Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Ask Lemmy
  3. What will be the top news headline on the day that you die?

What will be the top news headline on the day that you die?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
asklemmy
24 Posts 18 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • M [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    V This user is from outside of this forum
    V This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Gaargle flooded with toads, again.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • M [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
      medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      Earth runs out of Oxygen... Billions of people die!

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • M [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        P This user is from outside of this forum
        P This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Top headline will be about some new word the young generation is using. The smaller pieces will say stuff like "are you morally opposed to murder? That may cost you your job! 12 out the 14 companies in America say they wouldn't hire someone with antique puritane views"

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • M [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          U This user is from outside of this forum
          U This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
          #5

          FMC: Oxygen line malfunctions. Experts estimate 100% casualties. Mars ambassador to Earth: "No contact has been made as of now, investigation is underway".

          The news will start shortening to FMC because "First Mars Colony" will be such a frequent headline.

          I will not be involved myself, I just assume I'll live waaaay too long and die peacefully in a parachute accident that same day.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • M [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            P This user is from outside of this forum
            P This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            you won't believe what happened to this fish

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • M [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              O This user is from outside of this forum
              O This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              over_clox was attacked and run over by a Cybertruck 3.0 in auto self-defense mode after trying to move a turtle out of the road.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • M [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                quazatron@lemmy.worldQ This user is from outside of this forum
                quazatron@lemmy.worldQ This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                The year of Linux Desktop is here!

                captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC 1 Reply Last reply
                4
                • M [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  If I'm lucky, it'll be the fact that I died. And the reputation I'd have to build to get that headline is hopefully gonna be a good one.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • M [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    Z This user is from outside of this forum
                    Z This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    "Man dies from dehydration while defecating on former President Donald Trump's grave. Friends say man intentionally consumed many McDonald's Hamburgers and bottles of laxatives prior to death."

                    kalkulat@lemmy.worldK 1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • M [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Coffin too small for deceased performer, but not for the reason you think

                      jordanlund@lemmy.worldJ 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S [email protected]

                        Coffin too small for deceased performer, but not for the reason you think

                        jordanlund@lemmy.worldJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jordanlund@lemmy.worldJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                        #12

                        "Great big tombstone."

                        https://youtu.be/3qqE_WmagjY

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • M [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          bebopalouie@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bebopalouie@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          There will be no headline. I am just a plebe.

                          M 1 Reply Last reply
                          2
                          • M [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            C This user is from outside of this forum
                            C This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            My entire obituary will start with the phrase

                            Area man ....
                            

                            Of that. I'm sure.

                            captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • C [email protected]

                              My entire obituary will start with the phrase

                              Area man ....
                              

                              Of that. I'm sure.

                              captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                              captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              Just as long as it’s not Florida man…

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • quazatron@lemmy.worldQ [email protected]

                                The year of Linux Desktop is here!

                                captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                                captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                So, now? https://yearofthelinuxdesktop.net/

                                quazatron@lemmy.worldQ 1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • M [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  kalkulat@lemmy.worldK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kalkulat@lemmy.worldK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  "Immortality For All Just Weeks Away"

                                  K 1 Reply Last reply
                                  2
                                  • Z [email protected]

                                    "Man dies from dehydration while defecating on former President Donald Trump's grave. Friends say man intentionally consumed many McDonald's Hamburgers and bottles of laxatives prior to death."

                                    kalkulat@lemmy.worldK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    kalkulat@lemmy.worldK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    Good luck with that. Have u ever seen how they had to bury Reagan?

                                    G 1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.comC [email protected]

                                      So, now? https://yearofthelinuxdesktop.net/

                                      quazatron@lemmy.worldQ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      quazatron@lemmy.worldQ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      To me it was somewhere in the late 90's, but I'm sure people will still be debating this when I die.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • M [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        jordanlund@lemmy.worldJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        jordanlund@lemmy.worldJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        "Trump does stupid shit... again."

                                        Might be Don, might be Jr., might be Eric. There are enough Trumps to exhaust my lifetime.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • kalkulat@lemmy.worldK [email protected]

                                          "Immortality For All Just Weeks Away"

                                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          Go down in history as the last human to die

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          1
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups