I personally shy away from the idea of binary labels.

[aldente@sh.itjust.works]

I personally shy away from the idea of binary labels. Whenever you have two opposing extremes, I find hard to believe that someone can be the 100% embodiment of one and 0% of the other. Whether it’s ‘authoritarian/libertarian’, ‘left/right’, ‘straight/gay’, ‘neurotypical/neurodivergent’, or even ‘male/female’, I see all of these as a spectrum. Whenever binary opposites exist, I believe we all fall somewhere in the middle.

To say that someone is 0% man or 0% woman seems to reinforce the idea that these labels are based on physical characteristics, concrete, and/or absolute. If you believe that personal identity is fluid, and that change is constant, then how can you reckon with the idea of someone being 100% either? It won’t be possible to swing upward passed 100%, so the only other option is down; into the gray area and constantly wavering over time.

As for myself, I might have been born with a penis, but have plenty of characteristics that I would not consider “manly.” I strongly prefer to sit on a toilet to rather than use a urinal, I’ve worn a skirt around my home and fantasized about having breasts and beautiful hair, and my Spotify wrapped from last year classified me as a “pink Pilates princess”. I’m absolutely not presenting these to declare myself a woman, but I suspect each of these admissions would diminish my standing as “man”, especially in a non-anonymous environment.

If anyone was ever unsure about their gender identity, experimenting, or just non-committal to a binary gender assignment, I can see how a having another individual assign this black/white classification on them (and banning them as a consequence) would be incredibly stressful and harmful to their wellbeing. With how gray gender identity can be, it is no surprise if someone in this mindset doesn’t push back with a claim of the opposite binary choice than the sex on their birth certificate. I believe this kind of moderation serves to reinforce conservative societal norms and discourage empathy across the gender spectrum.