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  3. Is it a bad idea to let my kid's friends rent from me and live in my house?

Is it a bad idea to let my kid's friends rent from me and live in my house?

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  • D [email protected]

    Where do you live? That determines the legal environment.

    You have good intentions, but you should have an exit plan. What will you do if you must ask someone to leave?

    R This user is from outside of this forum
    R This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #5

    Colorado. Very friendly to landlords

    T 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • D [email protected]

      Where do you live? That determines the legal environment.

      You have good intentions, but you should have an exit plan. What will you do if you must ask someone to leave?

      R This user is from outside of this forum
      R This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #6

      See, that's why I'm leaning towards just letting them keep their stuff in the kid's car and being a houseguest if it came down to it. WHAT would I do if someone has to go? As a house guest I can just say, "Whelp. You should head out."

      N 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R [email protected]

        edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

        https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

        ORIGINAL:

        I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

        I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

        To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

        1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

        2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

        3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

        edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

        Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

        sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

        toes@ani.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
        toes@ani.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #7

        I knew a family that tried to do this.

        Turns out their mental issues also prevented them from taking care of their space. Probably caused them 50k in property damages.

        R 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • R [email protected]

          edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

          https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

          ORIGINAL:

          I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

          I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

          To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

          1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

          2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

          3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

          edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

          Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

          sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #8

          You seem to be open to all three options, and i wouldn't choose for you. I can provide some thoughts though.

          What the kids wants could make the difference between 2 and 3 : do they want something strictly defined and stable (so more 3) or are they looking for something temporary and prone to change (so more 2) ? Their ability to provide the money can also make the decision for you, but since it's not discuted i assume they can.

          Now, between 1 and the others, your wife opinion may make the decision for you, and talking with the kids to setup boundaries to prevent the situation from getting out of hands can be of some help in case you tend towards 2 or 3. Another idea is to search for other options, even if they don't use them yet, but that they could use in the case it's not possible at your house anymore, as others suggested.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R [email protected]

            edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

            https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

            ORIGINAL:

            I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

            I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

            To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

            1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

            2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

            3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

            edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

            Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

            sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by [email protected]
            #9

            You could always "charge rent" (low amount) as a way of building up a security deposit you give back to them when they leave and use to give some insurance in case they damage anything during the stay.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • Z [email protected]

              We have a saying that translates roughly to: friendship ends at the money.

              So: Don't.

              Give them for free as much as possible. Make your money from other sources.

              T This user is from outside of this forum
              T This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #10

              That saying is cool ! What is the original version ? Here, one of the main saying is "good accounting makes good friends", and i clearly prefer yours.

              S Z F 3 Replies Last reply
              0
              • R [email protected]

                See, that's why I'm leaning towards just letting them keep their stuff in the kid's car and being a houseguest if it came down to it. WHAT would I do if someone has to go? As a house guest I can just say, "Whelp. You should head out."

                N This user is from outside of this forum
                N This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #11

                IANAL but many localities have provisions that guests become defacto tenants after certain timeframes. This CO lawyer's blog I found searching for your state's tenancy laws might be a good read. https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                R 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • R [email protected]

                  edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

                  https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                  ORIGINAL:

                  I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

                  I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

                  To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

                  1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

                  2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

                  3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

                  edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

                  Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

                  sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

                  medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                  medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #12

                  Don't do business with family, or friends.

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                  3
                  • R [email protected]

                    edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

                    https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                    ORIGINAL:

                    I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

                    I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

                    To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

                    1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

                    2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

                    3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

                    edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

                    Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

                    sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #13

                    There are ways in which this could go very well (i.e. your own example) and ways in which this could go very poorly. So it's not an easy decision to make.

                    You don't mention your wife's opinion on this - what does she think? You should only take on renters if both of you are completely on the same page, otherwise this could cause a major rift in your relationship.

                    If you do end up thinking more seriously about letting them rent your space, you need to be completely clear about your rules and expectations. Tell them (both your kids and their friends) what will absolutely not be tolerated, and stress that they will be kicked out if they don't follow your rules. And if you're concerned about legal consequences, make sure to consult with a real estate lawyer to write up a rental contract and brief you on relevant local rental laws.

                    R 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • toes@ani.socialT [email protected]

                      I knew a family that tried to do this.

                      Turns out their mental issues also prevented them from taking care of their space. Probably caused them 50k in property damages.

                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #14

                      My mom rented out my childhood home to a couple that was struggling and unable to get credit.

                      They decided they were going to take the roof off and add a second floor without telling her the plan. She didn't find out until the local authorities contacted her and told her that she would be fined for not having the permits for that kind of job. The tenants realized that they couldn't actually do any of what they intended, so they quietly left without telling anyone and the house sat through a PA winter with no roof.

                      I always support helping people, but it is not without it's risks.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      4
                      • T [email protected]

                        That saying is cool ! What is the original version ? Here, one of the main saying is "good accounting makes good friends", and i clearly prefer yours.

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #15

                        That's French, right? My best friend is French and boy is he weird about munny.

                        libb@piefed.socialL T 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • T [email protected]

                          That saying is cool ! What is the original version ? Here, one of the main saying is "good accounting makes good friends", and i clearly prefer yours.

                          Z This user is from outside of this forum
                          Z This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #16

                          What is the original version ?

                          Beim Geld hört die Freundschaft auf (German)

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • S [email protected]

                            There are ways in which this could go very well (i.e. your own example) and ways in which this could go very poorly. So it's not an easy decision to make.

                            You don't mention your wife's opinion on this - what does she think? You should only take on renters if both of you are completely on the same page, otherwise this could cause a major rift in your relationship.

                            If you do end up thinking more seriously about letting them rent your space, you need to be completely clear about your rules and expectations. Tell them (both your kids and their friends) what will absolutely not be tolerated, and stress that they will be kicked out if they don't follow your rules. And if you're concerned about legal consequences, make sure to consult with a real estate lawyer to write up a rental contract and brief you on relevant local rental laws.

                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #17

                            what does she think

                            She is fine with them here and actually floated the idea of charging a little rent.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • N [email protected]

                              IANAL but many localities have provisions that guests become defacto tenants after certain timeframes. This CO lawyer's blog I found searching for your state's tenancy laws might be a good read. https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                              R This user is from outside of this forum
                              R This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #18

                              cool, thanks. I found one (possibly slop) article that claims guests in CO become tenants by staying 14 days within 6 months.

                              edit: wow, thanks. That blog really firmed up my resolve that they will not pay rent. Sounds like it can get very sticky very quickly.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • S [email protected]

                                That's French, right? My best friend is French and boy is he weird about munny.

                                libb@piefed.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                libb@piefed.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #19

                                Yep, French, it reads 'Les bons comptes font les bons amis'.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • S [email protected]

                                  That's French, right? My best friend is French and boy is he weird about munny.

                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #20

                                  It is indeed ! Do you mean weird in the sense "very picky about what you owe to each other" ? Cuz i mainly see either this, either "i will do anything possible to pay for my friend"

                                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    I'd start by looking into local laws regarding landlord/tenant stuff if you haven't already. Make sure you know what you're getting yourself into in case things go poorly.

                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                    #21

                                    Yes, I would never do this in Belgium. Because if the person has no (other) legal address, it's impossible to remove them from your home. Even if you have video proof of them regularly shitting in your cornflakes as you're eating.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • R [email protected]

                                      edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

                                      https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                                      ORIGINAL:

                                      I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

                                      I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

                                      To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

                                      1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

                                      2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

                                      3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

                                      edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

                                      Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

                                      sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

                                      kissaki@feddit.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      kissaki@feddit.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #22

                                      https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                                      Sorry, you have been blocked

                                      This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. The action you just performed triggered the security solution.

                                      Yeah okay

                                      R 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • R [email protected]

                                        edit: OK, I think this blog post that /u/NebLem linked decides it. Hard line at "not a rooming house" but I don't want you to sleep outside tonight.

                                        https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

                                        ORIGINAL:

                                        I remember when I was a kid and on hard times I was taken in by a friend and his dad. It saved me from being on the streets. This sort of situation seems to be developing now that I'm middle aged and my young adult children have friends with less than stable home lives. All these kids are LGBTQ or adjacent, some have diagnosed mental illness.

                                        I want to help, but man... what happens if it goes sideways? I would hate to throw someone out if personal problems got too much. We have the space and these kids are over here all the time anyway, they just don't have a room and don't pay anything. Made some pretty kickass food last night though. Money is starting to get pretty tight what with food prices increasing, my insurance just went up, yadda yadda. I was thinking something like $500/mo since I'm already paying for everything, this money would of course help. Seems like two, maybe three kids need shelter.

                                        To be clear, it isn't imminent but probably by October. So let's see what Lemmy thinks I should do:

                                        1: No, we will not run a rooming house.

                                        2: Yes, but. You don't have to pay money and are still a house guest. Please continue to pick up after yourself and buy food when you can.

                                        3: Yes, I will create a few private areas in my basement and you pay me rent. We will be roommates but it's still my and my wife's house.

                                        edit: looks like I would definitely need a formal lease as soon as someone brings a suitcase in for more than a night.

                                        Colorado: Guests become tenants after staying for over 14 days within six months

                                        sounds like I already have a couple tenants.

                                        I This user is from outside of this forum
                                        I This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #23

                                        My mom took in one of my sister’s friends she was fine. When I left for undergrad my mom took in an additional one my sister’s friends and it was a total disaster.

                                        Those kids had fucked up home lives, in the first case it was the parents issues in the second case the kid was the issue and was just a really bad situation.

                                        I wouldn’t do it.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        3
                                        • T [email protected]

                                          It is indeed ! Do you mean weird in the sense "very picky about what you owe to each other" ? Cuz i mainly see either this, either "i will do anything possible to pay for my friend"

                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #24

                                          The former. At the same time he'll try to haggle on extremely inexpensive things, then drop $800 on an analog wristwatch. We both make very good money. I've spent most of my life broke, so I enjoy my newfound wealth by paying for everything half the time and letting others pay for things half the time when with friends of similar means, not bothering to track dollar amounts, since I'm no longer a missed paycheck away from sleeping under a desk - and will always offer to pay for my broke friends.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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