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Rule 1. No party pooping

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adhd
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  • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD This user is from outside of this forum
    db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    OK, I've seen enough of these comments that I need to make the first rule.

    Do not make condescending comments like "This is just normal things everyone does, not your self-diagnosed ADHD." or "Everyone has ADHD now /s"

    This is a meme community for ADHD people, not your personal soapbox. We don't care why you think we find these relatable.

    Making comments like these is causing those posting these memes to be discouraged, and dismissing their lived experiences. Don't be that person.

    Just for the record, not every ADHD person is the same. I don't identify with all of these memes, nor do I think they're all necessarily ADHD-related. But even as someone with ADHD, I recognize that not every reacts the same way and I don't know all the possible symptoms of it. And If I, with diagnosed ADHD can't know that, you, a random lemming, certainly don't know either!

    Likewise, if you find most of these memes relatable, you might have ADHD, or you might have Autism, or both! These two are close cousins, their symptoms overlap and they have a high comorbidity with each other. Relating too much with ADHD memes is a typical first step which led a lot of people to realizing they had it! Feel free to read up on the ADHD symptoms and get diagnosed if you think it's currently affecting your life significantly.

    That said, anyone making this sort of comments, is gonna get a one-week ban from this community for party pooping. If you want to complain that "everyone has ADHD now" or some shit, go do it elsewhere. Naturally we use common sense. It's OK to ask questions in good faith.

    As always, this is a "fuck around and find out" rule. We'll know it when we see it.

    PS: Since we added a new rule, I could also use some mods to enforce it. If any of you is up for this, lemme know. I will only add people who I've seen interact with this or other ADHD communities positively.

    And here's an extremely relevant meme to lighten the mood:

    V orca@orcas.enjoying.yachtsO W 3 Replies Last reply
    21
    • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD [email protected]

      OK, I've seen enough of these comments that I need to make the first rule.

      Do not make condescending comments like "This is just normal things everyone does, not your self-diagnosed ADHD." or "Everyone has ADHD now /s"

      This is a meme community for ADHD people, not your personal soapbox. We don't care why you think we find these relatable.

      Making comments like these is causing those posting these memes to be discouraged, and dismissing their lived experiences. Don't be that person.

      Just for the record, not every ADHD person is the same. I don't identify with all of these memes, nor do I think they're all necessarily ADHD-related. But even as someone with ADHD, I recognize that not every reacts the same way and I don't know all the possible symptoms of it. And If I, with diagnosed ADHD can't know that, you, a random lemming, certainly don't know either!

      Likewise, if you find most of these memes relatable, you might have ADHD, or you might have Autism, or both! These two are close cousins, their symptoms overlap and they have a high comorbidity with each other. Relating too much with ADHD memes is a typical first step which led a lot of people to realizing they had it! Feel free to read up on the ADHD symptoms and get diagnosed if you think it's currently affecting your life significantly.

      That said, anyone making this sort of comments, is gonna get a one-week ban from this community for party pooping. If you want to complain that "everyone has ADHD now" or some shit, go do it elsewhere. Naturally we use common sense. It's OK to ask questions in good faith.

      As always, this is a "fuck around and find out" rule. We'll know it when we see it.

      PS: Since we added a new rule, I could also use some mods to enforce it. If any of you is up for this, lemme know. I will only add people who I've seen interact with this or other ADHD communities positively.

      And here's an extremely relevant meme to lighten the mood:

      V This user is from outside of this forum
      V This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Also should be underlined that ADHD is sometimes called an "invisible handicap" because a lot of the symptoms are just much worse versions of things neurotypicals deal with too.

      Example: everyone can have trouble motivating themselves for a task they're not passionate about. With ADHD's innate dopamine deficiency,it can be literally impossible without proper coping tools and/or meds, sometimes no matter what.

      A possibly useful analogy would be that sometimes the hill that someone neurotypical has to climb is a mountain for someone with ADHD or similar challenges. Not every neurotypical person understands that their hill can be a mountain or that the person with ADHD can only scale it with the right tools, guidance and a lot more effort.

      P V E 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • V [email protected]

        Also should be underlined that ADHD is sometimes called an "invisible handicap" because a lot of the symptoms are just much worse versions of things neurotypicals deal with too.

        Example: everyone can have trouble motivating themselves for a task they're not passionate about. With ADHD's innate dopamine deficiency,it can be literally impossible without proper coping tools and/or meds, sometimes no matter what.

        A possibly useful analogy would be that sometimes the hill that someone neurotypical has to climb is a mountain for someone with ADHD or similar challenges. Not every neurotypical person understands that their hill can be a mountain or that the person with ADHD can only scale it with the right tools, guidance and a lot more effort.

        P This user is from outside of this forum
        P This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        a lot more effort

        I want to highlight this part. Part of the executive dysfunction is that intrinsic rewards don't feel rewarding OR reward too much.

        Filling out paperwork can be a short 10 minute task, but nuerotypical individuals are rewarded with a small dopamine hit for simply finishing it.
        I don't get any. So anything else that is slightly more interesting captures my attention and energy. In my experience, I get a dopamine hit for avoiding the boring mandatory thing, not so much whatever the thing distracting me is. This quickly snowballs out of control and a 10 minute task took all day.

        Likewise, things that are very interesting to me (video games, hobby stuff, the Wikipedia hole) can trigger a lot of reward and I end up hyperfocusing.

        Adderall helps by reducing the power of those interesting things and increases the reward for doing mundane things.

        S 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • P [email protected]

          a lot more effort

          I want to highlight this part. Part of the executive dysfunction is that intrinsic rewards don't feel rewarding OR reward too much.

          Filling out paperwork can be a short 10 minute task, but nuerotypical individuals are rewarded with a small dopamine hit for simply finishing it.
          I don't get any. So anything else that is slightly more interesting captures my attention and energy. In my experience, I get a dopamine hit for avoiding the boring mandatory thing, not so much whatever the thing distracting me is. This quickly snowballs out of control and a 10 minute task took all day.

          Likewise, things that are very interesting to me (video games, hobby stuff, the Wikipedia hole) can trigger a lot of reward and I end up hyperfocusing.

          Adderall helps by reducing the power of those interesting things and increases the reward for doing mundane things.

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I’ve given this some thought, because I do seem to get satisfaction out of completing tasks, but no motivation to start them in order to get the finishing satisfaction. Or giving up half way through a task when I’ve lost interest. On the other hand, avoidance leads to adrenaline, and that gets me moving. I think that’s where the neuro compensation lies. Not the lack of satisfaction that the task is complete (although mostly I just feel relief not satisfaction), it’s the adrenaline replacing the dopamine.

          reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD [email protected]

            OK, I've seen enough of these comments that I need to make the first rule.

            Do not make condescending comments like "This is just normal things everyone does, not your self-diagnosed ADHD." or "Everyone has ADHD now /s"

            This is a meme community for ADHD people, not your personal soapbox. We don't care why you think we find these relatable.

            Making comments like these is causing those posting these memes to be discouraged, and dismissing their lived experiences. Don't be that person.

            Just for the record, not every ADHD person is the same. I don't identify with all of these memes, nor do I think they're all necessarily ADHD-related. But even as someone with ADHD, I recognize that not every reacts the same way and I don't know all the possible symptoms of it. And If I, with diagnosed ADHD can't know that, you, a random lemming, certainly don't know either!

            Likewise, if you find most of these memes relatable, you might have ADHD, or you might have Autism, or both! These two are close cousins, their symptoms overlap and they have a high comorbidity with each other. Relating too much with ADHD memes is a typical first step which led a lot of people to realizing they had it! Feel free to read up on the ADHD symptoms and get diagnosed if you think it's currently affecting your life significantly.

            That said, anyone making this sort of comments, is gonna get a one-week ban from this community for party pooping. If you want to complain that "everyone has ADHD now" or some shit, go do it elsewhere. Naturally we use common sense. It's OK to ask questions in good faith.

            As always, this is a "fuck around and find out" rule. We'll know it when we see it.

            PS: Since we added a new rule, I could also use some mods to enforce it. If any of you is up for this, lemme know. I will only add people who I've seen interact with this or other ADHD communities positively.

            And here's an extremely relevant meme to lighten the mood:

            orca@orcas.enjoying.yachtsO This user is from outside of this forum
            orca@orcas.enjoying.yachtsO This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Can we somehow ban these types of useless comments from real life too? Because I get them all the time and it’s annoying as fuck. I basically comprise a list in my head of people I will no longer talk to about my personal struggles because they find a way to make it about them.

            db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • orca@orcas.enjoying.yachtsO [email protected]

              Can we somehow ban these types of useless comments from real life too? Because I get them all the time and it’s annoying as fuck. I basically comprise a list in my head of people I will no longer talk to about my personal struggles because they find a way to make it about them.

              db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD This user is from outside of this forum
              db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              If I have to hear another random person say "everyone is diagnosed with ADHD these days"...

              sheeple@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD [email protected]

                If I have to hear another random person say "everyone is diagnosed with ADHD these days"...

                sheeple@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                sheeple@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                The problem with ADHD imo is that it's studied surprisingly poorly so diagnosis is a crapshoot.

                Like bloody hell I was told at a young age "You have ADHD, take these pills" then years later it was "Wait no misdiagnosis you have Autism not ADHD stop taking pills" and it fucked me up hard

                And only recently the doctors figured out you can have BOTH ADHD and Autism and guess what I had both.

                Not me taking a dig at other people with ADHD, I just think the diagnosis system is a dumpster fire because of stuff like the aforementioned "Autistic people can't have ADHD" which fucked me up for YEARS.

                Sorry I just needed somewhere to rant/vent about my own problems tbh

                reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.comD [email protected]

                  OK, I've seen enough of these comments that I need to make the first rule.

                  Do not make condescending comments like "This is just normal things everyone does, not your self-diagnosed ADHD." or "Everyone has ADHD now /s"

                  This is a meme community for ADHD people, not your personal soapbox. We don't care why you think we find these relatable.

                  Making comments like these is causing those posting these memes to be discouraged, and dismissing their lived experiences. Don't be that person.

                  Just for the record, not every ADHD person is the same. I don't identify with all of these memes, nor do I think they're all necessarily ADHD-related. But even as someone with ADHD, I recognize that not every reacts the same way and I don't know all the possible symptoms of it. And If I, with diagnosed ADHD can't know that, you, a random lemming, certainly don't know either!

                  Likewise, if you find most of these memes relatable, you might have ADHD, or you might have Autism, or both! These two are close cousins, their symptoms overlap and they have a high comorbidity with each other. Relating too much with ADHD memes is a typical first step which led a lot of people to realizing they had it! Feel free to read up on the ADHD symptoms and get diagnosed if you think it's currently affecting your life significantly.

                  That said, anyone making this sort of comments, is gonna get a one-week ban from this community for party pooping. If you want to complain that "everyone has ADHD now" or some shit, go do it elsewhere. Naturally we use common sense. It's OK to ask questions in good faith.

                  As always, this is a "fuck around and find out" rule. We'll know it when we see it.

                  PS: Since we added a new rule, I could also use some mods to enforce it. If any of you is up for this, lemme know. I will only add people who I've seen interact with this or other ADHD communities positively.

                  And here's an extremely relevant meme to lighten the mood:

                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I died a little Inside when even my doctor said we all have a little autism.

                  reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR 1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • V [email protected]

                    Also should be underlined that ADHD is sometimes called an "invisible handicap" because a lot of the symptoms are just much worse versions of things neurotypicals deal with too.

                    Example: everyone can have trouble motivating themselves for a task they're not passionate about. With ADHD's innate dopamine deficiency,it can be literally impossible without proper coping tools and/or meds, sometimes no matter what.

                    A possibly useful analogy would be that sometimes the hill that someone neurotypical has to climb is a mountain for someone with ADHD or similar challenges. Not every neurotypical person understands that their hill can be a mountain or that the person with ADHD can only scale it with the right tools, guidance and a lot more effort.

                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    I'm only diagnosed autistic, but I relate really hard to a lot of ADHD memes as well. I like to analogise with:

                    It's like everyone is in their own sinking dinghy. Everyone is bailing water out of their dinghy, but neurotypicals get a bucket and I have a thimble.

                    reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • V [email protected]

                      Also should be underlined that ADHD is sometimes called an "invisible handicap" because a lot of the symptoms are just much worse versions of things neurotypicals deal with too.

                      Example: everyone can have trouble motivating themselves for a task they're not passionate about. With ADHD's innate dopamine deficiency,it can be literally impossible without proper coping tools and/or meds, sometimes no matter what.

                      A possibly useful analogy would be that sometimes the hill that someone neurotypical has to climb is a mountain for someone with ADHD or similar challenges. Not every neurotypical person understands that their hill can be a mountain or that the person with ADHD can only scale it with the right tools, guidance and a lot more effort.

                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      My psychiatrist told me I'm just extremely diciplined and good at coping with ADHD symptoms and getting shit done. She also told me that is the reason I only have energy and a functional brain for about 2 hours a day, as it might be extremely tiring.

                      reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S [email protected]

                        I’ve given this some thought, because I do seem to get satisfaction out of completing tasks, but no motivation to start them in order to get the finishing satisfaction. Or giving up half way through a task when I’ve lost interest. On the other hand, avoidance leads to adrenaline, and that gets me moving. I think that’s where the neuro compensation lies. Not the lack of satisfaction that the task is complete (although mostly I just feel relief not satisfaction), it’s the adrenaline replacing the dopamine.

                        reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                        reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        I find that if it’s a task I am comfortable and familiar with, if off the meds it might be very difficult for me; on the meds is pretty much no problem, and I get the dopamine rush both of addressing a problem that needs to be solved, and from finishing. Tasks I am unfamiliar with, or have not done for a very long time, or I’ve never done before? Virtually impossible to begin, meds or no.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • E [email protected]

                          My psychiatrist told me I'm just extremely diciplined and good at coping with ADHD symptoms and getting shit done. She also told me that is the reason I only have energy and a functional brain for about 2 hours a day, as it might be extremely tiring.

                          reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                          reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          Same, maybe? On the meds, I am a workhorse. For 4 hours. Then…crash. Which about sums up my typical workday. Thank goodness for the supplemental adderall sometimes.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • V [email protected]

                            I'm only diagnosed autistic, but I relate really hard to a lot of ADHD memes as well. I like to analogise with:

                            It's like everyone is in their own sinking dinghy. Everyone is bailing water out of their dinghy, but neurotypicals get a bucket and I have a thimble.

                            reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                            reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #13

                            These videos were inordinately helpful for me:

                            https://youtu.be/SJhJKEThpvI

                            https://youtu.be/7kBGUcGeKvM

                            https://youtu.be/ZlFSeamEJbA

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sheeple@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                              The problem with ADHD imo is that it's studied surprisingly poorly so diagnosis is a crapshoot.

                              Like bloody hell I was told at a young age "You have ADHD, take these pills" then years later it was "Wait no misdiagnosis you have Autism not ADHD stop taking pills" and it fucked me up hard

                              And only recently the doctors figured out you can have BOTH ADHD and Autism and guess what I had both.

                              Not me taking a dig at other people with ADHD, I just think the diagnosis system is a dumpster fire because of stuff like the aforementioned "Autistic people can't have ADHD" which fucked me up for YEARS.

                              Sorry I just needed somewhere to rant/vent about my own problems tbh

                              reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                              reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              Your rant-rage is valid.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W [email protected]

                                I died a little Inside when even my doctor said we all have a little autism.

                                reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                                reverendender@sh.itjust.worksR This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                I had a PCP who, when I told her I’m having a lot of trouble at work now that my job has gotten much more complicated, and that I really want to get tested for ADHD, replied, “maybe you don’t have ADHD, maybe this just isn’t the job for you.”

                                I never went back to her.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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