Have your parents ever said something so unhinged that you’re just left standing there like🧍♂️?
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My mother telling me I should not think that she makes any money with me. (Backstory: Was living with her, dad paid
alimonychild support). I was baffled, because even when I lowkey suspected that, it was not even a relevant thing for our conversation at this time.A few years later, when I wanted to move out for studying it was suddendly a problem, because she could not make the full payments for her house without the
alimonychild supprt from my dad. So I stayed.Some more years down the line I finally wanted to move out, as I had a full time job in sight and wanted to live with my boyfriend. I was in my mid-twenties. Basically the conversation was the same as before, she could not pay for her house without me. She could not answer my question how she thought this would work out. Was she expecting me to live with her until she paid for the house? Because this would be up until my forties, maybe longer.
The house is not big enough for two families, so it was never an option for me and my bf to move in. Of course I moved out.Child support would happen if you lived with one parent and the other parent pays.
Alimony (as far as I know) has nothing to do with having a kid there or not.
So I’m not sure why her alimony would change if you move out. It would change if she got remarried.
Alimony, also known as spousal support or spousal maintenance, is a court-ordered financial payment made from one spouse to another during or after a divorce. Its purpose is to help the recipient maintain a similar standard of living to what they had during the marriage. The amount and duration of alimony are determined by a judge based on various factors, including the length of the marriage, the financial circumstances of both spouses, and their ability to support themselves (this paragraph copied from Google).
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Mine hit me with the “We're spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”
I had moved away a few years and my mother was homeless due to her own choices and lack of effort to do anything. My wife and I were in town visiting her family, and we decided to take my mother out to dinner. During the meal she was (rightly) complaining about the perils of being homeless and having to watch out for the pigs. I suggested that she look into getting into some government housing. You know her response?
"I don't want to be the light in he dark."
If you're as confused as I pretended I was, she means she didn't want to live with/around black people. Which was really fucking surprising to me, considering we had lived with, around, and had been friends with all kinds of POC growing up (as you you tend to do in poor and mixed neighborhoods and when you have to rent out rooms to get by). That level of racism was rather surprising, but she had become toxic as fuck in the years before I moved, so it shouldn't have been.
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Sounds like she wanted you to get a house, so she can move in for free. She's probably claiming you as a dependant, or using you to get more money from alimony or the state if you were living with her
Actually the plan for giving me the house included that she would move out. But she wanted to be imprecise in how I/We would pay her back for the amount she already payed for the house. Switched back and forth inbetween money and/or getting to live with us sooner or later (so basically what you say). She also did not say how much money we would then owe her and wanted to let that open specifically, which could basically result in us paying the left amount (which we should have done in her name, she wanted us to pay HER the amount every month so that then she would pay the bank) plus "rent" to her endlessly.
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Child support would happen if you lived with one parent and the other parent pays.
Alimony (as far as I know) has nothing to do with having a kid there or not.
So I’m not sure why her alimony would change if you move out. It would change if she got remarried.
Alimony, also known as spousal support or spousal maintenance, is a court-ordered financial payment made from one spouse to another during or after a divorce. Its purpose is to help the recipient maintain a similar standard of living to what they had during the marriage. The amount and duration of alimony are determined by a judge based on various factors, including the length of the marriage, the financial circumstances of both spouses, and their ability to support themselves (this paragraph copied from Google).
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Ah sorry, this was an phrasing error on my side. I meant child Support! Will correct that.
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It’s brutal when the mask inevitably comes off and you realise that your parents, who were once like gods, are in fact retarded.
Slightly tangential, but it's beyond any reason that her and my dad can read the exact same Bible and parse different meanings from it. My dad is the least judgmental, least preachy Christian I know. She missed the memo, it seems.
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Slightly tangential, but it's beyond any reason that her and my dad can read the exact same Bible and parse different meanings from it. My dad is the least judgmental, least preachy Christian I know. She missed the memo, it seems.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]45,000 + denominations of Christianity. Bound to be one or two differences.
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Mine hit me with the “We're spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”
When I was little, I did something bad (I don't even remember what it was), and my mom got angry with me about it, and I was already crying, and I asked her "Do you still love me?" and she said "I don't know", and that shit has stuck with me forever and I'm sure contributes to the fact that I don't truly trust anyone. If I brought it up to her now, she'd 100% deny it.
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Ah sorry, this was an phrasing error on my side. I meant child Support! Will correct that.
No problem on the phrasing.
I've seen things like what you describe where the parent was using the child support in that manner. Becomes a real problem when the kid leaves home. Always interesting when the one paying child support stops the payment to the ex and starts giving it to the kid (because they are going to college). Suddenly the kid sees who's really helping and who isn't.
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Reading through this I totally get why the world is the way it is.
Most people are actually really fucking dumb.
Fifty percent of people are dumber than the average. Of course a much smaller percentage are REALLY effing dumb.
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Mine hit me with the “We're spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”
"I love you, but I don't always like you"
Cool. Thanks. Feels just amazing.
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Fifty percent of people are dumber than the average. Of course a much smaller percentage are REALLY effing dumb.
There's a plurality of people clustering around 100 though, which is why it's the baseline IQ.
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LOL, that's not even scripturally correct. He doesn't know his own faith!
This is common, and really sad when you think about it, because their faith is their "single most important thing" in life & they're so damn ignorant of it. Like...it's one book. Read it, if you are so inclined?There is only one sin earmarked as the eternal sin, the unforgivable sin. Explicitly described in Matthew 12:30–32, alluded to in other relevant passages. "Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit". Even blasphemy against the Son of Man (Jesus) will be forgiven...but never the Holy Spirit. Because it's simply too big of a contradiction or discrepancy in how the Christian faith operates & how one is saved. You have the "power of the Holy Spirit" working through you, working with Christ & God the Father on your behalf. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is largely interpreted as to deny that very power, the power that saves.
It is akin to needing hydration, but refusing to drink large amounts of any kind of liquid ever. Or needing an electrical charge to run a device, but never making a connection to transfer the power, you're going to somehow "will" or speak the power into your phone. Well. That's simply not how it works, and you'll never have power.
I only explain to provide clarity of the Christian faith to others, I do not profess the faith present day, it has taken 25 years of my life. Others are welcome to comment, of course, but I'm not here to argue endlessly over "how many angels can dance on the point of a very fine needle". As they say, and have done before, and has since morphed more colloquially into "on the head of a pin".
I believe the "angels on the head of a pin" were Victorian scholars parodying the medieval debates they were studying at the time. It's somewhat unfair because the mediaval scholars are much more sophisticated than that but the parody has endured.
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LOL, that's not even scripturally correct. He doesn't know his own faith!
This is common, and really sad when you think about it, because their faith is their "single most important thing" in life & they're so damn ignorant of it. Like...it's one book. Read it, if you are so inclined?There is only one sin earmarked as the eternal sin, the unforgivable sin. Explicitly described in Matthew 12:30–32, alluded to in other relevant passages. "Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit". Even blasphemy against the Son of Man (Jesus) will be forgiven...but never the Holy Spirit. Because it's simply too big of a contradiction or discrepancy in how the Christian faith operates & how one is saved. You have the "power of the Holy Spirit" working through you, working with Christ & God the Father on your behalf. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is largely interpreted as to deny that very power, the power that saves.
It is akin to needing hydration, but refusing to drink large amounts of any kind of liquid ever. Or needing an electrical charge to run a device, but never making a connection to transfer the power, you're going to somehow "will" or speak the power into your phone. Well. That's simply not how it works, and you'll never have power.
I only explain to provide clarity of the Christian faith to others, I do not profess the faith present day, it has taken 25 years of my life. Others are welcome to comment, of course, but I'm not here to argue endlessly over "how many angels can dance on the point of a very fine needle". As they say, and have done before, and has since morphed more colloquially into "on the head of a pin".
Damn, I've never blasphemed that one. I may die and end up in heaven due to my religious upbringing. Can't have that...
FUCK THE HOLY SPIRIT
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As they got more and more out there on pre-MAGA conservative media, the unhinged hits just kept on coming. But probably the most unhinged was their belief that "90 percent of Black males are in a gang." Sad.
Had they said that about cops in the US, I would believe it.
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When I was little, I did something bad (I don't even remember what it was), and my mom got angry with me about it, and I was already crying, and I asked her "Do you still love me?" and she said "I don't know", and that shit has stuck with me forever and I'm sure contributes to the fact that I don't truly trust anyone. If I brought it up to her now, she'd 100% deny it.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]If I brought it up to her now, she’d 100% deny it
The axe forgets; the tree remembers. It's why we should be far, far more careful than we usually are about throwing around things like that.
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There's a plurality of people clustering around 100 though, which is why it's the baseline IQ.
The silent majority.
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No problem on the phrasing.
I've seen things like what you describe where the parent was using the child support in that manner. Becomes a real problem when the kid leaves home. Always interesting when the one paying child support stops the payment to the ex and starts giving it to the kid (because they are going to college). Suddenly the kid sees who's really helping and who isn't.
Exactly. For me it was relatively clear the older I got, as my father had to give me pocket money and pay for my extracuricullars on top of child support. I was not eating much (smallish, lean, not really sport oriented) and was getting some new clothes maybe twice a year, one time mostly as part of my birthday present.
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Basically anything full on Cult of Personality for Trump plus steadily increasing levels of fundamentalism Christianity. Holidays have been getting.......tense to say the least.
You don't get to pick the family you're born into. You do get to pick your family as an adult.
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"I love you, but I don't always like you"
Cool. Thanks. Feels just amazing.
Counterpoint: You were an asshole sometimes.
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It’s brutal when the mask inevitably comes off and you realise that your parents, who were once like gods, are in fact retarded.
That’s a cop out. It’s not stupidity. It’s hate.
