DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website
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People keep saying The Onion can’t compete with reality anymore, but every week or two I keep biting.
Doesn't that prove the point though? Even absurdist satire seems real because of how absurd reality has been.
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Doesn't that prove the point though? Even absurdist satire seems real because of how absurd reality has been.
The Onion makes its best social commentary when it initially fools you into thinking it’s real. The point isn’t to be absurd or trick you, it’s to hold a mirror up and make you think.
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So now it is "The Department of ____________ "
___ = moment of silence
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Department of Johnsons.
Cuz they're all dicks.
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I hear Ministry of Love is available.
Ministry of Truth (Social)
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“Justice is a discriminatory form of woke cultural Marxism that has no place in our Justice Department,” Bondi said during a press conference, adding that pro-justice policies actively divided Americans, spread misinformation, and distracted from the DOJ’s core mission. “Anyone who says that justice is our department’s strength—or that we should promote dangerous ideals that imply Americans will be treated with dignity or compassion in the eyes of the law—is sadly mistaken.”
Mistaken isn't the word, but sadly is.
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Sound plausible in todays world.
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UP TOP
down low 🫲
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Department of Jeffrey (epstein)
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The Onion manages to fool me again.
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Injustice Department
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The Onion manages to fool me again.
I don't usually eat the onion but this one got me good.
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Department of just ice
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Injustice Department
Just... ICE
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Ministry of Truth (Social)
I felt like Truth didn't fully fit, I admit I just glanced at the wiki to remind myself of the various ministries. Here's why I chose Love for the DOJ:
"The Ministry of Love serves as Oceania's interior ministry. It enforces loyalty to Big Brother through fear, buttressed through a massive apparatus of security and repression, as well as systematic brainwashing."
