The great millennial garbage gyre
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Right? I'm using my real name for my BlueSky account and I end up having to delete almost every comment I make for the same reason. It's a little paralyzing to have yourself on display like that.
It's strange to admit that now, because I went to college in 2004 when Facebook was just getting big and literally everyone was on it. I miss those days. It's hard to believe now with what an absolute shit show it has become, but early Facebook was wonderful. It genuinely made it easier to have a social life.
Early Facebook was cool, and then all our parents joined.
I nuked mine... a decade ago? Around when the Cambridge Analytica story broke.
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Whats it like in general? I uninstalled after I realized I can only pull porn bots shilling Instagram. I rather just die alone.
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We need to normalize blaming monogamy for shitty monogamists the way people blame non-monogamy for shitty non-monogamists.
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership, which is objectively good.
It's cool that you're non mono, I probably am too, but people are justified to prefer to be mono regardless of your personal opinions on relationship type
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most men then
What do you possibly base this on, the idea that men only care about sex and can't want relationships?
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I have zero sympathy for cis straight people who think they have limited dating options.
Ok then I'll have zero sympathy for assholes, regardless of orientation. Like yourself.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
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What do you possibly base this on, the idea that men only care about sex and can't want relationships?
i never said any of that
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A lot of women use the phrase “all the good ones are taken” but the reverse can also be true as well. Where all the good women are also taken. So most dating apps are full of the people who can’t keep a relationship, cheat, aren’t investing into something, or are the “leftovers.” I have a ton of female friend and what I saw on the dating apps when we were 25 was horrendous. As you get into your late 20s and early 30s you start seeing a lot of divorcees and single parents who then don’t have time and therefore don’t invest. Or do “invest” but now aren’t worth it because their kids should be more important.
America is a different universe lmao. Most people aren't even married once in their late 20s in Denmark.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
Book clubs.
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A lot of the more popular ones, okcupid included, all got bought up by Match Group and almost immediately started trending anti-consumer in their updates or removal of features. They want you paying, they don't give a shit about success.
Close, they actively fight success. Legally obligated to, even. It’s their fiduciary responsibility to keep you using the app.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
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Strangely enough, I've got a couple of friends on Tinder who have noticed that their pool of people gets much better after their age rolls over "40".
Whatever it is about the Tinder algorithm automatically seeds the worst, grossest, weirdest, gnarlest dudes to anyone under that line. And then anyone over that line gets access to the pool of "normals".
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Close, they actively fight success. Legally obligated to, even. It’s their fiduciary responsibility to keep you using the app.
So capitalism is incompatible with dating apps. Who woulda thunk?
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It's probably better than the sea of picless profiles of "discreet" married "straight" men on Grindr.
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We need to normalize blaming monogamy for shitty monogamists the way people blame non-monogamy for shitty non-monogamists.
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership, which is objectively good.
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership
Like, that's definitely coffee-house sex philosophy truthiness. But it ignores the desire for someone(s) to come home to and rely on. A relationship is more than just getting off. And monogamy (or committed poly, if that's your vibe) is about building a friendship with the loved one and a community with their social circle.
You don't own your partner any more than you own your parents or your siblings or your closest friends. You just want to be near them regularly, because you love them. And when there's only so many hours in the day, you dedicate yourself to these people because you want a relationship that's deep rather than a series of flings that can only ever be shallow.
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly… aren’t. And they’re HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
Had a friend who joked that if anyone questioned whether she was still hot, they only had to count the rings.
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As a single (Maybe neurodivergent?) 30 year old male, what other option I have?
Stop giving a fuck about that, work hard, eat right & exercise, get some great guy friends, community, get some hobbies you love.
It's a great part of the human experience, but it's not worth rushing or forcing a fit. I know a handful of guys that forced the fit, wasn't worth it when they got run through the divorce courts.
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I'm always surprised to hear people unimpressed with others on dating apps. A couple of my friends have shared their "feeds" and I was struck by how many good-looking people are out there. But they would swipe away from just the smallest turn-offs becoming deal breakers. Like if I saw these people in real life, I would think of them as average looking at worst, many being remarkably attractive. This is in the 20s to mid 30s range like the tweet. I definitely understand deciding you're incompatible based on politics or religion or culture but most of the time it would be for minor quirks. It felt like they were spoiled for choice in my eyes.
But then again, they're in serious long term relationships with conventionally attractive and supportive partners now so maybe being picky pays off. At the time, their reluctance to settle was a very frustrating experience for them.
Reluctant to settle, spoiled for choice, great ways of describing the situation.
the apparently-bottomless firehose of faces that makes you desensitized, the anonymous dismissal of them makes you callous.
The apps are just another dopamine slot machine, so the companies don't care and in fact would rather keep people in their app.
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When woman say, that men are poor quality commodities it's funny you see?
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Hey, can I come to your reunion?
I'm gonna tell you a secret, but you can't share it ok?
~X~ ~year~ ~reunions~ ~happen~ ~every~ ~year.~ ~Kids~ ~graduate~ ~every~ ~year.~