What are some questions you wish you asked your parents while you still could?
-
This post did not contain any content.
I want to inject some positivity into this thread. My dad, who is turning 79 in a week, will be visiting soon. We're going to present him with the most bedazzled outrageous and frankly disgusting hat I've ever heard of or seen or thought of. It's shockingly pink, covered in rhinestones and spells out his name in another language that he'll immediately recognize.
I also got him a cool ass travel mug for his coffee.
I won't have any questions for him. We have a great relationship. I'll miss him when he's gone.
-
It's been 24 years, I think that if you're going to ask, now is an appropriate time.
I also don't know what I'd ask. It just seems so personal.
-
This post did not contain any content.
Who are all these people in the photographs you inherited from your own parents, then I did from you? How were they related to me?
-
Damn these comments are depressing.
WELL OP, I was falling asleep to the same existential dread yesterday and was wondering the same thing. I think the best gut instinct is since your parents are still around, whatever you wanna ask them is worth asking cause the best thing is getting to talk to them and connect in any way while they’re still around or have their wits about.
I had a coworker who lived far from his mom and lamented that he visits her only on holidays and that if he counted how many visits were left, he was mortified at the idea of seeing his mother only 20 or so more times. So, he made some changes to visit her more often.
I used to think I had to ask my parents questions but I realized lately, I’m more interested in making sure I get to make new memories with them, go to new places with them, take photos, don’t argue about the small stuff, and try to live in the now while I’m lucky enough to have it.
Quick edit: it may be worth asking them what memory or something they’d like to pass along and have you hold onto? There’s always something lost between generations (I sure know nothing of my great grandparents), but if they’d like to have a story remembered, a recipe, anything.
This was beautiful. Thank you
️ -
I also don't know what I'd ask. It just seems so personal.
"Do you ever think about your experience on 9/11?"
If you're comfortable asking that, his reply might indicate whether he'd be willing to talk more about it.
Good luck
️ -
Do you get to spend much time with them?
I still have my parents, luckily, but I can only imagine when they're gone I'll regret not just being around them more while they're here, rather than regretting not asking them something in particular...
That's a good point, thanks for the perspective
-
They're still alive, but I really hate talking to them. I wanna ask about what China was like when they grew up, like a sort of documentary interview type of thing and I write down the answers so I have first hand account of it. Because I didn't have much memories of it, I was only a kid at the time when we left for the US.
But asking questions like that really feels awkward since they'd start saying shit like "Look how much we sacrificed for you" and all that shit, so nah I'm good, I heard enough when they were talking to each other in the living room and through their phone calls with friends and relatives, I get the gist of it, they suffered a lot so therefore they think its okay to get "strict" with kids (aka: neglect and emotional abuse and manipulation), I don't need to ask for specifics I've heard enough.
Totally fair. And I never thought about the "documentary interview" style of asking... This is really interesting and I wish there was a way to do this without getting the types of responses you mentioned.
-
I want to inject some positivity into this thread. My dad, who is turning 79 in a week, will be visiting soon. We're going to present him with the most bedazzled outrageous and frankly disgusting hat I've ever heard of or seen or thought of. It's shockingly pink, covered in rhinestones and spells out his name in another language that he'll immediately recognize.
I also got him a cool ass travel mug for his coffee.
I won't have any questions for him. We have a great relationship. I'll miss him when he's gone.
I love this! I wish more people could have this kind of relationship with their parent(s)
️ -
That's a good point, thanks for the perspective
My apologies as I really didn't answer your question.
I suppose it'd be hard, because everyone is unique and different, as is their relationship with their parents, their histories and so on..
If my question was to be "Why did you decide to marry each other? What made that person the right person for you?" for example, that question might not really be something you'd consider asking your own parents.
Maybe they weren't married, or even together? Maybe it's a culture where arranged marriage occurs...I suppose the best thing I could think of that I should ask my parents is about me, my upbringing and their ideas of what and who I would be, and what they did to try to shape me into who I am.
Thats a very specific thing that only my parents could really answer, and it'd probably help me better understand myself and may help me be a better parent too...I hope thats been more helpful
-
My apologies as I really didn't answer your question.
I suppose it'd be hard, because everyone is unique and different, as is their relationship with their parents, their histories and so on..
If my question was to be "Why did you decide to marry each other? What made that person the right person for you?" for example, that question might not really be something you'd consider asking your own parents.
Maybe they weren't married, or even together? Maybe it's a culture where arranged marriage occurs...I suppose the best thing I could think of that I should ask my parents is about me, my upbringing and their ideas of what and who I would be, and what they did to try to shape me into who I am.
Thats a very specific thing that only my parents could really answer, and it'd probably help me better understand myself and may help me be a better parent too...I hope thats been more helpful
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it
️
