What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?
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"I'm, uh, gluten intolerant. And I don't eat processed foods."
Literally not even once. But keep strawmanning the homeless to make yourself feel better
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When I was driving through an area frequently that had a large amount of homeless I'd pack a few extra sandwiches, granola bars and bottles of water to give out. I also kept gallon bags and a large bag of dog food for those who had dogs. I never once had someone turn down food and ask for money instead.
Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]In the northeastern U.S. I've mostly learned to acknowledge them, don't give anything, and move on with my life.
Not sure if it's bad luck or what, but nearly every time I've tried to be nice and offer them something it always backfires. I'll be passing by with some food and they'll ask me for some, I give them some and then they tell me it wasn't enough and to give them all the food I was carrying. Like WTF?
Another time I actually had some change on me so I gave him some and he said it wasn't enough money and started following me, wanted me to go to an ATM so I can take out more money for him. I was forced to tell him to stop following me or I'd have to call the cops.
I have even more stories like that.. going through those motions repeatedly it feels like the homeless have taught me not to give to the homeless. But hopefully your experiences have better outcomes.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
simple answer: if I have any I can afford to give, I give it. Sometimes I have not had any and in various cases taken someone out for a meal or given them a meal from my plate. but mostly just money.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I donate to a charity that I know will help (they've helped family members in the past), Shelter, but I genuinely say to those who ask me around my town that I have no change
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
If I know, I‘ll probably pass someone asking for money, I try to have some change prepared, so I don’t have to get out my wallet. (Where I live, there are just a few places where that’s likely. ) I usually just say no if unprepared.
My basic assumption is that someone asking for money in the streets is worse off than me, so it’s nice if I can help.
But then again, if I don’t feel safe, I won’t give anything and since I can’t help everyone I don’t feel bad not giving anything. -
This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
My grandmother who raised me always did the "I don't have any money on me" thing. And I always followed suit until pretty recently. But I got to thinking more about it and eventually concluded that I should always keep a $20 or two in my pocket ready to give.
And then the pandemic came along and I didn't go out much. And now I work from home full time and don't often go anywhere that I'm likely to run into folks asking for money. But I have put that into practice a few times and felt good about it.
There was a woman with a sign standing outside the post office. I ignored her on the way in with the intention of giving her a $20 on the way out. And I made good on that intention. It was scary, but only because I'm kindof an agoraphobe. Heh.
I do have the means to go handing out $20s willy-nilly. And of course with how infrequently I'm likely to pass folks asking for money out in the world, the rate at which I give is tiny. But I do give when that situation comes up.
I'm not saying you should give $20s out to folks. But if your financial situation is stable, I'd say you should give what you can in those situations.
And the fact that these thoughts/questions/concerns are rattling around in your mind are probably a sign of personal growth, so good on you for that.
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Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
Yeah you gotta mostly ignore the homeless where I’m at. Heavy meth, fentanyl area. Street violence is not uncommon. Just keep it moving and don’t loiter too long if you know what’s good lol
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.
I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.
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Literally not even once. But keep strawmanning the homeless to make yourself feel better
Uh...I was just playing off of your last sentence, where you brought up the idea that someone could turn down food. I was imagining a scenario where someone would do that.
You can get down off your high horse if you'd like.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Keep an amount of change on you that you won’t miss, it doesn’t have to be 20s or even 1s. Even if it’s just 20 or 30 cents, it will be appreciated. And if it’s not, that person either has some serious mental health issues that are making them lash out (most likely) or they’re scamming (unlikely but not impossible). You’re not going to look like the asshole in that situation if you just walk away.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]My standard is to say something like "I don't have any cash to share, good luck to you though." I work in homeless services and know a ton of folks who survive on panhandling. In my area, people have no problem finding food, there are a ton of social service orgs and churches that provide food daily.
The following is not a judgment and is a generalization that is far from universal. This is just a description of what I commonly observe. The unfortunate reality is that much of the money people get from panhandling goes to purchasing cigarettes, alcohol, meth, K2, crack, and/or fentanyl. For this reason I avoid giving people money directly.
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, and if you feel bad for not giving someone money because you feel the inequality, consider donating your time or money to organizations in your area that are doing the work to help people gain employment or housing, meet their basic needs, or treat their physical or mental health needs.
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When I was driving through an area frequently that had a large amount of homeless I'd pack a few extra sandwiches, granola bars and bottles of water to give out. I also kept gallon bags and a large bag of dog food for those who had dogs. I never once had someone turn down food and ask for money instead.
If possible, do not give food unless it is sealed. I prefer to give out canned food with a pull tab or sealed items like protein bars and granola bars. Many unhoused people throw away open items like sandwiches given to them by random people for their own safety, and I can't blame them
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Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
You sure this isn't a scene in scary movie?
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I used to give them a cigarette. I quit though.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I tell them I'm homeless myself and wish them good luck.
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If possible, do not give food unless it is sealed. I prefer to give out canned food with a pull tab or sealed items like protein bars and granola bars. Many unhoused people throw away open items like sandwiches given to them by random people for their own safety, and I can't blame them
Protein is always a good choice because that's what you get the least in shelters and it's also the most important (aside from water of course).
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I haven’t carried cash for several years, so I just say, “I don’t carry money.”
There have been instances where I’ve bought a person something to eat, but that’s about it. There’s really nothing more I can do to help a person.
Then I may try to recommend any community services I know of, but they’re usually more informed about those than I am.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I never carry cash on me, not even small change, so I tell them honestly that I have nothing to give.
Instead, I donate regularly to local charities (my employer even manages one) and have volunteered time for outreach programs when I am able. Addressing the acute needs of a single person might make you feel good, but the data shows that it's more effective to address homelessness at a systemic level.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
It’s not common to see homeless people where I live, so I recognize every one that has asked me for money. I give them a small amount each time or buy them staple foods from the grocery stores (they usually wait outside of the entrance). I don’t think I could afford to do that if there were many of them, so I guess I would be honest when I don’t have anything to spare and give when I have enough.
