I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.
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I spend time on google maps just browsing, learning where different places are in the world.
One time someone put a blurred out map showing their location and I knew exactly where they were.
I promise never to use this power for evil.
Found Rainbolt's Lemmy account
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I'm wondering if there being 99.99% humans would make them all more valuable. And sometimes I just think maybe it would be for the best. But that is a bit insane, so I push it aside. But being treated like living garbage really does give you some ideas
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Do you mean 99.99% fewer humans?
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I can see true magenta. And it ain't pink.
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Covid probably saved my life.
I got bullied for about 5-6 years in school which ultimatively led to me just wanting to kill myself. Luckily for me the lockdown came so I got freed from the nightmare called school. My will to live devinetively improved, when not getting bullied the whole time you are sitting in class. However, when being in the lockdown I devinetively didnt process my feelings and thoughts about how I wanted to end myself. This led to me having almost a fill scale emotional breakdown mid class when school started, since we have been reading a play where someone killed himself and therefore learned stuff about the whole topic of suicide/mental health. Suddenly you realise, that all this shit kind of sounds very familiar for you which was quite overwhelming, but you can't let anyone see whats happening because that shit devinetively is going to get you bullied again. I never talked to a therapist about this and at this point it isn't needed, since I just went on and processed that time of my life for myself. I also kind of realised some time ago, that I also never told my family about this, but it isn't really relevant anymore and us just going to cause feelings of guilt in them for not acting.
Therapy might still be a good idea in the future, trauma can show up in quite unexpected forms.
I'm really glad you're doing better!
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I can see true magenta. And it ain't pink.
Are you one of those 4-cones people?
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Jesus fuck that sounds bad... sorry about that.
That shop took a lot of shortcuts on safety. I had to pull a dude out of a mill to prevent a 2" drill going into his head because he tripped into it. Never again will I standby as I put my own hands at risk for efficiency over safety.
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I kicked a decrepit german shepard to death.
::: spoiler WHY?!
Wasn't my fault really, the owner had trained his dog to be aggressive and I was deathly afraid of dogs. The animal escaped the leash and charged me, I don't know if it would have bitten me, but I instinctively kicked it in the face... I'm an extremely overweight guy and was scared shitless, that's propably why my leg had some serious power behind it, so I kicked that poor puppies snout straight into its braincase.Still have nightmares of that day. Good news is: I have sinced learned to be less afraid and love dogs now. I even regularly put my hand down the throat of a huge japanese Akita Inu who loves me to death and pull on his teeth in play.
:::Good on you, it's the owners fault. I really hate most dog owners, they just let their dogs off the leash and let them come up to you, not giving a shit whether the person is afraid of dogs or not or basically taking the risk for someone else.
Since having a daughter every time I'm out and there's dogs I hate having to imagine how I'd save her from an attack and how I'd either have to try killing it or escaping.
They have the audacity to say "don't worry they won't harm her" when I pick my daughter up to stop them getting near. "No fuck you and leash your dog"
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My knife collection began because I was suicidal.
To keep myself around I got a bunch of knives so I wouldn't pick a favorite and "dissapoint" the others.
...I got better.
You know, that is one of the most creative safety solutions I have heard. Glad you came up with it (probably due to still wanting to fight). The fight never stops, hope you are still doing well.
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I'm ready to die, honestly. Not that I want to do it, it's just that I feel it's time since the pandemic.
Quick clarification question. Ready to, or mentally prepared for death?
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I can see true magenta. And it ain't pink.
Wait a second people genuinely think magenta is pink?
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No matter what I do for self-care, my toenails are very sharp. I have accidentally made deep cuts on my own feet as well as others many times.
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Covid probably saved my life.
I got bullied for about 5-6 years in school which ultimatively led to me just wanting to kill myself. Luckily for me the lockdown came so I got freed from the nightmare called school. My will to live devinetively improved, when not getting bullied the whole time you are sitting in class. However, when being in the lockdown I devinetively didnt process my feelings and thoughts about how I wanted to end myself. This led to me having almost a fill scale emotional breakdown mid class when school started, since we have been reading a play where someone killed himself and therefore learned stuff about the whole topic of suicide/mental health. Suddenly you realise, that all this shit kind of sounds very familiar for you which was quite overwhelming, but you can't let anyone see whats happening because that shit devinetively is going to get you bullied again. I never talked to a therapist about this and at this point it isn't needed, since I just went on and processed that time of my life for myself. I also kind of realised some time ago, that I also never told my family about this, but it isn't really relevant anymore and us just going to cause feelings of guilt in them for not acting.
I'm glad you're better now, but like the other commenter said: This trauma can come back in unexpected ways and it'd be a good idea to prepare yourself for when that happens.
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Covid probably saved my life.
I got bullied for about 5-6 years in school which ultimatively led to me just wanting to kill myself. Luckily for me the lockdown came so I got freed from the nightmare called school. My will to live devinetively improved, when not getting bullied the whole time you are sitting in class. However, when being in the lockdown I devinetively didnt process my feelings and thoughts about how I wanted to end myself. This led to me having almost a fill scale emotional breakdown mid class when school started, since we have been reading a play where someone killed himself and therefore learned stuff about the whole topic of suicide/mental health. Suddenly you realise, that all this shit kind of sounds very familiar for you which was quite overwhelming, but you can't let anyone see whats happening because that shit devinetively is going to get you bullied again. I never talked to a therapist about this and at this point it isn't needed, since I just went on and processed that time of my life for myself. I also kind of realised some time ago, that I also never told my family about this, but it isn't really relevant anymore and us just going to cause feelings of guilt in them for not acting.
I also have mental health problems, not as bad as what you describe here, though.
I used to find myself stuck at home spending my time staring at the wall because I just can't leave the house. Having lockdowns during covid made me feel normal for a change. I was just like everyone else, stuck at home.
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I can see true magenta. And it ain't pink.
This made me learn about tetrachromamcy and now I feel like Tetrachromamcer should be a class in D&D.
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I intentionally make up horrors and monsters to lurk in the shadows or under my bed. Sometimes when I can't fall asleep, I stare at a corner of the room, imagining some unsettling creature that could be lurking there, staring back at me (if it has eyes at all). I imagine something reaching up to grab the leg I'm stick out over the edge.
But they can't actually get me. They're created, sustained and dispelled by my will. They may stare at me, reach for me, but they're powerless. When I'm done with them, I send them back to the half-existence in the collection of ideas I built them from.
It's a cruel power fantasy, to make up monsters incapable of understanding that they're the lesser horror between us, but it's fun.
It also seems to help me sleep, but that might just be the fact that focusing my brain on one thing quiets all the background noise.
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Zero car accidents, flawless driving record. There are lots of things you can't do, doesn't mean they can't be done.
Hopefully you don't kill anybody else when it finally happens
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You know, that is one of the most creative safety solutions I have heard. Glad you came up with it (probably due to still wanting to fight). The fight never stops, hope you are still doing well.
I have my moments, just like everyone else, but I have more good ones than bad ones. I do have a genuine love for knives though now, and still don't have a favorite.
I keep seeing videos of a guy who buys TSA confiscated knives by weight & laughs at them for sucking, and I laugh harder because my angsty teenage self collected a lot of them back in the day.
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I'm glad you're better now, but like the other commenter said: This trauma can come back in unexpected ways and it'd be a good idea to prepare yourself for when that happens.
Just to make this clear. I have completely dealt with all the shit I went through during that time and I have completely processed everything. I have accepted it as a part of my history and I Am completely fine with it. Theres nothing left to talk about in order to learn something about myself that I dont already know. I seriously dont see a single point where this is ever going to cause any problems in my future life.
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I can see true magenta. And it ain't pink.
Cliffhanger
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I realized I was trans in middle school, i said something suicidal to my friend and he told on me. I never really talked to the therapists because my mom was very homophobic. I got put on antidepressants and suppressed my feelings so hard I can hardly remember my childhood.
5 years later my depression went into "full remission" couple of months before I came out. I then 180°d and got sent to the psych ward for suicide ideation this February.The only thing that stopped me from killing myself is the realization that my cat would be rubbing against my body for pets in the ~10 hours it would take for my family to find me. I was planning to buy a knife after work but broke down in the bathroom.
I'm glad you're still here.
