What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?
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Okay, but the money you gave could have been used to provide community kitchen and shelters. Should community aid be given in cash based on peoples willingness to look convincingly in need? Should assertive street harassment be the default choice to get aid? Everytime you're tempted to give cash, give that much to a local shelter or kitchen.
when community aid doesn't actually aid the community - we have lots of shelters with rules against pets, couples, drinking etc., - religious orgs primarily who want to force their values on the victims.
Everytime you’re tempted to give cash, give that much to a local shelter or kitchen.
I disagree, there's something to be said for helping individuals when you can. And there are lots of individuals who will not seek institutional aid for a number of valid reasons.
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Plus there’s the problem of literally giving them a quarter. I used to empty my pockets out for the first person I saw on my way out of work. But too often they would just throw change on the ground and get mad.
I get that they hoped for more but it is something and is what I hsd
Especially in Canada. A quarter can't get you much of anything. You'd need 5 of them to get yourself the cheapest coffee. Probably more than one for a single piece of fruit, even.
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In the northeastern U.S. I've mostly learned to acknowledge them, don't give anything, and move on with my life.
Not sure if it's bad luck or what, but nearly every time I've tried to be nice and offer them something it always backfires. I'll be passing by with some food and they'll ask me for some, I give them some and then they tell me it wasn't enough and to give them all the food I was carrying. Like WTF?
Another time I actually had some change on me so I gave him some and he said it wasn't enough money and started following me, wanted me to go to an ATM so I can take out more money for him. I was forced to tell him to stop following me or I'd have to call the cops.
I have even more stories like that.. going through those motions repeatedly it feels like the homeless have taught me not to give to the homeless. But hopefully your experiences have better outcomes.
Dude, same happened to me. One guy threw the box of food he asked me to give him in a bush because he didn’t like Italian. Another told me to go to an atm for him. The last time I gave someone money they had me absolutely convinced that they needed $10 for the bus ride home. Before I even put my wallet away he was saying the same thing to the next guy.
Decided to stop that and donate to charity instead, even though money was tight. After my $20 donation they flooded my mailbox asking for more donations. They even sent me $5 with the message “This $5 could save a life!” So sick of being made into a fool for wanting to help.
If I were convinced a person truly needed help I could provide, I would straight up be willing to give them at least $1000. I simply don’t trust the pleas any more. Have to keep it limited to chance encounters with everyday people.
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My wife & I were going into a restaurant one afternoon, and there was a man in a wheelchair with no legs below the knee sitting next door at the exit to Walmart. His sign said that he was a homeless vet. As we started in, I told my wife to hold on, and I ran over and gave him $20. When I got back, my wife said, "Did you just give that guy 20 bucks?" I said, "Yep, why?" She said, "You know he's just going to spend it on alcohol." I said, "I hope so, the guy ain't got no legs, let him have a good drink!"
I heard that story once on reddit tho. Are you just saying a story, or was it you?
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I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
Honestly there's panhandlers then there's homeless. I get asked for money surprisingly few amounts of times from homeless and I usually throw them $5-10 every time if I have cash.
Frequent panhandlers I will never give money to. If you're around the area a lot it's pretty easy to know the difference.
That's a great point. There are also a lot of career panhandlers where I live. Like, "getting picked up in fancy SUVs" career panhandlers.
I hope they're just scam artists and not victims of human trafficking.
Which raises another point -- sometimes giving money to people in the streets is supporting human trafficking.
You have to really know who your money is going to. And 9 times out of 10, I'd wager the money is better off being donated to services that support people in need than it is going into a takeout coffee cup at the end of a stretched out arm.
But food is still probably a great help no matter what, even if it is for a victim of human trafficking. Everyone needs to eat.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I don't carry cash, so that's an easy answer.
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I heard that story once on reddit tho. Are you just saying a story, or was it you?
That was probably me on Reddit. I’ve probably posted it there on a similar post.
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Okay, but the money you gave could have been used to provide community kitchen and shelters. Should community aid be given in cash based on peoples willingness to look convincingly in need? Should assertive street harassment be the default choice to get aid? Everytime you're tempted to give cash, give that much to a local shelter or kitchen.
Don't shame people for their choice of giving methods. Shame people who give nothing.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I’d be much more likely to give money to someone trying to sell something or offering a service. They don’t even try anymore. Miss the old gas can routine.
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Okay, but the money you gave could have been used to provide community kitchen and shelters. Should community aid be given in cash based on peoples willingness to look convincingly in need? Should assertive street harassment be the default choice to get aid? Everytime you're tempted to give cash, give that much to a local shelter or kitchen.
Brother not everyone likes the shelter. A lot of homeless people refuse to go because they are dangerous and if you're trying to quit drugs, well now you're surrounded by druggies.
You have good intentions, but assistance can't be locked behind institutional demands. If they wanted to go to the shelter, they would be at the shelter. If they wanted to receive conditional help, they'd be at the shelter.
They are asking you for help, just give it if you can.
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Right, I feel like a total ass ignoring them because its just mean. But I also feel like if youre too friendly they think you're an easy person to rob as well...and im not a scary looking person. If i was it would help
Homeless people are much more likey to be victims of violence than they are to perpetrate it.
Homeless people are regular people, like you, who sleep on the street. Would YOU rob someone who is being nice to you?
Dorn dehumanize people just because they don't look, talk or smell like you. They have feelings and a working brain, just like you.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Depends on if they are playing me out. I've hung out and drank or smoked weed with homeless people if they were authentic. If not they can fuck off and their evil can bring them suffering.
The same goes with anyone else, mainstream or street.
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I’d be much more likely to give money to someone trying to sell something or offering a service. They don’t even try anymore. Miss the old gas can routine.
I once had a gas can man try to sell me the same story twice in the parking lot of my job weeks apart from one another. "Yeah I came up with my wife and kids and we ran out of gas..."
I didn't fall for it the first time and the second time was pure enjoyment as he obviously didnt recognize me, so I got to witness his song and dance with "secret insider knowledge."
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Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
I don't usually give out money and if I saw that after saying the standard "sorry I don't have any cash" I would immediately nope the fuck out. I do get it and it makes sense for them to have but it gives me an icky feeling to actually hear about it.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
This isn’t the best approach necessarily, but it’s a feel-good thing: If they’re intercepting me as I go to a store, I refuse to give money, but offer to buy them something to eat inside (or whatever else they need). I hold to those promises and they’re generally grateful.
I also sometimes give money if someone isn’t actively accosting about it. It’s down to what I can afford, too.
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I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.
I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.
I live in Los Angeles, I see homeless people regularly and give regularly. When I don't have much money I don't give much, when I have more I give more. I actually specifically got the ATM and make sure to carry $5 and $20 bills specifically for this. I am lucky enough that I can afford to give what I do but I regularly give people$20.
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thanks for bringing some kindness to this thread. i’ve been meaning to go to the bank to get a bunch of fivers to hand out.
Definitely do it. It is a great feeling and helps them. Don't let the fear of being scammed prevent you from helping people.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I made it a personal rule that if I have a $5, it goes to whoever asks. I don't seek people out, but if it's asked, and I have that five dollar bill with me, it's theirs.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
alot of them lie to get money for drugs, they lie "oh i had a broken leg, or arm" but they are walking perfectly normally. i generally have to ignore them, also one time they came to a residential area once asking for some strange things.
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Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
that was an ISAIP episode, when DEE gave a sandwich to a homeless, he said the same thing.
