Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Don't tell me what to do.

Don't tell me what to do.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
89 Posts 69 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • G [email protected]

    Is that him or the worm talking?

    mushuchupacabra@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
    mushuchupacabra@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #16

    Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.

    D umbrella@lemmy.mlU 2 Replies Last reply
    5
    • B [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      kate@lemmy.uhhoh.comK This user is from outside of this forum
      kate@lemmy.uhhoh.comK This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #17

      just gonna leave this here https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/doctors-warning-people-not-insert-17802129

      lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL 1 Reply Last reply
      7
      • B [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        A This user is from outside of this forum
        A This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #18

        Wait what???

        B 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • B [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #19

          Tik Tok challenges are really going to another level.

          1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • B [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
            captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #20

            "Insert from other end"

            D 1 Reply Last reply
            3
            • B [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              N This user is from outside of this forum
              N This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #21

              ...unless you heat them up first, to kill the bacteria; two minutes on HIGH ought to do it.

              O 1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • B [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                K This user is from outside of this forum
                K This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #22

                Well now I’m gonna do it out of spite.

                W 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • B [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  deceptichum@quokk.auD This user is from outside of this forum
                  deceptichum@quokk.auD This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #23

                  Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.

                  heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH 1 Reply Last reply
                  2
                  • fartswithanaccent@fedia.ioF [email protected]

                    Hey it's Cheryl or Charlene or Carina or whatever...

                    loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL This user is from outside of this forum
                    loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zoneL This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #24

                    It's CRYS-TAL!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    7
                    • B [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #25

                      It's the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.

                      The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.

                      heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH M 2 Replies Last reply
                      11
                      • walk_blessed@piefed.blahaj.zoneW [email protected]

                        Literally 1984

                        5 This user is from outside of this forum
                        5 This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #26

                        The surveillance is a bit anal.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        3
                        • B [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          5 This user is from outside of this forum
                          5 This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #27

                          I couldn't find spring rolls on AnyDice.com

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • deceptichum@quokk.auD [email protected]

                            Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.

                            heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                            heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #28

                            He didn't complain about the tea kettle at least, that's just being hospitable

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                              It's the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.

                              The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.

                              heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                              heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #29

                              If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan's eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they've fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn't get Thursdays off, it's been a minute.

                              G 1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • B [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                G This user is from outside of this forum
                                G This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #30

                                FLARED. BASE.

                                machinist@lemmy.worldM 1 Reply Last reply
                                15
                                • fancypantsfire@lemmy.worldF [email protected]

                                  “RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”

                                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #31

                                  I'm not watching him and his grandchildren do this on live TV..

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • B [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    Z This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Z This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #32

                                    If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?

                                    P O H 3 Replies Last reply
                                    3
                                    • B [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #33

                                      Doctors don't know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      6
                                      • walk_blessed@piefed.blahaj.zoneW [email protected]

                                        Literally 1984

                                        tourist@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        tourist@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #34

                                        DO NOT SHOVE SPRINGROLLS UP YOUR ASS

                                        O 1 Reply Last reply
                                        8
                                        • Z [email protected]

                                          If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?

                                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #35

                                          I think there is only one way to find out...

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          4
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups