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  3. Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.

Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
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  • B [email protected]

    Other times they just need to pay people to give them excuses to lay off people. McKinsey’s always available for that.

    What would you say... you do here?

    V This user is from outside of this forum
    V This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #22

    Bob, Bob.

    K 1 Reply Last reply
    9
    • B [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      M This user is from outside of this forum
      M This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #23

      Insane how quickly the HBO brand went from penthouse to basement.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

        So many morons getting paid way to much money to make stupid decisions.

        P This user is from outside of this forum
        P This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #24

        It's management 101.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • B [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          iavicenna@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
          iavicenna@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
          #25

          Business consultations always look like such huge grifts. Here is the reason why they are so expensive though: many times startups and companies that take consultation fail and declare bankruptcy and don't pay the consultancy fees they were supposed to pay. So they charge others extra to (over) compensate. I wonder how they justify their existence, probably by coming up with some made up statistics about how they make many companies more successful. I am pretty sure they are also behind AI enshittification by suggesting companies to jump on the band wagon.

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          • iavicenna@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

            Business consultations always look like such huge grifts. Here is the reason why they are so expensive though: many times startups and companies that take consultation fail and declare bankruptcy and don't pay the consultancy fees they were supposed to pay. So they charge others extra to (over) compensate. I wonder how they justify their existence, probably by coming up with some made up statistics about how they make many companies more successful. I am pretty sure they are also behind AI enshittification by suggesting companies to jump on the band wagon.

            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #26

            They’re expensive because they’re cover for the executives to make a move. The executives can shield liability and justify any change by saying they did it in consultation with a big firm. It’s virtually impossible to pierce that with a lawsuit.

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            • R [email protected]

              Well, consulting is often used because they need an answer to a question. That may be open-ended like:

              "What moves should we make to expand our business?"

              But other times they just want confirmation:

              "Should we merge with Discovery?" (Sure, I guess. Here are some reasons you could. cha-ching)

              "Should we split with Discovery?" (Sure, I guess. Here are some reasons you could. cha-ching)

              Other times they just need to pay people to give them excuses to lay off people. McKinsey's always available for that.

              S This user is from outside of this forum
              S This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by [email protected]
              #27

              McKinsey:

              For when you have no fucking clue how to do your job, and want authoritative, plausible deniability about that.

              K 1 Reply Last reply
              26
              • B [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                K This user is from outside of this forum
                K This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #28

                They've developed a perpetual consulting loop. Genius.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • M [email protected]

                  Their new company split is not splitting Warner Brothers from Discovery though. They are splitting the company in a different way.

                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #29

                  For your added nuance and insight, submit an invoice for a couple hundred K. Seems about right for a full minute of work.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • jballs@sh.itjust.worksJ [email protected]

                    When Chipotle got a new CEO (Brian Niccol, who has since become the Starbucks CEO) a few years back, they were headquartered in Denver. But the CEO lived in Newport Beach. So they brought in a consulting management firm to examine where the best place in the country was for them to have their corporate headquarters.

                    After weeks of analysis - surprise, surprise - they determined that the best place they could possibly have a corporate headquarters was in Newport Beach, where the CEO lived.

                    So they fired most of their corporate workers and moved the office to be closer to the CEOs house.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #30

                    “Sorry we don’t do remote work and you’ll have to come into the office.”

                    “Counterpoint: …”

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • B [email protected]

                      Don’t forget that they also leverage institutional assets to extract value using best practices!

                      peppycito@sh.itjust.worksP This user is from outside of this forum
                      peppycito@sh.itjust.worksP This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #31

                      We'll circle back to that.

                      K 1 Reply Last reply
                      26
                      • brunbrun6766@lemmy.worldB [email protected]

                        McKinsey is a company not a person

                        L This user is from outside of this forum
                        L This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                        #32

                        Ackshually, they're considered moral persons. ☝️🤓

                        I know, it takes a second for the vomit to slide back down one's throat.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • B [email protected]

                          Other times they just need to pay people to give them excuses to lay off people. McKinsey’s always available for that.

                          What would you say... you do here?

                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #33

                          Look, I already told you: I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills. I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that!? What the hell is wrong with you people!!

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • peppycito@sh.itjust.worksP [email protected]

                            We'll circle back to that.

                            K This user is from outside of this forum
                            K This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #34

                            Can I talk to you offline?

                            T 1 Reply Last reply
                            11
                            • V [email protected]

                              Bob, Bob.

                              K This user is from outside of this forum
                              K This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #35

                              Naga-naga-nagonna work here anymore, anyway

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              4
                              • S [email protected]

                                You aint wrong, McKinsey is the ultimate job farm for mid grade nepo babies and/or elite school graduates.

                                For example, Ursula von der Leyen hired McKinsey for German Army re-org...

                                then both of her children got plush jobs at the firm, her daughters 3 years there then leveraged into elite degree a Stanford

                                https://fsi.stanford.edu/people/johanna-von-der-leyen

                                Johanna joins the Ford Dorsey Master’s in International Policy from McKinsey’s Sustainability Practice. During her 3.5 years at the management consultancy, she advised private sector clients from various industries on sustainability strategies and developed reports on climate risk with the McKinsey Global Institute. During her parental leave from McKinsey, she received a Master of Philosophy in Environmental Policy from the University of Cambridge (UK). She also holds a bachelor’s degree in Politics and Economics from the University of Münster. At Stanford, Johanna hopes to deepen her knowledge in integrating environmental policies into the dynamics of international policymaking. Her academic interests also include nature- and climate-related risk assessment and adaptation, and particularly the role of nature-based solutions. Johanna is an outdoor enthusiast, a passionate dressage rider who participated in competitions on the highest national level in Germany, and she enjoys running and gardening in her spare time.

                                There is a club, and most people see it before their eyes and still somehow manage to not see it for it is.

                                Just work harder!

                                jqubed@lemmy.worldJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                jqubed@lemmy.worldJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #36

                                Wait, she went on parental leave from her job, as in having a newborn baby, and used that time to get a master’s degree? Either the baby didn’t spend much time with mom or the degree is a joke, because I have a really hard time imagining having the energy to work on a serious master’s degree in a year or less while taking care of an infant!

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                                • K [email protected]

                                  Can I talk to you offline?

                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #37

                                  Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturiser, then an anti-ageing eye balm followed by a final moisturising protective lotion.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • B [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #38

                                    On the other hand, they're grifting Zaslav, who is possibly the worst person in show business, so...maybe let them cook.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    8
                                    • R [email protected]

                                      Well, consulting is often used because they need an answer to a question. That may be open-ended like:

                                      "What moves should we make to expand our business?"

                                      But other times they just want confirmation:

                                      "Should we merge with Discovery?" (Sure, I guess. Here are some reasons you could. cha-ching)

                                      "Should we split with Discovery?" (Sure, I guess. Here are some reasons you could. cha-ching)

                                      Other times they just need to pay people to give them excuses to lay off people. McKinsey's always available for that.

                                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #39

                                      Sounds like a job that would be easy to replace with ChatGPT.

                                      G 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • B [email protected]

                                        Don’t forget that they also leverage institutional assets to extract value using best practices!

                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #40

                                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu3ETgAvQrw

                                        G 1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • B [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #41

                                          Isn't the google ceo a McKinsey stooge?

                                          aramova@infosec.pubA crackhappy@lemmy.worldC A 3 Replies Last reply
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