What are signs that you may be more attractive than you think you are?
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I never saw myself as ugly, but I always just assumed I was pretty average. It's not like people were tripping over themselves to spend time with me. I didn't have supermodel attraction powers or anything; the most attractive people in my school never gave me the time of day. Every person I've ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn't absolutely hideous.
(For the record, I tried to ask someone out once and it went so wrong, I never had the courage to ask anyone else out again, so the only time I dated anyone was when they approached me. Which happened quite a bit throughout my younger years.)
I've had friends talk about how jealous they are of certain features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.) but I was also jealous of certain features my friends shared, so I didn't ever feel physically superior to anyone. You want what you can't have, right?
But now I'm in my 40s, my hair is starting to thin, and thanks to a permanently busted leg and two bad knees, I can't exercise without pain and have gained probably 60+ pounds in recent years. All of a sudden, I've realized that people don't really notice me anymore. I don't draw much attention when I go out in public and people aren't as captivated by my conversation like they used to be.
My wife also used to love pointing out when strangers were staring at me in public. She used to brag that she'd snagged an attractive man and that other girls are just jealous. I used to think she was just trying to hype herself up, since she used to talk down about herself a lot, so I'd play along and praise her for being so lucky (and also let her know how lucky I was for getting to spend time with a woman like her). But it's been years now since she's pointed out anyone staring at me in public.
It's kind of dawning on me that I may have been pretty attractive as a young man. But like all things, beauty fades with age and I'm in an awkward phase where people aren't really paying much attention to me anymore. It's definitely hitting the ego, not only noticing the lack of attention, but realizing too late that I had that kind of attractive power in my youth. If I hadn't been crippled with introversion most of my youth, I probably could've been extremely popular.
I will point out, I shared a link to a blog of mine on Lemmy sometime earlier this year and I got a single comment, praising my attractive profile pic on my blog. Which is the first positive thing anyone's said about my appearance in years. That was a wonderful feeling, but also kind of hit hard, realizing that people don't really comment on my looks anymore.
That profile picture is maybe 5 years old now, and whereas I want to replace it with a more current one, I've been struggling to take one that doesn't make me feel old and ugly. So I'm going to keep using that older one until I feel like it no longer looks like me.
Every person I’ve ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn’t absolutely hideous.
features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.)
Assuming you're a man, it is absolutely not normal to be asked out by women. It is starting to happen more and more, but living in berlin, being surrounded by very left wing people, I still only rarely hear about a woman initiating a romantic relationship.
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Can you describe more specifically these differences in how you were treated?
Most people will assume you're lazy if you're fat
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Babies always stare at you for ages. apparently babies like to stare at faces that are considered conventionally attractive and I found this out when I searched "why do babies always stare at me"
Babies stare at me because of my facial hair. They're terrified. Or I'm beautiful, but probably the beard.
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Babies stare at me because of my facial hair. They're terrified. Or I'm beautiful, but probably the beard.
Why not both?
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Man wait until you hear about gay online dating
Is gay online dating full of reciprocal compliments?
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Babies always stare at you for ages. apparently babies like to stare at faces that are considered conventionally attractive and I found this out when I searched "why do babies always stare at me"
Opened this expecting to be devastated and the top comment is one I've never heard of that has happened to me a lot recently. 🥰
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This is a great way to find out!!
BRB - gotta go out and stare at a bunch of babies. i assume that might be creepy to some parents, so i will just tell them “it’s okay - i am just curious if your infant is attracted to me” which will totally make the parents feel relieved that i am not just some random weirdo.
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Same with being tall. Tall people are more likely to get promoted because when you're a kid the people in charge are taller than you so therefore anyone taller than you should be in charge.
Yeah, in some scenarioss you kinda have default authorithy and people like to assign leadership roles to you. For me, I'm aware height + my personality also makes me scary and unapproachable. Its a strange combitation.
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People will just tell you. It is that easy.
You get free merch. People insist on paying for your stuff or you cutting in line. Random compliments. Contagious smile. People imitating you. Being asked out.
It happened to me a few times where I was targeted by promoters for various things who asked if they could take a picture of me with the product. I was asked by people I would consider attractive. It didn't dawn on me until later in life that I may have been attractive.
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Babies always stare at you for ages. apparently babies like to stare at faces that are considered conventionally attractive and I found this out when I searched "why do babies always stare at me"
Well TIL. I thought it was freaky how that always happened.
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I always dislike the term fat. I understand it but really dislike it.
Sadly I also understand your perspective. I’ve had challenges with weight before as well.
I always dislike the term fat. I understand it but really dislike it.
I think it's much better than ntfs
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Babies stare at me because of my facial hair. They're terrified. Or I'm beautiful, but probably the beard.
Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn!
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The post is not asking about how attractive or not someone is. It is asking about indicators that one may be more attractive than they think. A common indicator is engagement with unhealthy social media.
That’s fair and I appreciate the follow up. When I posted that question, I wasn’t thinking along those lines. I was thinking more along the lines of the “baby stare”, “people being really nice to you”, “people being flirty”.
In the context of “someone doesn’t think they are attractive but the signs they get say otherwise, even if they don’t recognize them”.
Always interesting to hear a different perspective. I hope you’re having a great day!!
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BRB - gotta go out and stare at a bunch of babies. i assume that might be creepy to some parents, so i will just tell them “it’s okay - i am just curious if your infant is attracted to me” which will totally make the parents feel relieved that i am not just some random weirdo.
D’oh! Not like that! It’s a “science experiment”. I don’t want to hear about anyone getting arrested for a question I posted on Lemmy
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I always dislike the term fat. I understand it but really dislike it.
I think it's much better than ntfs
Yeah, agreed, I think just about anything is better than ntfs
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I’m not sure I follow your comment. Just having high esteem wakes people more attractive? Is that something people have experienced?
I know some folks with high self esteem but wouldn’t call them attractive.
Am I missing something?
There was this Amy Schumer Movie "I feel pretty" that's exactly what I mean. She thought she was thin, her self esteem went up and everybody found her attractive.
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I’m not sure I follow your comment. Just having high esteem wakes people more attractive? Is that something people have experienced?
I know some folks with high self esteem but wouldn’t call them attractive.
Am I missing something?
Absolutely. Confidence is king.
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Every person I’ve ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn’t absolutely hideous.
features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.)
Assuming you're a man, it is absolutely not normal to be asked out by women. It is starting to happen more and more, but living in berlin, being surrounded by very left wing people, I still only rarely hear about a woman initiating a romantic relationship.
that seems like a fair assumption to make considering he mentioned his wife bragging that she had snagged an attractive man :3
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I never saw myself as ugly, but I always just assumed I was pretty average. It's not like people were tripping over themselves to spend time with me. I didn't have supermodel attraction powers or anything; the most attractive people in my school never gave me the time of day. Every person I've ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn't absolutely hideous.
(For the record, I tried to ask someone out once and it went so wrong, I never had the courage to ask anyone else out again, so the only time I dated anyone was when they approached me. Which happened quite a bit throughout my younger years.)
I've had friends talk about how jealous they are of certain features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.) but I was also jealous of certain features my friends shared, so I didn't ever feel physically superior to anyone. You want what you can't have, right?
But now I'm in my 40s, my hair is starting to thin, and thanks to a permanently busted leg and two bad knees, I can't exercise without pain and have gained probably 60+ pounds in recent years. All of a sudden, I've realized that people don't really notice me anymore. I don't draw much attention when I go out in public and people aren't as captivated by my conversation like they used to be.
My wife also used to love pointing out when strangers were staring at me in public. She used to brag that she'd snagged an attractive man and that other girls are just jealous. I used to think she was just trying to hype herself up, since she used to talk down about herself a lot, so I'd play along and praise her for being so lucky (and also let her know how lucky I was for getting to spend time with a woman like her). But it's been years now since she's pointed out anyone staring at me in public.
It's kind of dawning on me that I may have been pretty attractive as a young man. But like all things, beauty fades with age and I'm in an awkward phase where people aren't really paying much attention to me anymore. It's definitely hitting the ego, not only noticing the lack of attention, but realizing too late that I had that kind of attractive power in my youth. If I hadn't been crippled with introversion most of my youth, I probably could've been extremely popular.
I will point out, I shared a link to a blog of mine on Lemmy sometime earlier this year and I got a single comment, praising my attractive profile pic on my blog. Which is the first positive thing anyone's said about my appearance in years. That was a wonderful feeling, but also kind of hit hard, realizing that people don't really comment on my looks anymore.
That profile picture is maybe 5 years old now, and whereas I want to replace it with a more current one, I've been struggling to take one that doesn't make me feel old and ugly. So I'm going to keep using that older one until I feel like it no longer looks like me.
I'm in rather the opposite boat. Always figured I was average as a young man, but somehow ending up punching above my weight class with women. LOL, I was so clueless.
By my late 40s I think I peaked on looks. Now I'm 54 and slipping a bit, but finding dates was easy money! Be middle-aged, non-fat with all original teeth and hair, non-MAGA, I was hitting on all 8 cylinders! Had so many women to the house the neighbors were both disgusted and amazed. (This was COVID times, so a first date at someone's house was a thing. Weird, I know.)
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Every person I’ve ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn’t absolutely hideous.
features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.)
Assuming you're a man, it is absolutely not normal to be asked out by women. It is starting to happen more and more, but living in berlin, being surrounded by very left wing people, I still only rarely hear about a woman initiating a romantic relationship.
Before online dating I only dated women who were clearly hitting on me or asked me out. 80s movies scared me about being "that guy".
