Thoughts on co-sleeping ?
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Edit: at what age did you have you kid?
Sorry for the edit, I just realized your son and your age and it raised some questions... I will put back my answer once this has been clarified
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Edit: at what age did you have you kid?
Sorry for the edit, I just realized your son and your age and it raised some questions... I will put back my answer once this has been clarified
.........27 year old mother with a 12 year old kid equals 15
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.........27 year old mother with a 12 year old kid equals 15
.........27 year old mother with a 12 year old kid equals 15
Thx a lot......... captain obvious. I wished for the op to answer the question themselves.
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Edit: at what age did you have you kid?
Sorry for the edit, I just realized your son and your age and it raised some questions... I will put back my answer once this has been clarified
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I had him when I was 15!
Edit: No worries, most people are usually surprised when they find out I’m a 27 year old mother with a 12 year old child.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
It's up to you how you raise your kid. Does he have any special needs or other extenuating circumstances? If not, personally I would try not to make it a habit for him. Bring him back to his bed when this happens and stay up with him until he falls asleep again so he can be more comfortable in his own bed. That can be exhausting but I think it would be good for both of you if your son had some good independence skills.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
If it's just a few nights, I wouldn't worry about it.
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.........27 year old mother with a 12 year old kid equals 15
Thx a lot......... captain obvious. I wished for the op to answer the question themselves.
They did. By putting the information in the opening post.
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I had him when I was 15!
Edit: No worries, most people are usually surprised when they find out I’m a 27 year old mother with a 12 year old child.
No worries, I just wanted to make sure there was not some mistake. Here is my edited reply:
Two things:
- why can't a teen not sleep? At his age, the body needs to sleep because its constantly growing and changing. That would be the first thing I would try to understand and fix. And if it is something the kid is not willing to discuss with his parents, which is ok too, maybe with someone else they can trust.
- if you have discussed with your son and there is no ambiguity between you I would just make sure that you sleep under separated sheets or whatever (he is not a little baby anymore and the body of a teen boy can react in ways neither you or him would be willing to see happen), provided you made it clear this should not become a habit because sleeping with mom may not be the best way to develop good sleeping habits.
Hope this helps.
(end of the edited reply)
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
I don't think it'll affect him negatively. It will be good to know why he wants to sleep in your room, so you can know if it's something you need to fix. If it starts to get uncomfortable you could let him sleep then take him to his room once his asleep (provided he's not too heavy).
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
I feel like you might be over-thinking this. If it's a recent thing then it's most likely just a phase and he'll grow out of it when puberty kicks in. One my best friends has an 11 yo and a 4 yo and they both end up in their parent's bed pretty much every night. There is nothing weird or unusual about a child sleeping in the same bed as their parent/s, no matter what internet hacks try to tell you.
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It's up to you how you raise your kid. Does he have any special needs or other extenuating circumstances? If not, personally I would try not to make it a habit for him. Bring him back to his bed when this happens and stay up with him until he falls asleep again so he can be more comfortable in his own bed. That can be exhausting but I think it would be good for both of you if your son had some good independence skills.
He does have diagnosed ADHD, but thanks for the advice, will definitely try this.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
If you're afraid it might cause a problem, maybe you could try to say no one time (ideally at some time when you sense it's not that important for your son, like not during a storm or after nightmares), just to see if that's ok for him, or if that raises problems.
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He does have diagnosed ADHD, but thanks for the advice, will definitely try this.
I can sympathize, I was a nightmare for my parents growing up not being able to sleep. Though I usually was caught reading or playing video games instead. ADHD can be very hard to deal with and I wish you the best of luck
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.........27 year old mother with a 12 year old kid equals 15
Thx a lot......... captain obvious. I wished for the op to answer the question themselves.
lol, why don't you just admit you're an idiot and an asshole? It's plain as day
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I feel like you might be over-thinking this. If it's a recent thing then it's most likely just a phase and he'll grow out of it when puberty kicks in. One my best friends has an 11 yo and a 4 yo and they both end up in their parent's bed pretty much every night. There is nothing weird or unusual about a child sleeping in the same bed as their parent/s, no matter what internet hacks try to tell you.
This. You're not causing permanent damage to a child by letting them sleep in your bed. You don't need an academic answer on what research says about this.
I don't like it because my kids kick and move around, so I don't want them to sleep in my bed.
The main advice for parenting should always be "you do you".
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
I did this when I was around the same age as your son. I remember knocking very often for a certain period of time, then at one point I just grew out of it. I would not worry too much about it, if there is no other serious topic that could be a reason for the behavior.
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I can sympathize, I was a nightmare for my parents growing up not being able to sleep. Though I usually was caught reading or playing video games instead. ADHD can be very hard to deal with and I wish you the best of luck
I was sleeping in my parents room, on the floor, till I was embarassingly old.
Turns out I had/have Tinnitus and found the background noise of whatever show they were falling asleep to made it infinite easier to sleep.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
I have experience with this. There is nothing damaging about co-sleeping occasionally. The risk is either of you becoming dependent.
A 27 year old single mother, if I had to guess, doesn't plan on staying single forever. At some point a significant other, once properly introduced, will be staying the night and your son should not be a part of that.
The other issue I see here is "it's kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night." This does not strike me as healthy, especially when he stops co-sleeping.
Ultimately, you are the adult, and you are the caretaker. I would highly recommend getting your son a regular therapist to guide you through this.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Why do you think he is asking to sleep with you? I know you said it's because he "can't sleep", but you can also just not be able to sleep in your own bed.
When I was a child (and even sometimes as an adult), I would get scared at night. Yeah every 2 year old gets scared at night, but I'm not talking about age 2. I did it my entire childhood...even when I got to be a much older child. I'm talking as old your son and then even older. When I would get scared at night, I would go into my sibling's room at night and sleep on the floor. It happened frequently. I did eventually "grow out of it" as another user stated and did it less frequently as I got older.
It might be embarrassing for him to talk about and he might not want to admit it, but do you think it could be something like this?
I'm 30 now and thankfully don't have those problems much anymore (and I live alone so there is no one to sleep with lol).
