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What strict parents actually teach

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  • D [email protected]

    deleted by creator

    chefdano3@lemmy.zipC This user is from outside of this forum
    chefdano3@lemmy.zipC This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #112

    If anyone catches you, just explain your parents were depraved and totally into that kinda thing, so you're honoring them in a way they'd appreciate.

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    • H [email protected]

      You had a cell phone as a child? Musta been nice. I had no door on my bedroom doorframe and wasn't aloud out of the house except under rare circumstances.

      Didn't mean I was willing to follow the rules. All that strictness caused me to simply rebel to all authority figures. Seriously, ask me my opinions about police or the government. Lol.

      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #113

      Eh, not as a kid. I got a phone in high school once I got my driver’s license. But yeah, parents are a blast, huh?

      How are you feeling about cops and the government these days?

      H 1 Reply Last reply
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      • dakralter@thelemmy.clubD [email protected]

        I'm having the exact same issue. Never taught me any life skills. My mum was told by the GP to get me tested for aspergers (as it was then) when I was 15, and she sat on that for over 10 years. Meanwhile I grew up hating myself for not being able to do things that my peers could. Things got worse when I had to get a job and I didn't have the social knowledge to pass interviews. My self esteem got worse, my anxiety ruled my life. I would keep attracting men who treated me like dirt and I couldn't let go because I was so desperate for someone to love and accept me.

        She passed away three months ago and now my dad wants to kick me out and I have no freaking idea how to survive in the adult world. I don't know how to go about renting or setting up utilities, I struggle with navigation so my fear of getting lost stops me going places. I'm going to have to leave London because I can't afford a place here. All I get is, when are you moving out? Dad wants to sell the house. It's not fair to deprive your sisters of their share of the house. No offers of help. No acknowledgement that decades of my mum wrapping me in cotton wool and controlling me has left me dysfunctional.

        T This user is from outside of this forum
        T This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote on last edited by
        #114

        Similar story here. It really sucks to feel like I'm still learning how to be a functional adult. I hope you keep making progress and celebrate all the little victories along the way.

        dakralter@thelemmy.clubD 1 Reply Last reply
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        • C [email protected]
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          Z This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote on last edited by
          #115

          My mom was barely there on medication and my father just wasn't. It was cool to be able to do whatever I wanted, but I had to make sure Mom fell asleep on her side.

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          • P [email protected]

            how huge of a difference?

            I This user is from outside of this forum
            I This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #116

            It basically comes down to:

            My parents: do it or I’ll kick your ass

            My wife and I: please do it, here are the reasons for us asking and if you do it you get positive attention and possibly a physical reward.

            If you don’t do it, we talk about why and we listen to the reasons they give and adjust our parenting style if necessary based on their feedback.

            They then go and do it.

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            • N [email protected]

              No one is going to react to the fact that they have a furry pfp and their handle is "BugCatcherWill"?

              I get that people are eager to air their grievances with their parents, but do you really think this guy is talking about the same thing you are? Methinks there's a good reason their parents kept a close eye on them.

              N This user is from outside of this forum
              N This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #117

              Btw, for the happily unaware: The term "Bug catching" does generally not refer to catching insects, he's not an entomologists. The bugs he's catching are the kind you do not want to catch, if you catch my drift.

              S 1 Reply Last reply
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              • T [email protected]

                Similar story here. It really sucks to feel like I'm still learning how to be a functional adult. I hope you keep making progress and celebrate all the little victories along the way.

                dakralter@thelemmy.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                dakralter@thelemmy.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                #118

                I do wonder how different if have turned out if I'd had just one person tell me there's a medical reason for why I struggle. That I'm not a failure or useless or stupid, I just struggle in a world not designed for me.

                Since December, my almost 15 year old budgie died, I finally ended things for good with my toxic ex, my mum has passed away (I still love and miss her, her overprotective behaviour was from her own childhood trauma), my dad wanting me out and now I'm being made redundant again. I feel like everything is pointing me in the direction of moving away, but it's hard when no one showed me how. But maybe I can finally be in control of my own life. It's just very very scary taking those first steps.

                Edit: your username sounds British (my a makes me look American, but I'm just a weird British baseball fangirl). If I figure things out, I'd be happy to share my wisdom.

                I was thinking if no one's done it already, if I learn to be an adult, I could write a full guide for how to adult for us neurodivergent folk and others who were left behind.

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                • C [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote on last edited by
                  #119

                  Great lessons for the underpaid and overworked workforce though.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • N [email protected]

                    Btw, for the happily unaware: The term "Bug catching" does generally not refer to catching insects, he's not an entomologists. The bugs he's catching are the kind you do not want to catch, if you catch my drift.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote on last edited by
                    #120

                    Neat thing that you know, there!

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                    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksS [email protected]

                      Well, no, it doesn't mean that. That is one meaning out of a solid eight or nine, depending on what dictionary you use.

                      Also, seems like you're being pretty strict about what it and isn't strict. If you're that inflexible about that, what else are you inflexible about?

                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #121

                      Yes it does mean that. People who call themselves strict parents are happy to have power over their children in everything.

                      No idea why you try to change the topic. I am inflexible about a lot of things. About hitting children for example, shouldnt do that.

                      About politics. Shouldnt be a fascist.

                      About human rights. Shouldnt be questioned.

                      southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksS 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • C [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                        R This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote on last edited by
                        #122

                        So basically how to operate in most of the jobs I've ever had

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                        • C [email protected]

                          Eh, not as a kid. I got a phone in high school once I got my driver’s license. But yeah, parents are a blast, huh?

                          How are you feeling about cops and the government these days?

                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #123

                          Acab. Fuck the police. Luigi for president. Lol.

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                          • D [email protected]

                            Yes it does mean that. People who call themselves strict parents are happy to have power over their children in everything.

                            No idea why you try to change the topic. I am inflexible about a lot of things. About hitting children for example, shouldnt do that.

                            About politics. Shouldnt be a fascist.

                            About human rights. Shouldnt be questioned.

                            southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                            southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #124

                            Dude. Whatever.

                            D 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksS [email protected]

                              Dude. Whatever.

                              D This user is from outside of this forum
                              D This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote on last edited by
                              #125

                              lol you asked. Now dont cry.

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                              • whotookkarl@lemmy.worldW [email protected]

                                Jeff Goldblum impersonator

                                N This user is from outside of this forum
                                N This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote on last edited by
                                #126

                                Just when we needed one!

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