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Based dad

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  • reckless_moose@ttrpg.networkR [email protected]

    So what did he call it then? Half-Dandy, Semi-Sly, Republican?

    gmtom@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
    gmtom@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #20

    Probably a slur

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • Q [email protected]

      At first read, I thought the dad was confessing to cheating on OP's mum with dudes but now my question is...then what did the dad think it was?

      "Bisexual" isn't really a new term. And for someone who has been fucking around, you think they would've run into the term sooner.

      L This user is from outside of this forum
      L This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #21

      I can imagine him just living a hippie life, not putting labels on things, just shagging whomever he felt like.

      1 Reply Last reply
      15
      • gmtom@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

        I mean the modern use of the word is a little bit new. Depending on when this story happened and how old dad is he genuinely might not know the term. The first bisexuality groups were only created in the 80s and then it still took a while for it to be mainstream. Even bi icons like Freddie Mercury would only be seen as bisexual until much more recently.

        Q This user is from outside of this forum
        Q This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
        #22

        It might take time to be mainstream but this dude was apparently banging everything that moved. He wasn't mainstream, he was in the niche. I guess it does depend on when he was hoe-ing around. Assuming that OP is coming out to his father now(ish, don't know the exact year) means his dad had to be going gangbusters in the 80s to 90s, after bisexuality as a term was rolling around.

        liv@lemmy.nzL 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • Q [email protected]

          It might take time to be mainstream but this dude was apparently banging everything that moved. He wasn't mainstream, he was in the niche. I guess it does depend on when he was hoe-ing around. Assuming that OP is coming out to his father now(ish, don't know the exact year) means his dad had to be going gangbusters in the 80s to 90s, after bisexuality as a term was rolling around.

          liv@lemmy.nzL This user is from outside of this forum
          liv@lemmy.nzL This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #23

          It's in the past tense though; we don't have to assume it was now-ish.

          (I want to believe!)

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          • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]

            Some people are really detached from the culture they live in.

            Or it could be made up. Who knows?

            But I can definitely attest to some older folk not knowing what 'bisexual' means, especially in a rural or semirural area.

            liv@lemmy.nzL This user is from outside of this forum
            liv@lemmy.nzL This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #24

            I remember during the AIDS crisis health workers starteed to use the phrase "Men who have Sex with Men" in their education outreach partly because a significant number of these men did not self-identify as gay or bi.

            A 1 Reply Last reply
            10
            • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              N This user is from outside of this forum
              N This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #25

              Bit of a red flag that he apparently doesn’t ever use condoms though.

              T 1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • Q [email protected]

                At first read, I thought the dad was confessing to cheating on OP's mum with dudes but now my question is...then what did the dad think it was?

                "Bisexual" isn't really a new term. And for someone who has been fucking around, you think they would've run into the term sooner.

                finishingdutch@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                finishingdutch@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #26

                It definitely wasn’t mainstream here in the Netherlands up until the mid 1990’s from my perspective. Any guy who did things with another guy was ‘gay’, irrespective of anything that they might engage in with women.

                I imagine if that guy grew up in say, the 70’s UK, they genuinely might not have been aware that ‘bisexual’ was a thing you could be.

                B 1 Reply Last reply
                10
                • Q [email protected]

                  At first read, I thought the dad was confessing to cheating on OP's mum with dudes but now my question is...then what did the dad think it was?

                  "Bisexual" isn't really a new term. And for someone who has been fucking around, you think they would've run into the term sooner.

                  lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                  #27
                  1. It doesn't say he's cheating, he could mean in his entire life he had sex with others including men, but now with their mom he doesn't.
                  2. If he's still having sex with others, it doesn't have to be cheating. They can have an open relationship or be polygamous polyamorous.
                  3. It nowhere says he's still together with their mom.

                  You're making assumptions.

                  Edit: spelling mistake.

                  Q A 2 Replies Last reply
                  22
                  • lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL [email protected]
                    1. It doesn't say he's cheating, he could mean in his entire life he had sex with others including men, but now with their mom he doesn't.
                    2. If he's still having sex with others, it doesn't have to be cheating. They can have an open relationship or be polygamous polyamorous.
                    3. It nowhere says he's still together with their mom.

                    You're making assumptions.

                    Edit: spelling mistake.

                    Q This user is from outside of this forum
                    Q This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #28

                    For doing such a close reading on the OP, you really skimped on my comment. Y'know, where I said "on first read" before amending with "but now", meaning I had one assumption but it shifted.

                    lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • liv@lemmy.nzL [email protected]

                      I remember during the AIDS crisis health workers starteed to use the phrase "Men who have Sex with Men" in their education outreach partly because a significant number of these men did not self-identify as gay or bi.

                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #29

                      As someone who is deep into cruising culture, very many “straight” men sleep with dudes. They’d never be in a relationship with another guy, but they don’t care who sucks their dick.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      3
                      • lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL [email protected]
                        1. It doesn't say he's cheating, he could mean in his entire life he had sex with others including men, but now with their mom he doesn't.
                        2. If he's still having sex with others, it doesn't have to be cheating. They can have an open relationship or be polygamous polyamorous.
                        3. It nowhere says he's still together with their mom.

                        You're making assumptions.

                        Edit: spelling mistake.

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                        #30

                        Just a comment, you've said "Polygamous" where the correct word is "Polyamorous". They are not the same. Polygamy is marriage of multiple partners, often in "sister-wives" situations and often related to patrocentric power expectations in certain smaller religious instituions and cults. Polyamory is a romantic orientation allowing for multiple romantic or sexual partners. While the type of polycule a polyamorous person engages in will vary from person to person, the harem of wives thing doesn't really happen in polyamorous circles.

                        lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL L 2 Replies Last reply
                        7
                        • N [email protected]

                          Bit of a red flag that he apparently doesn’t ever use condoms though.

                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #31

                          Because condoms are a foolproof method of preventing pregnancy...

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • Q [email protected]

                            For doing such a close reading on the OP, you really skimped on my comment. Y'know, where I said "on first read" before amending with "but now", meaning I had one assumption but it shifted.

                            lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #32

                            Yet you made the assumption, wrote it down, and moved focus on something else instead of saying it doesn't have to be cheating. There's still a statement where you say you think he confessed to cheating, which I think is an assumption which doesn't have to be true, as I explained.

                            Q 1 Reply Last reply
                            4
                            • A [email protected]

                              Just a comment, you've said "Polygamous" where the correct word is "Polyamorous". They are not the same. Polygamy is marriage of multiple partners, often in "sister-wives" situations and often related to patrocentric power expectations in certain smaller religious instituions and cults. Polyamory is a romantic orientation allowing for multiple romantic or sexual partners. While the type of polycule a polyamorous person engages in will vary from person to person, the harem of wives thing doesn't really happen in polyamorous circles.

                              lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #33

                              You are completely correct, I think I made a spelling error and autocorrect changed it to this without me realizing. I'm polyamorous myself 🙂

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL [email protected]

                                Yet you made the assumption, wrote it down, and moved focus on something else instead of saying it doesn't have to be cheating. There's still a statement where you say you think he confessed to cheating, which I think is an assumption which doesn't have to be true, as I explained.

                                Q This user is from outside of this forum
                                Q This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #34

                                I also don't think it has to be true. That's why I stopped thinking it and thought the other thing.

                                I'm gonna stop here, m8. You're feeling some type of way, you've taken your own reading of what I wrote, and I'm not interested.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • A [email protected]

                                  Just a comment, you've said "Polygamous" where the correct word is "Polyamorous". They are not the same. Polygamy is marriage of multiple partners, often in "sister-wives" situations and often related to patrocentric power expectations in certain smaller religious instituions and cults. Polyamory is a romantic orientation allowing for multiple romantic or sexual partners. While the type of polycule a polyamorous person engages in will vary from person to person, the harem of wives thing doesn't really happen in polyamorous circles.

                                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #35

                                  Polygamy, polygyny, and polyamory are all separate things, basically

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • I [email protected]

                                    Which is also weird, because girlfriend can also mean a platonic female friendship.

                                    Rather inconsistent use of language actually.

                                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #36

                                    How dare they

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • B [email protected]

                                      Check out dad, whoring it up like a champ.

                                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                                      O This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #37

                                      Well, maybe just slutting it up; no idea if he went pro

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • finishingdutch@lemmy.worldF [email protected]

                                        It definitely wasn’t mainstream here in the Netherlands up until the mid 1990’s from my perspective. Any guy who did things with another guy was ‘gay’, irrespective of anything that they might engage in with women.

                                        I imagine if that guy grew up in say, the 70’s UK, they genuinely might not have been aware that ‘bisexual’ was a thing you could be.

                                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #38

                                        It still is in a lot of cultures.

                                        You can hook up with millions of women but you accidentally blow a guy and everyone labels you gay.

                                        M 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • D [email protected]

                                          Maybe the reason is that it's fiction?

                                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #39

                                          username checks out

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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