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  3. It sounds like you dont know who you are.

It sounds like you dont know who you are.

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  • Z This user is from outside of this forum
    Z This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    It sounds like you dont know who you are. Take a minute alone and learn how to be independent and love the things you love, then stroll into your next relationship more confident and mature. You are desperately jumping into relationships to fill a void instead of being interested in the person you are dating.

    C kolanaki@pawb.socialK 2 Replies Last reply
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    • Z [email protected]

      It sounds like you dont know who you are. Take a minute alone and learn how to be independent and love the things you love, then stroll into your next relationship more confident and mature. You are desperately jumping into relationships to fill a void instead of being interested in the person you are dating.

      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I know this. The thing is, I’m not looking for a relationship right now because I’m not emotionally ready to be committed to someone. I am fully capable of being independant, I love doing things by myself. I prefer it than being with someone to be honest. But now it’s just the physical touch I crave too much. I don’t even want an emotional connection with this guy

      Z Z 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • Z [email protected]

        It sounds like you dont know who you are. Take a minute alone and learn how to be independent and love the things you love, then stroll into your next relationship more confident and mature. You are desperately jumping into relationships to fill a void instead of being interested in the person you are dating.

        kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
        kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
        #3

        I feel called out by this... I often think "I don't need someone who loves me, I mean I do, but what I really need is someone I love for real." Stupid BPD makes me fall in love at first sight with anyone who treats me like a person, but then it eventually fades and I realize I don't actually like them all that much. 😩

        Z 1 Reply Last reply
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        • C [email protected]

          I know this. The thing is, I’m not looking for a relationship right now because I’m not emotionally ready to be committed to someone. I am fully capable of being independant, I love doing things by myself. I prefer it than being with someone to be honest. But now it’s just the physical touch I crave too much. I don’t even want an emotional connection with this guy

          Z This user is from outside of this forum
          Z This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          But in maintaining the need for physical touch you are likely making your need worse. Therapy is never a bad option and in all reality, the need of physical touch may also be a point of contention and arguments in any future relationship. Guys suck at it, especially ones with trauma, so you need to learn to be self sufficient.

          C 1 Reply Last reply
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          • Z [email protected]

            But in maintaining the need for physical touch you are likely making your need worse. Therapy is never a bad option and in all reality, the need of physical touch may also be a point of contention and arguments in any future relationship. Guys suck at it, especially ones with trauma, so you need to learn to be self sufficient.

            C This user is from outside of this forum
            C This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I know. But when I’m in a relationship with someone I don’t care for those things. When I was with my ex, I was so emotionally connected that like I didn’t care or like NEED it. We were also long distance (7hrs) so we didn’t see each other as much as we wanted but I felt okay. But now since it’s over and I’m single, I’m craving it much much more. I think I’ll take it easy tho, I will try to regulate my sexual emotions

            Z 1 Reply Last reply
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            • C [email protected]

              I know. But when I’m in a relationship with someone I don’t care for those things. When I was with my ex, I was so emotionally connected that like I didn’t care or like NEED it. We were also long distance (7hrs) so we didn’t see each other as much as we wanted but I felt okay. But now since it’s over and I’m single, I’m craving it much much more. I think I’ll take it easy tho, I will try to regulate my sexual emotions

              Z This user is from outside of this forum
              Z This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Sounds like your lack of an emotional connection is being funneled through physical attention. You might be attacking the wrong feeling. I would still recommend a therapist not just a random guy on lemmy. I'm positive you can find a solution, I will always reccomend that you know yourself before you go into a relationship because we all tend to lose ourselves.

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              • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                I feel called out by this... I often think "I don't need someone who loves me, I mean I do, but what I really need is someone I love for real." Stupid BPD makes me fall in love at first sight with anyone who treats me like a person, but then it eventually fades and I realize I don't actually like them all that much. 😩

                Z This user is from outside of this forum
                Z This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Always love yourself first, then love someone else. Its easy to settle, but its tough to find the right person, but they do exist

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                • C [email protected]

                  I know this. The thing is, I’m not looking for a relationship right now because I’m not emotionally ready to be committed to someone. I am fully capable of being independant, I love doing things by myself. I prefer it than being with someone to be honest. But now it’s just the physical touch I crave too much. I don’t even want an emotional connection with this guy

                  Z This user is from outside of this forum
                  Z This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Get yourself a cat 😉

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