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Captain's Log

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • simplejack@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
    simplejack@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #1
    This post did not contain any content.
    dumbass@leminal.spaceD rustyshackleford@lemmy.zipR A 8 kolanaki@pawb.socialK 12 Replies Last reply
    226
    • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      dumbass@leminal.spaceD This user is from outside of this forum
      dumbass@leminal.spaceD This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      I've had some shits where I could have used some strong arm support.

      rockerface@lemmy.cafeR 1 Reply Last reply
      14
      • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        rustyshackleford@lemmy.zipR This user is from outside of this forum
        rustyshackleford@lemmy.zipR This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #3

        I could’ve definitely used this for arm support for my Captains Log’s more than once.

        1 Reply Last reply
        4
        • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          A This user is from outside of this forum
          A This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #4

          The USS Relax-your-thighs

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          1
          • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            8 This user is from outside of this forum
            8 This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #5

            There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

            fizz@lemmy.nzF rockerface@lemmy.cafeR hossenfeffer@feddit.ukH hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.worldH K 6 Replies Last reply
            11
            • 8 [email protected]

              There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

              fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
              fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              Keeps you nimble

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • dumbass@leminal.spaceD [email protected]

                I've had some shits where I could have used some strong arm support.

                rockerface@lemmy.cafeR This user is from outside of this forum
                rockerface@lemmy.cafeR This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                "Why is it called a restroom if I'm fighting for my life in here?"

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • 8 [email protected]

                  There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

                  rockerface@lemmy.cafeR This user is from outside of this forum
                  rockerface@lemmy.cafeR This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  Because you'd have a bidet with a throne like this. TP is only there to dry off afterwards.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  3
                  • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
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                    kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                    kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    14
                    • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zoneH This user is from outside of this forum
                      hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zoneH This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #10

                      Captain's log, stardate 4200.69

                      51 new kinds of microbes have been discovered living in my seat because every time I flush it, the pleather or whatever the hell that cover is, is filled with piss and shit particles.

                      A 1 Reply Last reply
                      6
                      • 8 [email protected]

                        There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

                        hossenfeffer@feddit.ukH This user is from outside of this forum
                        hossenfeffer@feddit.ukH This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        Just get your TP Butler to hand you sheets as you need them like any normal person!

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          That level of comfort facilitates dropping a fully intact and curved “captain’s log”.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          2
                          • 8 [email protected]

                            There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

                            hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                            hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            Maybe it is because they fucked up and put it there so you can reach it from a normal toilet. And now they have this instead.

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                            0
                            • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              I This user is from outside of this forum
                              I This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              10
                              • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                C This user is from outside of this forum
                                C This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                Why does it look so much like an ice cream sandwich

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                4
                                • 8 [email protected]

                                  There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

                                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Right? It's in a stupid place in each bathroom in my house. Whoever installed them had never heard of ergonomics.I just remove the roll entirely, set it on the sink and put it back when I'm done.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
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                                    wabafee@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
                                    wabafee@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Why TP could have one of those japanese bidet instead.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Perfect to orbit uranus looking for Klingons.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • 8 [email protected]

                                        There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        The TP roll is just for backup, wiping is done by tractor beams.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • simplejack@lemmy.worldS [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          wildtamaskan@pawb.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
                                          wildtamaskan@pawb.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Def gonna be dropping some captain's logs on that throne

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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