How to talk some sense into my daughter regarding a scam university?
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Try to have a conversation around what this diploma "unlocks" in her life that she wants. If all she needs are a diploma to flash while witching, there are cheaper diploma mills that take less time.
Edit: Reading back it sounds like I'm being light-hearted about this. I'm not really. At some point children are adults that make bad choices that are out of your control, and the best you can do as a parent is to not alienate them by trying to prevent it but help them think things through.
That's not the same as encouraging bad decisions, but accepting them. In a year or two that thinking may be what they need to make better choices, and they will still trust you to talk things through.
I run a yet-to-be-accredited diploma for a degree in applied horse reiki if anyone wants. My course syllabus is just one sentence long:
- Don't approach the horse from behind.
All degrees are issued under a pseudonym so as to stay off the radar of the Horse Reiki Mafia.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
I think a lot of people are looking for a way out at the moment. Keep in mind, a college degree carries far less weight than it used to, and the majority of graduates are ending up in non-graduate roles. As such, college later in life might be a better option.
Why not play a different hand - find her somewhere local to work that covers that "field" so she can follow her interests. At the least, she'll pick up some transferrable skills, and won't be digging herself into debt. Worst comes to worst she enters that field with a job rather than debt (you can't stop a hurricane) - it's no worse than being a priest really.
Your partner needs a reality check - most men are not looking to be a provider, they're looking for a partner. To be very blunt, unless your daughter has won the genetic lottery, she's going to have to work for a living (like the rest of us).
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I run a yet-to-be-accredited diploma for a degree in applied horse reiki if anyone wants. My course syllabus is just one sentence long:
- Don't approach the horse from behind.
All degrees are issued under a pseudonym so as to stay off the radar of the Horse Reiki Mafia.
Does your diploma come with gold embossed lettering and a red stamp? If so I'm in.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Sounds like this might go well beyond a university choice at this point. Sorry.
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And my daughter is sooo obsessed with him. She takes everything he says at face value. Like saying “if daddy couldn’t take care of me anymore I’ll just find a man to take care of me the way daddy does” - basically a variation of what my husband told me too. Very flower power carefree energy.
that's not flower power that's just misogyny! your husband has taught your daughter to be misogynistic towards herself. i think you need a long conversation with her, you need to disillusion her from the promises of "simplicity" of such worldview, because if anything happens to make her less than perfect for "a man like daddy" then she's going to be left helpless and unable to take care of herself in the long run. and even if she finds a man to take care of her - she will be then stuck with him no matter who he turns out to be
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And my daughter is sooo obsessed with him. She takes everything he says at face value. Like saying “if daddy couldn’t take care of me anymore I’ll just find a man to take care of me the way daddy does” - basically a variation of what my husband told me too. Very flower power carefree energy.
This is the problem, not the university.
Perhaps you could talk to your husband about how she is being set up to to be completely dependent on some man who may abuse her and she will be unable to independent escape.
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Does your diploma come with gold embossed lettering and a red stamp? If so I'm in.
It does now
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Seems like you to talk some sense into your husband first. There's no point in saying "this is stupid" while acting "I'll support you unconditionally".
Ideally you'd discourage her in this decission and not support her financially. If she really wants to do it, she can pay for it herself. There is not much you can do about that, except discourage it. But you can't do that as parents unless you're both on the same page.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
wrote last edited by [email protected]how did she get this idea into her head in the first place?
one of the worst life ruining decisions a student can make is to rack up student debt, with no means to pay it off after graduation.
look at graduation statistics if they publish it. what is the employment rate and median salary of graduates?
Is the total cost comparable to the median starting salary?
if taking sense into ur daughter isn't possible, then maybe reason with ur husband based on finances?
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Lmao, let her go, it'll be hilarious. You lot sound like real fun.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Sounds like your husband might be a prick.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
It sounds like you should have started intervening in this situation YEARS ago. Now it's coming to a head and you don't have any influence at all, because you didn't claim your role in this family when you should have. Now it's too late.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
100% agree this is a conversion with your husband. From the comments, what even is the point of her going to any college if theres a chance shell just drop out and stick you with debt and nothing to show for it?
What I will say that diverges from most others is that while this school might be a scam, this aspect of the "wellness industry" has existed for millennia. Interest in holistic whatever isn't exactly a career death sentence. Your daughter might very well make good money selling herbs and crystals to wealthy white ladies.
IMO, this is a conversion with your husband and then daughter asking her to sell you all on why she's going to college and for what. With the alternative being charging her rent or something else intended to have her leave the nest. She likely sees this school as having no accountability because as long as the checks clear, she'll be enrolled.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Check how they got their accreditation. It's possible to just buy a struggling accredited school these days and just keep their accreditation and completely change the curriculum.
Also ask them for employment and income statistics of their graduates. If they don't have them that's a red flag you can bring up.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Wow, you married that kind of person?
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100% agree this is a conversion with your husband. From the comments, what even is the point of her going to any college if theres a chance shell just drop out and stick you with debt and nothing to show for it?
What I will say that diverges from most others is that while this school might be a scam, this aspect of the "wellness industry" has existed for millennia. Interest in holistic whatever isn't exactly a career death sentence. Your daughter might very well make good money selling herbs and crystals to wealthy white ladies.
IMO, this is a conversion with your husband and then daughter asking her to sell you all on why she's going to college and for what. With the alternative being charging her rent or something else intended to have her leave the nest. She likely sees this school as having no accountability because as long as the checks clear, she'll be enrolled.
There won’t be any debt. As I mentioned, husband is paying in full for college.
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I almost fell for something similar. Right before enrolling I decided to go on a deeper dive and I found ample evidence of it being a diploma mill without any value whatsoever. Saved me a lot of grief.
Dude two of the colleges I toured when I was a high schooler ended up shutting down and losing their accreditation. Only reason I didn't attend either of them was my parents told me they were too expensive and I was just a high schooler with zero concept of money who had yet to work at all (and honestly I had a bunch of other contributing problems but that's well outside of the scope of this discussion)
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There won’t be any debt. As I mentioned, husband is paying in full for college.
OK, but so he's basically paying for adult day care if she quits before graduating?
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Lmao, let her go, it'll be hilarious. You lot sound like real fun.
Always validating to see users live up to the tag I gave them
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
"she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
He is still wrong then. He is about a thousand years too late with this view.
