So proud!
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I catch myself doing this all the damn time, and that's precisely what it is for me.
I suspect that's what it is for many of us. Most of us don't intend condescension, but I expect that doesn't make it any better
Maybe it's that there is nothing wrong with a man explaining something that he is excited about and that there is also nothing wrong with women feigning attention in these situations because it's a social response to promote group thinking as opposed to individual effort?
Maybe it's only natural and we don't have to hate ourselves for it? Sure you might not be happy to play that role every single time, but you don't have to because you are free to choose.
Also, you can isolate yourself from other people if you do not wish to have discourse with men or women that will no doubt involve them explaining things to you that they are passionate about or excited in the moment.
I would certainly not criticize the woman or the man for these behaviors because I see it as human.
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Maybe it's that there is nothing wrong with a man explaining something that he is excited about and that there is also nothing wrong with women feigning attention in these situations because it's a social response to promote group thinking as opposed to individual effort?
Maybe it's only natural and we don't have to hate ourselves for it? Sure you might not be happy to play that role every single time, but you don't have to because you are free to choose.
Also, you can isolate yourself from other people if you do not wish to have discourse with men or women that will no doubt involve them explaining things to you that they are passionate about or excited in the moment.
I would certainly not criticize the woman or the man for these behaviors because I see it as human.
Well shit, I think you just helped me discover the origins of my introverted trait. I think I might isolate myself to keep from being that person!
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But you can't callout a man for being misogynistically condescending to a woman. Got it.
I'd love to know how seeking clarification implies your my or anyone else's ability to say what they want. I know I haven't said or knows that at worst all I want is to know how making assumptions based on sex isn't bigoted. I get how condescending to someone because they are a woman is bigoted, can you see how assuming someone is a bigot rather than ignorant based solely on their sex is by definition bigoted?
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That's always been my issue with this whole mansplaining shit. Like yeah, it is a real thing that exists, but it very quickly just morphed into "a man (whom I didn't want to talk to me) told me something" most of the time.
iâll literally be talking about my own field in which iâd be considered an expert opinion with people who have no idea what theyâre talking about and still get accused of mansplaining. iâve never liked the framing of mansplaining either. itâs such a gigantic victim complex. youâre not obligated to sit and listen to anybody, let alone someone you arenât enjoying talking to. if you sit and listen to someoneâs entire explanation and donât interject and explain you rather wouldnât have - thatâs not the other person in the conversationâs fault, be they a man, woman, or otherwise. like, youâre a grown ass fucking adult, why do we tolerate behavior thatâs honestly kind of childish? the number of times iâve seen genuine âmansplainingâ i can count on one hand versus the numerous times ive seen men trying to earnestly participate in discourse shuttered out in the name of âjustice.â
this is how i kind of feel, itâs always just been a way to shut men down bc they said something you didnât like or agree with. itâs rhetorically lazy, like you canât even respond to whatâs being said so you default to some weird ad hominem over their penis. not saying mansplaining doesnât happen, it does, but itâs certainly not nearly as prevalent as people act. and frankly, even when it does, who the fuck cares? youâre not a hostage, and if you were, their monologue is the fucking least of your worries?!?
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I'd love to know how seeking clarification implies your my or anyone else's ability to say what they want. I know I haven't said or knows that at worst all I want is to know how making assumptions based on sex isn't bigoted. I get how condescending to someone because they are a woman is bigoted, can you see how assuming someone is a bigot rather than ignorant based solely on their sex is by definition bigoted?
I get how condescending to someone because they are a woman is bigoted
Right, but you've also claimed it's impossible to believe that's happening without being a bigot.
Your logic concludes that any women who thinks a man is being misogynistically condescending to them is a bigot.
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This isn't a you problem. You haven't been mansplaining. This is gender war shenanigans and people being sexist towards men in the name of feminism. Gender in western society is honestly cooked at this point.
Eh, it's a me problem of oversharing, and I can appreciate that my perspective isn't a universal perspective. How I'm perceived is as much my concern as my intention. I can't control what other people feel, but I can appreciate their perspective and respect their feelings without taking it personally.
If someone feels like I'm mansplaining, I want to know about it and try not to do that again. That's not an indictment of gender relations in modern society, that's just courtesy.
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I get how condescending to someone because they are a woman is bigoted
Right, but you've also claimed it's impossible to believe that's happening without being a bigot.
Your logic concludes that any women who thinks a man is being misogynistically condescending to them is a bigot.
Nope, I've said you need to know the speakers intent. So either you already know them or their intent otherwise you're simply making a conclusion based largely on their sex and your perception.
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Nope, I've said you need to know the speakers intent. So either you already know them or their intent otherwise you're simply making a conclusion based largely on their sex and your perception.
And how can you know that intent without being a mindreader?
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And how can you know that intent without being a mindreader?
To know them. No one is asking you to make bigoted assumptions, I'm specifically asking not to.... That's sorta my point. Once you gender something unnecessarily you're by definition treading water is abject bigotry.
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Well shit, I think you just helped me discover the origins of my introverted trait. I think I might isolate myself to keep from being that person!
Great job exploring your feelings! You are a superstar!
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To know them. No one is asking you to make bigoted assumptions, I'm specifically asking not to.... That's sorta my point. Once you gender something unnecessarily you're by definition treading water is abject bigotry.
I mean, even if you think you know them, that's still an assumption.
But let's grant you that, because congratulations, you've answered your own question! That's exactly how you can use the term "mansplaining" without being a bigot. By knowing that that's what they are doing.
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I mean, even if you think you know them, that's still an assumption.
But let's grant you that, because congratulations, you've answered your own question! That's exactly how you can use the term "mansplaining" without being a bigot. By knowing that that's what they are doing.
You're catching on, so again how is this substantially different then screeching dei when inconvenienced by a minority? It's not is it? It's just bigotry.
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You're catching on, so again how is this substantially different then screeching dei when inconvenienced by a minority? It's not is it? It's just bigotry.
Just to be sure I understand your question, you're asking how a woman knowing they're being mansplained to is different than someone screeching dei when inconvenienced by a minority?
That's your real question?
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Is she explaining a basic thing herself?
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I mean they aren't wrong, she's patronizing them with condescension they can't perceive because of their clear deficits.
That's a great observation!
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Just to be sure I understand your question, you're asking how a woman knowing they're being mansplained to is different than someone screeching dei when inconvenienced by a minority?
That's your real question?
How do they "know" anymore then the man "knows" you aren't aware of whatever it is they're explaining?
They don't, they assume, it's just a bigoted assumption.
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How do they "know" anymore then the man "knows" you aren't aware of whatever it is they're explaining?
They don't, they assume, it's just a bigoted assumption.
You tell me! You were the one who asserted that the only way a woman can believe a man is being misogynistically condescending and not herself be a bigot is for her to "know" that he is.
I granted you that, but sure, if you want to dissect your own claims, let's do it.
Tell me, how can a women know that a man is being misogynistically condescending to her?
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"Karen" is a character, a specific trope. It happens to be a woman, but there is no inherent generalization that all women are Karens. It's gender-specific so I would use something gender-neutral instead, but it is not generalizing behavior across a group of people. The biggest issue with it is that it's unfair to people named Karen. Also maybe it's just me but I haven't seen or heard anyone use this in a couple years now.
I haven't heard anyone use the words "Phillistine" or "Luddite" as insults in probably more than a decade. If anything, I've seen the Luddites get a bit of a resurgence in popularity as an important early labor movement against capitalists. A lot of their concerns turned out to be true, and we are seeing parallels today with the rise of AI.
"Barbarian" means someone who is non-Greek, and later the Romans used it to mean someone who is non-Roman. This is a similar example to "retarded" where it is context-dependent. The word "mansplaining" does not stem from an inoffensive use like this, so I'm not sure why you're bringing it up.
Eat the Rich and All Cops Are Bastards are fucking based, because being wealthy and being a class traitor are choices these individuals are making, not identities. I would call serial murderers monsters, and racists pieces of shit.
I'd say "nice try" but really this attempt kinda feels like you're just throwing shit at the wall in the holes that something sticks. It's almost impressive how hard you are fighting to feel good about using sexist microagressions.
It's just pointing out that your position isn't consistent and seems to be related to how close the subject is to your own experience, while providing examples of the phenomenon of turning a derogatory generalization into a broadly understood concept that isn't necessarily attached to its root. (Barbarian is a fun one since the word was making fun of the way foreigners talked. I don't know of a direct contemporary comparison because people would rightfully point out that "chingchonger" is wildly offensive.) "Mansplaining" is a behavior specifically called out as a self-assured-man-assumes-ignorance-in-woman-and-condescendingly-explains-a-thing. It's not just dudes talking, it's not all men, and it doesn't hurt men that the behavior is identified. Mansplaining is a particular tone and context, it's hyper-specific language critical of one facet of patriarchal dominance and the assumed value of masculinity.
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You tell me! You were the one who asserted that the only way a woman can believe a man is being misogynistically condescending and not herself be a bigot is for her to "know" that he is.
I granted you that, but sure, if you want to dissect your own claims, let's do it.
Tell me, how can a women know that a man is being misogynistically condescending to her?
You're being obtuse. I can't tell you how someone can know something that's impossible to know, what I can say is it makes them a bigot to simply assume shit based on sex.
What claim? Unless you're saying it's not bigoted to make assumptions based solely on perception and sex then I think we actually agree you just haven't made the jump to say mansplaining is specifically and exclusively a sexist preconception.
They can't, they can say a person is condescending to them, to assume it's based on either parties sex is sexist. You've met a condescending asshole and decided it's because of their sex, that's sexist.
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It's super easy not to mansplain. When you bring up a subject, just ask if they know about it, then segue into a conversation where you can both participate.
