Thoughts on co-sleeping ?
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I can sympathize, I was a nightmare for my parents growing up not being able to sleep. Though I usually was caught reading or playing video games instead. ADHD can be very hard to deal with and I wish you the best of luck
Though I usually was caught reading or playing video games instead
same, except the incandescent bulb night lamp would make me get out of the sheets in no time, exposing the light to the corridor
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I have experience with this. There is nothing damaging about co-sleeping occasionally. The risk is either of you becoming dependent.
A 27 year old single mother, if I had to guess, doesn't plan on staying single forever. At some point a significant other, once properly introduced, will be staying the night and your son should not be a part of that.
The other issue I see here is "it's kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night." This does not strike me as healthy, especially when he stops co-sleeping.
Ultimately, you are the adult, and you are the caretaker. I would highly recommend getting your son a regular therapist to guide you through this.
What's wrong with that statement? I feel like I prefer not sleeping alone as well but I don't have a problem when I do it.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
If it's not causing any issues, don't worry about it. If it seems to be causing a dependency or increased anxiety around sleeping alone, then maybe it's not a good idea. There doesn't seem to be any consensus among psychologists. Some like it, some hate it. So the best you're going to be able to do is keep track of how it affects you both and change things up if it becomes a problem.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I'll just put this out there: Would it feel less weird to you if it was your daughter?
Anecdotally, I had a friend who crawled up to cosleep with her single mom even as a teenager and student sometimes. Especially when she wasn't doing well. Being a family of 2 brings you very close together, and also unfortunately, makes you the only super close person in their lives. She liked to cuddle up with friends too occasionally. It never seemed off or weird.
She might be hypersensitive (although this is not a recognized diagnosis), but otherwise, she is developmentally (and sexually) absolutely standard. She's 33 now and does very well in life and with her boyfriend.
What I mean by that is that it might seem more unconventional to cosleep with someone of the opposite sex who is starting puberty. Being a girl, having a girl friend, and this girl friend liking to sleep with me, another friend, or her mom as company was never weird. All other friends also thought that's fine. I think that's that girl privilege where we are more comfortable with closeness. So, if you felt weird if it was your daughter too, it might just not be for you (although you mentioned you slept better). If it's about the gender (some subconscious bias), it's still your child. Just your child.
Last but not least, there are more than enough people around the world who share a room or even a bed with family members until a bigger age. A friend of mine coslept with 8 silblings since there was just no room. Especially with a voluntary cosleeping situation, I would rather try to focus on the benefits it gives you two - closeness, connection, a feeling of safety, and knowing you're there for each other. Also through changes in life.
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Holy shit I feel like I had a similar kind of issue and I've never heard anyone talk about it before. Childhood tinnitus and sleeping issues. Literally never had anyone else write anything remotely similar to my experience.
I slept on the floor of my sibling's room instead of my parents. I have always suspected that I had a form of tinnitus even as a young child. I would get paranoid that the sounds of the tinnitus were some other entity in the room and get scared. You know how like you can sometimes "hear" when someone behind you even though they don't make a sort of obvious sound? That's how mine has always been for me. For me, it wasn't that I needed noise to drown it out. It was that having someone else in the room made me feel safe enough to sleep.
My tinnitus if that's what it really is has always constantly and incessantly warbled in intensity and directionality, which propogates the feeling of something suddenly being there. It's not the classical "eee" noise that people think of when they think tinnitus.
I remember as a child thinking when people would talk about the "sounds of silence" that they just meant this noise lol.
I've never been diagnosed with tinnitus, but I've been living with it for decades. I mostly have a low-level, staticky whine, but sometimes I'll have attacks that are high-pitched, loud, and painful. I will also rarely have bouts where my hearing is muffled and definitely feels like someone is behind you blocking ambient sounds. The in front of you part is probably blocked out by our eyes showing nothing there.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
seems unusual, at 13 i already hated sleeping with a family member in different beds, because he was constantly hovering over as a "helicopter parent" who he thought took it upon himself.
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
How cares what people say, just do what feels right.
Don’t underestimate the need for physical touch. Most people are starved of physical touch, rather than having too much of it, especially males.
Male teenagers will stop sleeping with parents once they start masturbating, so your problem is going to be short-lived.
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How cares what people say, just do what feels right.
Don’t underestimate the need for physical touch. Most people are starved of physical touch, rather than having too much of it, especially males.
Male teenagers will stop sleeping with parents once they start masturbating, so your problem is going to be short-lived.
Male teenagers will stop sleeping with parents once they start masturbating, so your problem is going to be short-lived.
...or you're going to have a completely different more terrifying problem
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Male teenagers will stop sleeping with parents once they start masturbating, so your problem is going to be short-lived.
...or you're going to have a completely different more terrifying problem
Lol. This is not porn
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Lol. This is not porn
Yeah, she said son, not stepson
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Lol. This is not porn
Wanted to point out Oedipus and Electra complexes. Began reading. Should not be reading.
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Yeah, she said son, not stepson
Lol, yes. Point to be noted
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Lol. This is not porn
It's got a name for a reason, Oedipus complex
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
My parent spidey senses are tingling. Besides the ADHD, is there anything else happening in his life? Major life change (changing school; new friends, etc)? He may not feel comfortable vocalizing yet if there is in fact something affecting him
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I’m a 27 year old single mother and I have a 12 year old son. Recently he’s been knocking on my door in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep and he asks to sleep with me. I’ve been letting him since neither of us really have a problem with it and it’s kind of nice not having to sleep alone every night. However, I’ve heard and seen some things online that seem controversial about co-sleeping with a child past a certain age. I definitely don’t want to negatively affect his development, so I guess what are your thoughts?
At 12 I kind of doubt any mind-tricks are required. If the kid wants to cuddle why not?
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My parent spidey senses are tingling. Besides the ADHD, is there anything else happening in his life? Major life change (changing school; new friends, etc)? He may not feel comfortable vocalizing yet if there is in fact something affecting him
Now that you say this, I had a talk recently with him about me wanting to date again and the possibility of a stepdad
