naevatherat@lemmy.dbzer0.comN [email protected]

                                        Yes we're teenagers. We've been married 15 years, ceremony was when we were three.

                                        Privacy is important, have you never kept a diary? Do you film therapy sessions lest your partner not know what you discussed? Shit with the door open? You don't need justification for wanting privacy, you need privacy so when you have a good reason for it nothing looks different.

                                        What if there’s an emergency?

                                        What if there is? Get help, that's an insane fear to live with. If I am unconscious there's nothing to do anyway, the hospital or whatever will find her details in my purse and call. What the fuck am I going to do, sit there watching the dot on the map and calling 000 if it stops moving? You are a lunatic, we have society to take care of us while we're out and about and emergency beacons if you're like camping beyond the black stump or sailing the Pacific.

                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #326

                                        If there's an emergency it will be known regardless. Levels of paranoia that are not justified; how many emergencies have you been in where an Internet connected device is so important in the shortest amount of time? Or at all. No. You might need a phone. But not an app in particular.

                                        And for long term emergencies an fm/am radio is a better tool than the Internet.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #327

                                          Do we all really think this is a great idea when fascism and toxic masculinity are catastrophically growing globally like a late stage mestastized cancer?

                                          Do you think enabling all those men to abusively control their spouses is just the forward march of technological progress?

                                          Y 1 Reply Last reply
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