Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end?
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Hi. I’m you. It’s weird reading something so fucking … exact.
I’m sorry you went through that.
Thanks for confirming I'm not alone in this, and sorry you've experienced the same.
People tend to think marriage breakdowns happen for obvious reasons, like infidelity, laziness, just losing interest. It's scary to think that you can tick all the right boxes but it can all fall apart anyway, because we as individuals can fall apart.
We need to do so much more for mental health support.
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Does that mean you're too immature now? (Serious question)
No it just meant that she wanted different things as she got older.
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My wife started fucking a coworker she supervised, another woman, so she had me arrested, lied to the police and child services, then send my terminally ill mother to the hospital to die so she could move the lover into my house, emptied my bank account, maxed out my credit card, stole my work computers, posesiones, most belongings, and truck, Then blocked me from seeing my child, one I raised as a stay at home dad while she worked/fucked around. I am $18k in debt, with a bullshit arrest record and sleeping in my car.
Do I win?
I regret I only have one up vote to give you.
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She sounds like she has no idea who she is and you were part of finding that out.
I highly recommend watching the comedy special by Daniel Sloss called Jigsaw. It explains quite nicely why we get into relationships that don't make us happy..
Yeah, I think that's the right interpretation. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll look it up!
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She flipped on a switch one day and was just a completely different person than the one I fell in love with. Caught her attempting to cheat on me and when I confronted her about it she said she never actually gave a shit about me. She was abusive both verbally and physically. I endured her bullshit for 5 years because I simply couldn't afford to get divorced and she refused to leave. I am still technically married afaik unless she filed for divorce after I moved out (California only needs one party to file). I cared more about getting away from her than about government bureaucracy.
The whole thing made me stop believing in love, and I trust people a helluva lot less than I did before.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]The truth is that there are many compatible potential partners out there for any given person. You've had a bad experience but there are other people out there who you could have a true, mutual relationship with (when you're ready to look for that again).
Edit: Was responding to you being "done with love" but not phrasing it well. I suppose I mean that you might get more from relationships by not putting Love on a pedastal.
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Yeah. We had a kid so we were more co-parenting than anything. We stayed friendly. Well, after a while. I was pretty hurt but eventually it all passed. And now I'm way better off. Im married again and this time I can tell it's for keeps. We have our ups and downs but we both want it to last so we each work hard at it. Also, after all the child support, and kid coming of age after some pretty rough teen years, there was some heavy feelings and drama. My wife and I made an agreement that we'd never divorce; there could be a gun and a shovel either way, but no divorce.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Nice to hear a happy ending... At least I think that's happy, your "gun and shovel" comment is a bit omninous unless it's an idiom I've not heard before.
Edit: Fairly sure it's innocuous but just in-case - pls don't murder your wife
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The trans widows things is extreme, but it would really be nice if the spouses of trans people had space to acknowledge that this is not what they signed up for, and while trans people should always be supported, their spouses DO have the right to say no, I don't feel the same way about you without being made to feel badly for not just going along with it all. I would be supportive if it happened to me, but I would not be attracted to them any longer.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]One of my childhood friends had a partner who discovered she was trans while they were in a long-term relationship. They tried to make it work but I think that only caused the whole situation to become messier.
Didn't help that both of them were living with my friend's mother and the partner who was transitioning refused to get a job.
Edit: Childhood friend is a woman; her ex is an MTF woman. Just to be clear on the circumstances.
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My wife started fucking a coworker she supervised, another woman, so she had me arrested, lied to the police and child services, then send my terminally ill mother to the hospital to die so she could move the lover into my house, emptied my bank account, maxed out my credit card, stole my work computers, posesiones, most belongings, and truck, Then blocked me from seeing my child, one I raised as a stay at home dad while she worked/fucked around. I am $18k in debt, with a bullshit arrest record and sleeping in my car.
Do I win?
Why did you even married her in the first place?
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My ex wife made a claim that I hit her. She thought it would help her win the divorce.
Officially I have to check the box on forms saying yes I have in fact EVER been charged with domestic violence.
I’m the only person involved with a memory of the event she made up, because I have to maintain records of it and charges being dropped and everything. For work.
Investigators ask me, I have to say yes. I describe the situation and what happened and they give me the side eye “yeah sure ok, wife beater” and then my ex-wife doesn’t even remember the situation.
The good news is I have sole custody of our child. A judge saw the real of it when it mattered.
that's completely fucked mate
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Let's start with the fact that we met at 14. This is important because my attraction to her was because she was (and still is) incredibly hot. 100lbs, hourglass, eyes that made me melt.
Well, all four years of highschool I was tutoring her through her remedial classes. She just barely graduated. As always though, thinking with your dick gets you in trouble.
I helped her start work on a two year degree she had a pell grant and scholarship for - that she couldn't finish. Which of course she blamed on me because I was "too involved in my own education."
She questioned the necessity of vaccines for a long time. Thankfully I got her opinion changed before we had a kid.
I remember when we first started dating she told me I "didnt have to be so smarty all the time." I asked her what she meant and she said "well, have you tried like not thinking or learning everything you want to know?"
I felt bad for her. She couldn't stand most jobs. I had this feeling I needed to be with her because she really had a dismal future. So I married her. I mean, come on, she's hot. Maybe she can cook (she couldn't cook well), or doesn't mind chores, and she can be a little supportive. Plus, I would make enough that she wouldn't need to work. And she really wanted to be a stay at home mom. Worked for me.
She couldn't do the stay at home mom. She hated that "I got to work a job I liked" and she "had to be responsible."
Fast forward a bit. She gets a job. She messes around with her boss, meets a customer has a "one time thing" with him. I'm crushed beyond belief. COVID comes around. I feel terrible about the potential for divorcing her. We try to work it out, im suspicious about the amount of time she spends with other men, she convinces me I'm too controlling. I discover her sexting nudes n stuff 3 years after the affair and she admits to it being the same guy (who I never found out who it was). She finally gets a job when I decide to divorce, but it comes with no benefits. Because she doesn't want to work full or part time.
There's more, but honestly I'm kind of done for now lol.
"well, have you tried like not thinking or learning everything you want to know?"
Speaks volumes.
