whats the cheapest legal way to dispose of my dead body so i can stick it to the funeral industry?
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Quite the game of hot potato
There is a German song with this theme called "Ne Leiche".
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This is harder to do than you might think. First of all you have to have it all arranged beforehand. You can't do it last second. The bigger problem is a lot of places don't have the facilities to come get a body from random places. On top of that they don't want every body. Most places are looking for bodies that exhibit certain criteria. Certain diseases or certain disorders or anything that makes the medical useful for study.
When one of my grandfathers died, none of his children or ex-wives wanted anything to do with a funeral or burial arrangements. My parents found a place that accepted his alcoholism-ravaged body, and they took care of things. I'm not sure of the details, and seems likely it wasn't a medical school, but some organization took the body "last minute".
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Only half-jokingly, my suggestion te my wife is to have me cremated, then mix my ashes in with some concrete to make a life-sized statue of me.
Stick me on the front lawn and dress me up for holidays, put a pointy hat on me and make a giant lawn gnome, stick a bowl on my head to use as a bird bath, or dump me at a cemetery and let me be my own headstone, doesn't really matter to me, I'll be dead, I won't care, but I figure she might as well be able to get a chuckle out of it, and maybe ruffle the feathers of some HOA Karen while she's at it.
She actually really likes the idea. She wants to have my statue posed like Buddy Christ from Dogma.
And maybe go ahead and do the same with the ashes of any dogs I've had and stick them right next to me. Better than having them take up space on the mantle forever, and they're more deserving of a monument than I'll ever be.
Bonus, she'll think of you and visit you way more often than if you were shoved in a back corner of a cemetary.
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
Don't die. That'll teach them.
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Just as a curious follow-up, did they go into what would happen if your body is rejected or is there already a back-up plan in place?
Well then it's "as you were" - back to your executor/family/friends to decide what to do. I personally don't care. I'll be dead, and I've done my best to avoid the fuss and expense.
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
There are burial grounds that are basically natural parks, where you have to be buried in something biodegradable, like a shroud or pine needle basket, and no grave markers are allowed besides something like a tree or uncut rock. (Burial locations are recorded by gps.) I'd like to be buried in one of these places. Not sure what the cost is, though.
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
I didn't realize that there were any illegal ways to dispose of a body, as long as it's in their will and sanitary
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Direct cremation is the absolute chespest way to handle it. They'll try to sell you a fancy urn, and may even say it's illegal to use another type of container, but you could literally do what they did in The Big Lebowski and use a coffee can if you wanted. The guy who invented Pringles had his ashes put into a Pringles can. The ashes themselves come in a sealed plastic bag, anyway.
My mom's are just in a wooden box I made for her when I was in highschool woodshop.
Or just flush'em down a toilet, Captain Fantastic style.
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
Donate to science?
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the motherfucker
He prefers "Dad".
My mum doesn't like being called Fatherfucker
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My mum doesn't like being called Fatherfucker
At least it's better than motherfuckee?
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
I think you can just not claim the body and the government will bury it in a pauper's grave or something, but there might be some downsides to rejecting the body entirely.
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
Science Vs. did a great episode on Human Composting a few years back. It's really touching and highlights a fantastic way to convert your death into life.
Here is a link to the episode.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6reXXkhnvGxpSvnCz8wP2c -
Native American pyre
Why Native American specifically? I'm thinking of Darth Vaders pyre and wondering if there's something different that the native Americans did, and also, what nation specifically if you know. They didnt all follow the same rituals/ceremonies
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Among the other warnings here, if getting the cremains is important to you, be careful; my mother did this and we never got anything back. We almost didn't get anything of my father back, but my sister was tenacious.
Just so you're aware, it's my understanding that during cremation you're likely getting first only some of the remains back and second likely not only theirs. I don't think it matters, but I wouldn't be surprised if the remains of your father was some other ashes entirely. It doesn't really matter though. It's just a bunch of carbon at the end of the day.
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fuck thousands for a coffin. or hundreds for an urn. can i legally be burried in butcher paper?
can i donate my body to science and skip burrial all together?
i want my final action to be a big middle finger to the funeral industry picking on people in their weakest moments.
Become entirely homeless and cut off all contacts and remove all identification so no one will be around to care when you die.
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I didn't realize that there were any illegal ways to dispose of a body, as long as it's in their will and sanitary
There's definitely some limitations. There was a bit of an issue in my state when a Mosque wanted to install a cemetery on their lot, but they were too close to the aquifer and weren't allowed.
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Native American pyre
"Sky burials" are probably cheaper.
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Science Vs. did a great episode on Human Composting a few years back. It's really touching and highlights a fantastic way to convert your death into life.
Here is a link to the episode.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6reXXkhnvGxpSvnCz8wP2cIs it a luxury option for the rich?
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Don't die. That'll teach them.
That's my plan. So far it's working out!
