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  3. The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind

The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind

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  • K [email protected]

    Great post.

    To add to this, not resorting to calling others tankies or Russian bots when you have differing opinions, especially around politics.

    cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
    cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #74

    1 billion percent agree, not everyone you disagree with is acting in bad faith

    J 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

      The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

      On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

      • Be kind

      • Ask people what they think, and why

      • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

      • Engage sincerely

      • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

      • Make this small space worth being in

      A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

      Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

      The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

      openstars@piefed.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
      openstars@piefed.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #75

      Lemmy has a well-known reputation as being a "Nazi bar". e.g. as mentioned in this example post in r/RedditAlternatives complaining about toxicity on Lemmy, here is one of the comments therein (not from OP but as part of the overall conversation):

      If their experience is anything like mine, it’s populated by mostly far left wing Americans who were banned from Reddit for being too extreme. I disagreed with someone about a topical left wing American position and received death threats. In fact I’ve never received that many death threats on Reddit. Lemmy is extreme.

      Even if the threats came from Hexbear or one of the lemmy.ml mods who are allowed to make death threats against users without any repercussions, "we" still expose "our" users to such content when we federate with those communities. i.e., for exactly the same reason that we defederate from instances that share CSAM, if we really, truly, genuinely don't like it when mods make death threats against users, then we need to put a stop to it - by defederating those instances that are known to do exactly that.

      Otherwise we give our tacit approval, and moreover whenever we encourage people to join Lemmy instances, we willingly expose those people to this kind of content. Would you expose someone to CSAM, knowingly and without warning them first? Then why is it different when we can see the death threats, delivered by mods, who are not censured in any way, yet still encourage people to come here to Lemmy communities? Are we truly that desperate for content that we are so inconsiderate to them as to expose them to that without warning?

      If you somehow have not heard of this yet and really don't know what I'm talking about, a lot of details are offered in Discuss.Online's (successful) Petition to defederate from hexbear.net, although that particular mod in question is from Lemmy.ml.

      blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB D J 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

        The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

        On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

        • Be kind

        • Ask people what they think, and why

        • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

        • Engage sincerely

        • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

        • Make this small space worth being in

        A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

        Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

        The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

        vanilla_puddinfudge@infosec.pubV This user is from outside of this forum
        vanilla_puddinfudge@infosec.pubV This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #76

        A lot of people dive in as if the entire fediverse has the same level of nerve as 4chan.

        There are a lot of sensitive people here. The best thing I learned through my dealings with Mastodon is to be kind, and lurk before hitting that comment button.

        The level of discord on the fediverse waxes and wanes depending where you are. There are conversations I'd never have here, that I'd gladly have elsewhere with no ill effects. The right words for the right group of people.

        G 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • openstars@piefed.socialO [email protected]

          Lemmy has a well-known reputation as being a "Nazi bar". e.g. as mentioned in this example post in r/RedditAlternatives complaining about toxicity on Lemmy, here is one of the comments therein (not from OP but as part of the overall conversation):

          If their experience is anything like mine, it’s populated by mostly far left wing Americans who were banned from Reddit for being too extreme. I disagreed with someone about a topical left wing American position and received death threats. In fact I’ve never received that many death threats on Reddit. Lemmy is extreme.

          Even if the threats came from Hexbear or one of the lemmy.ml mods who are allowed to make death threats against users without any repercussions, "we" still expose "our" users to such content when we federate with those communities. i.e., for exactly the same reason that we defederate from instances that share CSAM, if we really, truly, genuinely don't like it when mods make death threats against users, then we need to put a stop to it - by defederating those instances that are known to do exactly that.

          Otherwise we give our tacit approval, and moreover whenever we encourage people to join Lemmy instances, we willingly expose those people to this kind of content. Would you expose someone to CSAM, knowingly and without warning them first? Then why is it different when we can see the death threats, delivered by mods, who are not censured in any way, yet still encourage people to come here to Lemmy communities? Are we truly that desperate for content that we are so inconsiderate to them as to expose them to that without warning?

          If you somehow have not heard of this yet and really don't know what I'm talking about, a lot of details are offered in Discuss.Online's (successful) Petition to defederate from hexbear.net, although that particular mod in question is from Lemmy.ml.

          blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB This user is from outside of this forum
          blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #77

          The user you quoted said they would also try Piefed: https://old.reddit.com/r/RedditAlternatives/comments/1jqvq6k/looking_for_reddit_alts_that_are_not_lemmy/mlbvone/

          Isn't being federated with HB nowadays more the exception that the rule?

          IIRC,

          • LW
          • SJW
          • lemmy.ca
          • sopuli.xyz
          • Blahaj
          • programming.dev
          • feddit.org

          Are defederated

          openstars@piefed.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB [email protected]

            The user you quoted said they would also try Piefed: https://old.reddit.com/r/RedditAlternatives/comments/1jqvq6k/looking_for_reddit_alts_that_are_not_lemmy/mlbvone/

            Isn't being federated with HB nowadays more the exception that the rule?

            IIRC,

            • LW
            • SJW
            • lemmy.ca
            • sopuli.xyz
            • Blahaj
            • programming.dev
            • feddit.org

            Are defederated

            openstars@piefed.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
            openstars@piefed.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #78

            That's great!

            I was just talking with an admin of Lemmy.zip who automatically puts up a community muting of HB for new users joining that instance, but not going so far as to defederate from it. So... that surely helps a little bit? Except when Hexbears brigade a community located on a different instance.

            But the example I gave of a mod throwing out death threats to users involves lemmy.ml rather than Hexbear. Both instances are problematic in that regard, ML mostly for the admins and the mods that they choose to protect, while HB the subset of users that go outside of the instance to engage in trolling. In both, it is also entirely possible to have completely sane and normal conversations on the instance itself, which muddies the waters a bit, though the presence of sanity on occasion does not negate the presence of insanity on others.

            And I was thinking of editing my comment but instead I'll put it here, your own posts such as https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditAlternatives/comments/1fmuk7o/post_to_address_the_usual_criticism_about_lemmy/ most definitely covers both the strong benefits as well as strong criticisms of using Lemmy, as well as solid solutions to the latter problems.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

              The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

              On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

              • Be kind

              • Ask people what they think, and why

              • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

              • Engage sincerely

              • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

              • Make this small space worth being in

              A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

              Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

              The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

              R This user is from outside of this forum
              R This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #79

              !lemmysilver

              Lemmy is filled with too much hate, hopefully things can change

              ? cris_color@lemmy.worldC 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • R [email protected]

                !lemmysilver

                Lemmy is filled with too much hate, hopefully things can change

                ? Offline
                ? Offline
                Guest
                wrote on last edited by
                #80

                Thank you for voting. You can vote again in 24 hours. leaderboard

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                  Lol. Porn does make the internet go round

                  I already did that, but not on this account >.>

                  tourist@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                  tourist@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #81

                  expose your fetishes

                  now

                  you have no choice

                  gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG cris_color@lemmy.worldC 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                    The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

                    On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

                    • Be kind

                    • Ask people what they think, and why

                    • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

                    • Engage sincerely

                    • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

                    • Make this small space worth being in

                    A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

                    Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

                    The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

                    blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB This user is from outside of this forum
                    blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #82

                    !lemmysilver

                    ? 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • blaze@lemmy.dbzer0.comB [email protected]

                      !lemmysilver

                      ? Offline
                      ? Offline
                      Guest
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #83

                      Thank you for voting. You can vote again in 24 hours. leaderboard

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W [email protected]

                        The last time I went to Reddit, I felt like everyone was trying to pick a fight, and would jump on me for any tiny reason.

                        No point being part of a community like that, the whole place is a dumpster fire, but if everyone is either trolling or turning on each other, it's much worse.

                        I hope as Lemmy gets more popular, it doesn't inherit those problems.

                        gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zoneG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zoneG This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #84

                        I'd say there's also some corners of Lemmy that feel like the slightest provocation leads to an absolute dog pile of people being super angry looking for a fight.

                        That aspect blows but it's usually helped by making sure that the instance your account is on is federated (or specifically NOT federated) with specific other instances.

                        Though this place is so much more chill than Reddit it's fucking mindblowing

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                          The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

                          On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

                          • Be kind

                          • Ask people what they think, and why

                          • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

                          • Engage sincerely

                          • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

                          • Make this small space worth being in

                          A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

                          Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

                          The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

                          profael@feddit.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                          profael@feddit.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #85

                          I started using Lemmy just recently. I haven't seen any sexism here so far. On reddit it's a matter of minutes until something sexist appears on my feed, or other hateful stuff. That's why I feel way more relaxed using Lemmy.

                          gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • H [email protected]

                            Also try to post stuff. I need to follow my own advice more.

                            gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zoneG This user is from outside of this forum
                            gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zoneG This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #86

                            And not just memes and shitposts you find elsewhere

                            Make things and share

                            It ain't gonna be perfect but that's half the fun

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                              The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

                              On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

                              • Be kind

                              • Ask people what they think, and why

                              • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

                              • Engage sincerely

                              • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

                              • Make this small space worth being in

                              A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

                              Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

                              The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #87

                              I have a couple of suggestions to add:

                              I was considering leaving the other site before the API fiasco because it felt like so many users approach engagement as rhetorical combat, that is, one commenter will win and one will lose. Instead, think one of Covey's habits of highly-effective people: "Win-win, or no deal." Approach discussion on the Fediverse as a collaborative act, in which you're exchanging ideas with another person. Even if you disagree, you can both win by respectfully hearing it out the other person. And if the other person won't collaborate? No deal! Just disengage.

                              Just like in intimate relationship, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. Telling people who they are and what they believe is not only disrespectful, but probably wrong, often exaggerated or distorted for rhetorical combat purposes. People get angry when their identity gets poked at. One exception, of course, is when giving advice, like, stick to what you know, and share your thoughts and your reactions to a topic.

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • misk@sopuli.xyzM [email protected]

                                It did not impact this thread at all before this comment which was my point exactly.

                                banana@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
                                banana@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #88

                                I definitely saw several comments that strike me as political, which is exactly my point, everyone has a different definition.

                                When every aspect of your life is affected by politics, everything is political.

                                misk@sopuli.xyzM 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                  The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

                                  On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

                                  • Be kind

                                  • Ask people what they think, and why

                                  • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

                                  • Engage sincerely

                                  • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

                                  • Make this small space worth being in

                                  A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

                                  Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

                                  The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

                                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #89

                                  Sounds more like a Showerthought, but I'm going to allow it.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • K [email protected]

                                    Great post.

                                    To add to this, not resorting to calling others tankies or Russian bots when you have differing opinions, especially around politics.

                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #90

                                    I came to Lemmy (lemm.ee originally) with this attitude. Tankies really made me regret trying to be sympathetic too them. It was the most vile interaction I've had on the Internet maybe? You shouldn't call people tankies if they're not but real tankies are by far the biggest problem with the fediverse and it's growth

                                    gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • openstars@piefed.socialO [email protected]

                                      Lemmy has a well-known reputation as being a "Nazi bar". e.g. as mentioned in this example post in r/RedditAlternatives complaining about toxicity on Lemmy, here is one of the comments therein (not from OP but as part of the overall conversation):

                                      If their experience is anything like mine, it’s populated by mostly far left wing Americans who were banned from Reddit for being too extreme. I disagreed with someone about a topical left wing American position and received death threats. In fact I’ve never received that many death threats on Reddit. Lemmy is extreme.

                                      Even if the threats came from Hexbear or one of the lemmy.ml mods who are allowed to make death threats against users without any repercussions, "we" still expose "our" users to such content when we federate with those communities. i.e., for exactly the same reason that we defederate from instances that share CSAM, if we really, truly, genuinely don't like it when mods make death threats against users, then we need to put a stop to it - by defederating those instances that are known to do exactly that.

                                      Otherwise we give our tacit approval, and moreover whenever we encourage people to join Lemmy instances, we willingly expose those people to this kind of content. Would you expose someone to CSAM, knowingly and without warning them first? Then why is it different when we can see the death threats, delivered by mods, who are not censured in any way, yet still encourage people to come here to Lemmy communities? Are we truly that desperate for content that we are so inconsiderate to them as to expose them to that without warning?

                                      If you somehow have not heard of this yet and really don't know what I'm talking about, a lot of details are offered in Discuss.Online's (successful) Petition to defederate from hexbear.net, although that particular mod in question is from Lemmy.ml.

                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #91

                                      I had pretty much the same experience as that user and it's why I left lemm.ee when they decided not to defederate with some of the worst instances. Was about to go back to the search if lemmy.world wasn't any better. Tankies are why I don't recommend Lemmy to my friends anymore. They are the fediverse's biggest problem

                                      openstars@piefed.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • banana@sh.itjust.worksB [email protected]

                                        I definitely saw several comments that strike me as political, which is exactly my point, everyone has a different definition.

                                        When every aspect of your life is affected by politics, everything is political.

                                        misk@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        misk@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #92

                                        There are now, this one was the first.

                                        banana@sh.itjust.worksB 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                          Lol. Porn does make the internet go round

                                          I already did that, but not on this account >.>

                                          stroz@infosec.pubS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          stroz@infosec.pubS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #93

                                          Multiple accounts are a must!

                                          ...or so I've been told

                                          Y 1 Reply Last reply
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