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  3. Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

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  • B [email protected]

    A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

    “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

    F This user is from outside of this forum
    F This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #212

    Morons, giving all their personal information and insecurities to companies.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • F [email protected]

      I'm totally against what companies are calling "AI", but I understand that many men still have a negative feel on therapy inherited from society, their family, their friends, and the people around them. Now add that with the fact that therapy sessions cost a kidney, I don't blame them. Even mental health has to be monetized in capitalism, and the capitalists (more specifically liberals) are still wondering why suicide rate is so high, I wonder 🤔

      F This user is from outside of this forum
      F This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #213

      You should blame them because the AI is not a solution to their problems, it will only create more problems and worsen their current ones.

      S 1 Reply Last reply
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      • T [email protected]

        I'm a therapist who works almost exclusively with men. Here one pattern I've seen often:

        • Man is conditioned from a young age not to identify, process or express his feelings
        • Man doesn't share his feelings with anyone - friends, family, partners - for years
        • Man sees woman as safe, caring and validating
        • Man confides in woman only and continues not sharing feelings with others
        • Woman becomes overwhelmed, resentful, dismissive
        • Man gets the message that he never should have opened up in the first place

        It can be true both that men need to open up more and should not treat their partners as therapists. We all need support systems because no one person can always be available to give us everything we need. It's not wrong to confide in a partner, but if that partner is the only confidant it's precarious for both. And I want to emphasize this is not the fault of a man, or men as a community. This is the result of generations of conditioning from both men and women, and both men and women play a part in the solution. I also want to recognize that many of us don't have a network of people we could open up to even if we wanted to, and many more can't afford therapy.

        If anyone reading this can afford therapy, I highly recommend it. It's a place to undo some of that conditioning, to sit with someone who's committed to listening, caring, and not judging.

        L This user is from outside of this forum
        L This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #214

        man is conditioned from a young age not to show feelings

        I feel like you skipped over this part way too quickly. Myself and other men have been hearing things like "it's not manly to cry", "whining isn't going to do anything for you", "being weak is girly", and countless other things for my entire memorable life

        And it's not just men telling me this. It's men, women, adults, my classmates, teachers and mentors.

        It's not a good thing. And it's changing now, which is so good. But man hearing that from your earliest memories makes it really set in.

        T 1 Reply Last reply
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        • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG [email protected]

          Probably the closest space any guy could get is AA or NA meetings.

          what do these abbreviations stand for?

          don@lemmy.caD This user is from outside of this forum
          don@lemmy.caD This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
          #215

          AA = Alcoholics Anonymous

          NA = Narcotics Anonymous

          Both are treatment programs for their respective addictions.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • wraithgear@lemmy.worldW [email protected]

            Ironically, i am feeling attacked right now..

            F This user is from outside of this forum
            F This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #216

            If you gave all your personal details and vulnerabilities to a corporation's chatbot then you fucking should feel attacked rn. You know these AI have been in the news for telling people to commit suicide for a while now, right? Either get real professional help or go browse some public discord/matrix channels about your interests to find somebody to voice chat to, fr.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • F [email protected]

              You should blame them because the AI is not a solution to their problems, it will only create more problems and worsen their current ones.

              S This user is from outside of this forum
              S This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #217

              Ok, so the solution to men feeling too scared to open up about their mental health enough to rely on something as unreliable as ChatGPT is for you to victim blame them?

              F 1 Reply Last reply
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              • doom@ttrpg.networkD [email protected]

                What the fuck? Can you read?

                Coping Skills are not gender specific. What a dope.

                S This user is from outside of this forum
                S This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #218

                You just blamed all his so-called issues on him being a man. The question is can you read your own comment or do you just type out sentences that you yourself don't understand?

                doom@ttrpg.networkD 1 Reply Last reply
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                • S [email protected]

                  Ok, so the solution to men feeling too scared to open up about their mental health enough to rely on something as unreliable as ChatGPT is for you to victim blame them?

                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #219

                  If some men thought the solution to loneliness was fucking a toaster I'd think less of them too, yeah. At least find a tool that suits the purpose, talking to the AI is just self harm.

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • doom@ttrpg.networkD [email protected]

                    This comment section is nuts.

                    Men #1 issue is lack of empathy, TOWARDS women. Not each other.

                    There's your solution.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #220

                    You seem to lack empathy.

                    doom@ttrpg.networkD 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • S [email protected]

                      You reply to an anecdote (well really more of a logical argument but w/e) with an anecdote.

                      Astounding level of intellectual discussion going on here.

                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #221

                      Well, you see, only his anecdote has any value, anybody else's is just an anecdote and therefore doesn't count.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.comA [email protected]

                        Is it really that ridiculous? Biologically seen, men's properties are mostly due to genetic selection by women over thousands of years, if they are conscious about it or not. Men that are more attractive to women are preferred partners, and the selection pressure is mostly on men, since women have a much higher biological cost in pregnancy, therefore they are much more "picky". That is pretty proven science, and this pressure is also found in culture: men have the attributes that women want them to have to give them an advantage.

                        It would only take 2-3 generations of women AND men doing child care to fix those issues by reinforcing openness and acceptance, but that takes education, esp in the human sciences, and education for the masses in the US has been dismantled long ago even before the current razing.

                        doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                        doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #222

                        Yes that is ridiculous because the intent is to lay responsibility at women's feet, again. Like always.

                        This stuff about how women see men or whatever weird breeding shit you're rambling about is irrelevant you're just trying to argue women have a choice in some weird way to make the men they want and "choose" not to. That's so silly.

                        The simple fact is men are allowed to not take part in their kid's lives and having one parent do the job isn't gonna work regardless if they are male or female. As you suggested that is a comment on our social structure which i agree with but again, not what is being said in this thread it's very clear they are blaming women directly and entirely.

                        Now again there's dozens of factors at play here but the bottom line is men are responsible. They hold power in society, they are allowed to disregard children and they are the ones bullying boys into being the way they are. Do women have a role in that? Sure. Is it their responsibility or fault? No that's silly as fuck especially cause most couldn't have jobs, couldn't vote and still can't do either across the globe.

                        Bottom line is men are failing men and the first step to a solution is empathy especially towards women which this thread lacks hard. Women are literally the ones leading the charge in reinforcing openness and education, don't believe me? go to your local elementary school and check out how the teachers speak to kids. Some will be men most will be women and they're impressively kind and open and teaching a variety of skills to help kids be better people. Men as a whole are not doing that, in fact most men in power are actively trying not to let that happen. They call it sissyfication.

                        a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.comA 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • S [email protected]

                          You just blamed all his so-called issues on him being a man. The question is can you read your own comment or do you just type out sentences that you yourself don't understand?

                          doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                          doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #223

                          Please quote me. I said he's being sexist which he is.

                          S 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L [email protected]

                            man is conditioned from a young age not to show feelings

                            I feel like you skipped over this part way too quickly. Myself and other men have been hearing things like "it's not manly to cry", "whining isn't going to do anything for you", "being weak is girly", and countless other things for my entire memorable life

                            And it's not just men telling me this. It's men, women, adults, my classmates, teachers and mentors.

                            It's not a good thing. And it's changing now, which is so good. But man hearing that from your earliest memories makes it really set in.

                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #224

                            Thank you for expanding on that point. I meant it to be a "here's how we got here" before the rest of my "this is where we are today."

                            You're totally right, and any conversation about men's behavior at large should include the experiences you just described. Even though we didn't get ourselves into this situation - in that we didn't raise ourselves - we're the ones who will get us out.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • S [email protected]

                              You seem to lack empathy.

                              doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                              doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #225

                              Sure buddy keep hating women or whatever the point of your comment was.

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • E [email protected]

                                Well those sound like people who aren't good to open up to.

                                I do sympathize though, I pretended to be a guy for several decades, and my wife put exactly the same kind of duality on me that men put on women.

                                I was expected to be sympathetic and nurturing in some contexts and aggressive, jealous, and demanding in others, and I was just supposed to know when to switch.

                                And there was an amount of vulnerability I was able to display, but beyond that I'd get told to suck it up.

                                I think somebody needs to come up with an ad campaign that's Therapy For Men. Big sweaty hairy guys with thick beards looking after each other's mental health like BROs. It worked to get men to use soap.

                                (Seriously, I think counseling is too female-coded for a lot of men to be comfortable with it unless they're fucking the person, or they start to want to fuck the person because they're unused to talking about things).

                                bahnd@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bahnd@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #226

                                My mental image the solution of your last paragraph is a guy and their counsoler just chatting outside chopping firewood or other simple/quiet lawn work.

                                "I need a therapist, and a lumberjack"

                                E 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • F [email protected]

                                  If some men thought the solution to loneliness was fucking a toaster I'd think less of them too, yeah. At least find a tool that suits the purpose, talking to the AI is just self harm.

                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #227

                                  Again, so you think the solution to someone that self harms is to blame them for performing the act. You're a genius, you know that?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • doom@ttrpg.networkD [email protected]

                                    Please quote me. I said he's being sexist which he is.

                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #228

                                    You're pissy, jaded and uncomfortable with the concept of being wrong. Classic men shit.

                                    Here you go.

                                    doom@ttrpg.networkD 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • doom@ttrpg.networkD [email protected]

                                      Sure buddy keep hating women or whatever the point of your comment was.

                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #229

                                      You really can't read, can you? My comment is simple enough it would take a cock-up of epic proportions to not get my point.

                                      doom@ttrpg.networkD 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • T [email protected]

                                        so are we going to help them, or are we going to wash our hands of them and let the problem fester and grow?

                                        incels need positive reinforcement to loop them out of their cognitive loop. not shame and harassment that further entrenches it.

                                        the easiest way to get someone who is hateful about some group or thing... is to introduce them to it in a positive manner.

                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #230

                                        The problem with that is you are then putting the burden on a member of that hated group to present themselves as a paragon and suffer all the vitriol and abuse that gets hurled at them until the hateful person hopefully snaps out of it.

                                        Having been the sole woman in many male-dominated spaces, I gotta tell ya, it is a special kind of hell to try to be that positive example.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • don@lemmy.caD [email protected]

                                          “The way I do things is how everyone should do things, because what works for me will unquestionably work for everyone else.” – You

                                          doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                                          doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #231

                                          Imagine arguing being a nicer person is a bad thing?

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