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  3. What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?

What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?

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  • B [email protected]

    This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

    I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

    I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

    Its tough.

    jomiran@lemmy.mlJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jomiran@lemmy.mlJ This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #35

    When I lived in a city I never gave money but I did offer canned or sealed food. I have also given away my used camping gear.

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • B [email protected]

      This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

      I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

      I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

      Its tough.

      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #36

      If I'm entering a place that has food of any kind I'll just ask what they want, I've rarely been asked for something that exceeds $5-10. More often than not they eat, pack up their stuff and leave after that. They feel acknowledged, I feel good for helping and I also hopefully didn't contribute to the drug issue.

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • B [email protected]

        This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

        I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

        I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

        Its tough.

        N This user is from outside of this forum
        N This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #37

        If I can spare it, I share it. I used to be homeless myself and would never have gotten out of that without help. It seems to me I have an obligation to pass that on.

        1 Reply Last reply
        11
        • B [email protected]

          This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

          I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

          I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

          Its tough.

          J This user is from outside of this forum
          J This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #38

          Ignore them.

          My city has the programs in place for them to get off the street. All they need to do is go into a program that will get them off drugs and to not use drugs in the provided apartments.

          As such, if they are on the street, it is because they value drugs over living.

          catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zoneC 1 Reply Last reply
          4
          • B [email protected]

            This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

            I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

            I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

            Its tough.

            J This user is from outside of this forum
            J This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #39

            If I have money, I give it to them if they aren't raising any danger flags. Like there's one woman who just screams "I'M HUNGRY" at people, and I'm sure that's true, but I don't engage with her because it feels unsafe. There's one whose name I learned, and another couple we recognize each other now.

            I used to make good money (low six figures). Giving away $20/week to people asking for it wasn't even noticeable in my budget. I could probably have done $200/week without noticing. I think my peers are just bad at budgeting though.

            I've been unemployed for a while now, so I don't always have cash to give. I tell them the truth.

            I don't expect people who have nothing to give a lot. But I know many of my six figure salary peers could give without even noticing the money, and they don't. They don't give to charity, either. They just buy video games they don't play, run the AC so they have to wear a hoodie inside, and so on.

            1 Reply Last reply
            6
            • B [email protected]

              I feed them, get them any medical care they need and help them get into section 8 housing.

              And then they introduce me to their friends to do the same for them.

              Or they were just trying to play on people’s sympathy for money and avoid me like the plague.

              A This user is from outside of this forum
              A This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #40

              Are you sure you do all those things while you're trying to get from point A to B like the OP, or you're carving out separate time to go do those things? Seems like you couldn't accomplish anything else downtown if you're feeding and arranging medical care and housing for every panhandler you come across.

              B 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • B [email protected]

                This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                Its tough.

                sefra1@lemmy.zipS This user is from outside of this forum
                sefra1@lemmy.zipS This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #41

                May not be the most polite thing to do, but when outside I always wear headphones walk at fast pace and don't hear anyone no matter who speaks to be.

                I've noticed that as long as I have my headphones on, even if they aren't playing, most ppl won't speak to me anyway.

                undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • W [email protected]

                  I donate to a charity that I know will help (they've helped family members in the past), Shelter, but I genuinely say to those who ask me around my town that I have no change

                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #42

                  I used to give fairly often, but after handing one of the more famous homeless folks in my community a 5 spot and him immediately saying “thanks man, I’m going to go buy a beer with this” I took a hard think and realized I don’t want to enable that lifestyle. I mean a beer is fine every once in a while, but I’d rather see the guy have a safe environment where he can drink it.

                  So now instead I donate to our local hospitality house every time someone asks me for some change.

                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • B [email protected]

                    This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                    I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                    I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                    Its tough.

                    buboscandiacus@mander.xyzB This user is from outside of this forum
                    buboscandiacus@mander.xyzB This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #43

                    I really don't have cash

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • W [email protected]

                      You sure this isn't a scene in scary movie?

                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #44

                      LMAO it literally is

                      W 2 Replies Last reply
                      2
                      • B [email protected]

                        This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                        I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                        I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                        Its tough.

                        X This user is from outside of this forum
                        X This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #45

                        Say I don't have it. Say sorry at the same time.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • N [email protected]

                          At home: Nothing. Genuine homelessness isn't really a problem. There's this joke that we have a government programme called "winter" that takes care of this. Truth is, there are actual government programmes in place that takes care of this as well - It is written in law that anyone who cannot afford a place to stay, as well as basic necessities will have this covered.

                          Abroad: When not in what causes fox news talking heads to clutch their pearls over socialist hellscape societies (Norway), I'm a lot more giving. Plus, I usually carry some currency that I will no longer need once I leave. I especially remember the happy outcry of a beggar I walked past while visiting this developing country. I was on my way to pick up some supplies the last day before heading for home. Repeated "Bless you!"-s once he realized that the stack of leftover cash included quite a few 20$ bills.

                          In short, he obviously needed them more than I, so I gave what I could.

                          Oh, and if it counts, I often give to buskers as some of them are actually pretty good.

                          buboscandiacus@mander.xyzB This user is from outside of this forum
                          buboscandiacus@mander.xyzB This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #46

                          Norwegians saw this:

                          And said "What if we weren't stupid and used it for something good"

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • B [email protected]

                            This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                            I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                            I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                            Its tough.

                            cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                            cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #47

                            If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.

                            undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU mika@sopuli.xyzM D 3 Replies Last reply
                            16
                            • J [email protected]

                              Ignore them.

                              My city has the programs in place for them to get off the street. All they need to do is go into a program that will get them off drugs and to not use drugs in the provided apartments.

                              As such, if they are on the street, it is because they value drugs over living.

                              catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zoneC This user is from outside of this forum
                              catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zoneC This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #48

                              “Just don’t be an addict bro” is a non-solution to homelessness re: no drug use in apartments. Relapse is a normal and expected part of addiction, and expecting them to be perfect or they lose their housing is a great way to make people more likely to relapse.

                              J 1 Reply Last reply
                              4
                              • B [email protected]

                                This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                Its tough.

                                crazi_man@europe.pubC This user is from outside of this forum
                                crazi_man@europe.pubC This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #49

                                Homeless people endure constant hardship, abuse and dehumanising behaviour. I might not give money, but I'm careful to avoid dehumanising them.

                                1. You can carry around smaller denominations if you do want to give something.

                                2. If they're close to a convenience store then I offer to go in and buy something for them (tell them a budget and ask about and preferences or restrictions).

                                3. If I'm not going to give anything, I still make eye contact, try to have a sympathetic smile on my face and say something like "I'm sorry, do take care". I don't know if this is dumb or patronising, but I'm trying to avoid being dehumanising as the constant response they get is for people to avoid eye contact, walk around with a wide gap or ignore completely. I want to try to at least acknowledge and respond.

                                B 1 Reply Last reply
                                16
                                • Z This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Z This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #50

                                  To be fair - there are also homeless people who never did drugs or drank (or gambled and so on) in the first place. Because of that they actually don't qualify for any of those programs.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • sefra1@lemmy.zipS [email protected]

                                    May not be the most polite thing to do, but when outside I always wear headphones walk at fast pace and don't hear anyone no matter who speaks to be.

                                    I've noticed that as long as I have my headphones on, even if they aren't playing, most ppl won't speak to me anyway.

                                    undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU This user is from outside of this forum
                                    undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                    #51

                                    I used to take public transportation and wore those big, over-the-ear headphones (can’t stand the piss poor audio quality of earbuds) and for whatever reason it attracted more people trying to talk to me. I never understood that.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • B [email protected]

                                      This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                      I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                      I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                      Its tough.

                                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #52

                                      Shake my head, say "sorry man, God bless," and keep walking. I'm not religious, but they often are.

                                      Donate to real charities that actually help people change their lives, or to food banks or shelters that support them. Giving to individuals feels nicer (or worse to avoid) due to the directness, but is ultimately not as helpful.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • cruxifux@feddit.nlC [email protected]

                                        If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.

                                        undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU This user is from outside of this forum
                                        undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #53

                                        Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.

                                        G cruxifux@feddit.nlC 4 A C 5 Replies Last reply
                                        6
                                        • undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU [email protected]

                                          Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.

                                          G This user is from outside of this forum
                                          G This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #54

                                          Hustle gotta hustle

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