What strict parents actually teach
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Anecdotal observation from college: Lots of people got hammered on a weekend, at least sometimes, but the people who couldn't draw a line and keep it from destroying their grades were mostly the ones whose parents kept them rigidly controlled at home. It seemed like those folks had no practice in drawing their own lines because their parents always drew the lines for them, so when they were on their own they went nuts. The preacher's daughter is a cliche with a lot of truth.
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Fight/Flight/Freeze (though, some even add Fawn to that)
Aww, fawn! 🥹
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strict ≠ abusive
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I try to be a mix of equal parts strict, fair, informative, and supportive, in any order.
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Depends on what you mean by "strict". I think the meme is about the parents who get angry over little things but don't actually pay attention to their kids much - the ones who just assume that their kids would not dare to misbehave. However when I was in high school, I also saw plenty of kids (often immigrants) who had successfully been taught to work pretty much non-stop. I think their parents watched them (or at least their grades) closely enough that they couldn't have gotten away with anything. It seemed to work well - they got straight A's, never got in trouble, and went to prestigious universities. I can't think of a single one I knew who burned out or rebelled (while in high school - I don't know what happened to them afterwards). However, the ones I got to meet were already filtered, with the low- and medium-achievers not admitted to that school.
Strict for strict's sake is bullshit. Holding your kids accountable for their actions, enforcing boundaries, and channeling their energy into productive ventures might be considered strict, but that's good parenting in my book.
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This post did not contain any content.wrote on last edited by [email protected]
My parents were strict about things that didn't matter. They taught swear words and being gay was bad but never taught me anything about surviving life or making money or managing hobbies or anything having to do with self growth or independence.
They limited my ability to grow. Along with society at the time and then blamed me when for it when I became an adult and was socially dysfunctional.
It's weird... If you're not teaching your kids no one really is. They'll end up learning from entertainment or people taking advantage of them. But still people have kids like it's a set it and forget it process and then blame the kid/person for not knowing x thing.
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office work skills
Sounds like a good stand up comedy bit
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Aww, fawn! 🥹
Yeah, as a survivor of related experiences, finding out the latter two'd been recently added to this alliterative device was, frankly, a coldly epiphanous experience.
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All extremely useful skills in work life.
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strict ≠ abusive
wrote on last edited by [email protected]My parents weren't abusive but I still learned all of these except 'manipulate to calm down'...
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These are all invaluable survival skills, NGL.
It's the resulting FFF hairtrigger readiness that's fucking hell on the psyche, though.
Not if I constantly dissociate, self medicate, and avoid people to the point where I literally didn't process the threat.
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Not if I constantly dissociate, self medicate, and avoid people to the point where I literally didn't process the threat.
Sounds like processing the threat happened, NGL.
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As the other person said, it really depends on what people mean by "strict".
My parents were "strict" in that they enforced a bed time. Now I have better than average sleeping habits. So that worked out.
But I've also read about "strict" parents that, like, take doors off their kids rooms, or read the kids private messages, or other nightmares
Had my door taken off for playing my music too loud... Translation: We can't yell across the house for you to "come here".
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Sounds like processing the threat happened, NGL.
I may just be stuck on an old one then.
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Yeah, my parents made us leave our cell phones on the kitchen counter so they could read our texts every night, and they installed software on our computers that took screenshots every 5 seconds.
I wonder why I have issues with authority figures and privacy?
My folks were technology skeptics and limited access to screens. We had strict allotments of time to access electronics.
This taught us how to game the rules and make up arguments to justify our discretions.
They were also lawyers, so we walked into the first trap.
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I may just be stuck on an old one then.
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My folks were technology skeptics and limited access to screens. We had strict allotments of time to access electronics.
This taught us how to game the rules and make up arguments to justify our discretions.
They were also lawyers, so we walked into the first trap.
The video games in my house were downstairs, and one time I did a "Can I go downstairs?" instead of "Can I play video games?" when I knew they didn't want me playing more games. Thought it was a clever loophole. Only worked the one time, but got jokingly referenced for the next ten years.
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That's not strict, that's abusive.
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Anecdotal observation from college: Lots of people got hammered on a weekend, at least sometimes, but the people who couldn't draw a line and keep it from destroying their grades were mostly the ones whose parents kept them rigidly controlled at home. It seemed like those folks had no practice in drawing their own lines because their parents always drew the lines for them, so when they were on their own they went nuts. The preacher's daughter is a cliche with a lot of truth.
What does "the preacher's daughter" refer to?
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They're not unlike law enforcement, in that regard.
Unrelated (probably), but i just researched this and want to tell people:
- The US Army & National Guard has a combined troop strength of around 1 Million soldiers. source They are typically under federal control or can be "activated" (in the case of the National Guard) to be put under federal control.
- The US has a total number of police officers & law enforcement of, also, around 1 Million. source Most of them are under state & local control.
I'm saying this because i have been wondering, in case states try to secede and trump sends all troops he commands to the states to stop them from doing so, what would be the likely outcome.
Sorry, it's a bit off-topic here, but the US situation is on my mind a lot these days.
