30M After divorce I got literally zero support from anyone, why?

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Thank you!

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Or the friends are space aliens. Or OP made it all up. Or you're just dreaming this and you have a life. So many possibilities!

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Same here. My ex husband told everyone that I cheated on him. I mean, considering the fact that nobody ever asked for my side of the story, I suppose they weren't really friends anyway.

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Because women get support for things like this while men don’t. Because equality = modern rights + old world preferential treatment.

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I told everyone she cheated on me too which backfired amazingly lol

She told everyone I requested an open relationship so it didn't count

Master manipulator

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Because we are the problem. Never them. It takes a decade of shitty treatment to be seen as the problem. Everyone expects you to keep on keeping on and quit complaining.

I only say this as being divorced for a decade now. My son lives with me since her Insanity is apparent to him. I get sympathy from my family now, but in the beginning I was on my own.

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That reads very incel-ish..

Yes, we don't have true equality yet, and your analysis seems correct at first glance. However, women still have it worse, believe me. A lot of medical research focuses on men and ignores women, they still don't get taken seriously in many fields of work, they still are the main victims of sexual assault, etc. All negative things applying to men that I can think of are things we are doing to ourselves. Like the ideal msculine image pushed in media is entirely due to men. No woman ever designed a stoic superhero with pure muscle and a sixpack.

Your assessment isn't incorrect, it just ignores why things are the way they are.

That being said, the situation sucks for OP and they deserve better friends.

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I mean, basically you failed to cultivate deep and meaningful relationships with other people is the problem. Did you ever open up to your friends about anything before your break up? Did they ever open up to you, or come to you with their problems? Did you have friends who were "your friends" who you often hung out with while she didn't?

I'm a guy. I have male friends. I would support them in an instant if they were going through a breakup. I would expect my male friends (and my female friends) to do the same. Is this rare or weird? I dunno. I'm just me. I don't have experience living anyone else's life. But I'd recommend finding some friends who can form a support network for you whether or not it is "normal". If it's normal, be normal. If it isn't, fuck being normal. Go be weird.

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Because Men aren't allowed to feel any emotion, and it's always our fault no matter what. Like how any type of masculinity is toxic and chivalry is considered rude or borderline SA.

And it's only getting worse.

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Every time I read about male loneliness, see it in my life in other men, I can only relate, as a woman.

I left a DV situation myself, and found no support anywhere. I ended up starting over in a town bout two hours away from where I knew, and it was literally just me and a baby for four years. Some weeks the only conversations I had with another adult were at work, ir standing at a cash register buying something. I had made one friend, but then she had to go and die. I just had no one to rely on or vent to.

One of the hardest times of my life. In '16 I remember messaging my brother, who at this point I honestly think just lost respect for me for being in a DV relationship, so he didn't talk to me much, we had once been close.
I remember asking him to come over one weekend, I had a grill and some food and beers, offered him money for gas as he lived an hour away. He told me weekends were girlfriend time (7 year relationship). So I explained I was really low, and no one I knew in my life had known me more than a year, I just would really like to laugh with somone who actually knows me, like my brother, and be like we used to and have a fun night.

He told me bluntly, he does not feel pity for people and he couldn't make it. So cold. I cried like you would when a close family member dies.

I'm watched my husband win the battle with his alcohol addiction. He had a low tolerance socializing before, it's only gotten worse with sobriety. He's picking up a hobby now, and after four years sober, maybe not making friends, but sharing a hobby with other dudes. I encourage him as much as I can to continue this.

I've met many men who keep social, but I've also seen many recluse themselves as they age, and it's nothing new.

I'm a woman, and I have felt gut wrenching loneliness for so many years of my life. My 30th birthday I tried to work overtime, but ended up leaving, going home to an empty house. When you can only spend $15 on frivious things, I chose vodka, cried myself dry on the bathroom floor, alone, for my birthday. No one messaged me. The guy I was dating didnt even know it was my birthday. I've had so many friends pass away too young, and yeah, I protect myself from hurt by not putting myself out there. Im greatful for my husband and son. Loneliness may appear in different ways in different genders, And the media may take that to the extremes. But loneliness is a human thing, it is not gendered

Im sorry OP isnt getting support, I for sure know that sucks. But at least you know whats real and whats not now. Fresh starts are liberating. This is your liberation, and a chance to remake your life in the way you want. I wish OP health and happiness

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That's messed up. I can't stand people who lie, I'm mad for you

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Well at one point i did suggest an open relationship but she didn't agree to it haha

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"nobody cares about a man's suffering"
This is simply untrue and I can't take your story seriously after reading this line, it does sound like youve begun to work on some stuff for yourself, but might be some more to go still. I still got shit,

I've watched nearly every man in my bloodline go down the shitty, self hating, misogynistic, alcoholic poor me sad life cycle my entire life.
It saddens me most that a lot of these guys had/have great parts about them but choose not to work out their demons, go to a therapist or take accountability for their own actions.

It saddens me the most to watch a man go through life feeling alone, ashamed, and unable to talk about how he is feeling. To watch them chose "masculine" coping, ie: drinking beer and whiskey, while making wife bad jokes and watching action movies to drown out the brain noise.
I breifly dated a man who told me he didnt like looking in the mirror because he hated himself so much it made him want to punch the mirror, so he just avoided the mirror. He never went to therapy but came home with a six pack of beer everyday from work religiously. It's fucking sad, and I hope that guy is doing better today.

And to mention, easily a third of the men I have dated/known/or were family, as young boys, were raped. They just stuff it and live with it. No one talks about how often boys are raped by other men, men they are supposed to trust, and they just go on with life internalizing that shit. Its fucked. Dare I say we need a men's me too? Even one guy I dated at one point told me his adopted father had raped him when he was 12, but it only happened once so he forgave it. They acted like a happy family outside of this. My jaw fucking dropped. Then you see the maladaptive habit, he was the type who didn't wash his ass because it could make you gay.
Everytime I hear someone making a joke about a man who doesn't wash his ass, I no longer think it's funny. I think he might have been raped as a child. Imo we need larger discourse about it, because the pattern can repeat. Internalized shame is poisen.

It all feels out of my control so I just try and do what I can for the people close to me. All in all, It's okay to make mistakes, its okay to be wrong, a lot of people, all people, many of them struggle admitting they were wrong. It's also not your fault if you were put in a vulnerable situation. It's not a sign of weakness. A lot of time thats the only ticket to a demon free brain is just accepted its okay to make mistakes and be wrong, and its not your fault if a bad thing happened to you as an actual victim.

No one cares about men's mental health, that's ridiculous.
I was 13 years old giving my 40 year old alcoholic father pep talks on how to manage his emotions for christsake. Lmao I really thought I could help him then. I could not-

I have always cared, and many other women do too. But no one knows whats going on unless you use your voice. I've watched so many men suffer over the years. It pains me as much as anyone elses suffering, if not more because yall don't build networks for yourself and often it doesn't feel safe for you to express yourselves, and thats tragic.

I see this rhetoric all the time online and I will fiercely express, I am a woman, and I care. There are others who care too, stop spreading nonsense.

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Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with?

Those "two" possibilities might actually just be the same thing. This is what guys deal with BECAUSE people are shitty.

People generally don't go around looking to help others. People look for ways to make themselves feel better. People with a mantra of helping others may or may not be doing so, but they continue because it is helping them fill a hole in themselves.

I've never divorced, but I have had breakups, and I got over them by embracing the hobbies I had before (in my case, programming). That might not be a lot but it's a start.

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Honestly, I think you got to kill yourself on the inside or be a republican. And its better to die then be a republican. I keep being told the left cares about my feelings, but they only care about the ones they want me to have and not the ones I do have.

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Bro. We’re men. No one cares about us or our feelings. When you come to grips with that. You can explore more self healing directions to go. No one wants to hear about our problems. Also. Your friends are not friends. Find new people if you can.

Trust me. After my ex cheated on me and left me. I felt like death for years.

BUT! It definitely will get better one morning. Just keep your chin up. Brush off the anxiety and go out and see the world.

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Reps and Dems are so far gone that neither care about each other. I was a conservative when I was in the Army, but watching the left and the right battle each other recently, I've been slipping towards the moderate side.
Just don't want to affiliate with either and just live in the middle of nowhere.

I know I troll a lot on here but I just want to get these emotions out and get a different perspective on things.

My psychiatrist tells me that I need to open up more, but I feel that if I do, I'd just explode.

Oh well. No need to spill that on here. Whoops.

*Also, Republicans aren't that bad. Democrats are just as bad from a different direction. At some point, they're just Nazis pointing at each other with how far apart they are.

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Go try telling people about your experience with being an SA victim. My experience is basically a bunch of people telling me about how women have it worse or even accusations of lying. Your counter argument is focused on the past or around conservatives. Liberals should know better.

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..the plot thickens lol

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This happened to me with a good friend. He wanted to stop listening, and admittedly I was on repeat (severe depression, major life changes coming and I couldn't cope properly) - but it has the effect of drifting us pretty severely.

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30M After divorce I got literally zero support from anyone, why?