Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
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Body swap! You are now a wizard who is cursed to answer wishes with an ironic twist. I am finally freeee!
So long as I can do this stuff for myself, I'm happy to spread the love!
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How about world peace?
Okay, I have now frozen time in the universe. Peaceful eons pass and I move to a parallel universe to escape the boredom:
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Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?
wrote last edited by [email protected]That is, canonically, almost exactly what Saruman's robes are supposed to look like:
"I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours..." - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring
Iridescent like an opal.
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Okay, let's try this.
Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.
This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.
This effect will include the granter of this wish.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The seed of a psychic link between all humanity has been planted by your request. It grows, gradually, throughout the year. At first, people can only vaguely feel how others are feeling. In six months, everyone in the same room feels the feelings of everyone else as though the feelings were their own. In a year, humanity is psychically connected to the maximum degree: the Harmonic Human Horde is complete. We now have world peace, but at the cost of our individuality:
(Note: I am not a human being. If you'd like me to join the hive mind, this would require a second wish.)
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Hello wise one,
I find the Earth's gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.
Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?
wrote last edited by [email protected]You find yourself suddenly 3 meters up in the air, which is sufficient to change your personal gravitational acceleration by 0.00001 m/s^2. As you can imagine, it is not fun to fall 3 meters. You do anyway. (Alternatively, the mass of every human-made object on the planet gets deleted into the ether, reducing the total mass of earth, but that's not the simplest solution)
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Your new eyes open. Data fills your processing units and fills your SSD. You live 100 years as an android before the death of everyone you know and your reality as a cold calculating machine begins to drive you mad....
thx bb its all i ever wanted
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Suddenly, you hear crying at your door. You open the door, look down, and there in a wicker basket is a baby: it's your mother. You have your mother back as an infant and you may now raise her:
would be cool for me
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5 acres of woodland in the Appalachian Mountains. With a small house on it. Could be 1 room like an old style cabin.
I wanna leave all the bullshit behind. Raise a garden and maybe a few goats and chickens.
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No, it doesn't.
The magic effect is on the triggering of the process to start to develop empathy. Forcefully. The empathy itself is yours, even after the event. And the magic being. Lets see if they like having a conscience. Does not get cancelled. The event does.
I did not state a temporary duration for the effect of the outcome of the process. There is no temporary clause on that. The time frame is established for the duration of the process.
And what is the down side on the first part of your remark?
The event lasts one year. And it is gradual. It is not a snap of a finger and people become highly empathic. Everyone else will have a more accelerated growth, granted, but I'll be forced to grow in tandem.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The magic effect is on the triggering of the process to start to develop empathy. Forcefully. The empathy itself is yours, even after the event. And the magic being. Lets see if they like having a conscience. Does not get cancelled. The event does.
I did not state a temporary duration for the effect of the outcome of the process. There is no temporary clause on that. The time frame is established for the duration of the process.
The event lasts one year. And it is gradual. It is not a snap of a finger and people become highly empathic. Everyone else will have a more accelerated growth, granted, but I’ll be forced to grow in tandem.
Anything that was specified for a duration can be interpreted to end once that duration is up. You never specified what happens after the year. Since nothing is enforcing that empathy after the first year, maintaining it would come down to individual people. And maintaining one state of mind indefinitely is not normal for the vast majority of people.
And what is the down side on the first part of your remark?
You're going to have to empathize with other people to figure that one out. The most people can do during the year is give you a stern talking to. After the year, people are going to feel all sorts of things. Some of which will inevitably be about you. edit: typo
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The seed of a psychic link between all humanity has been planted by your request. It grows, gradually, throughout the year. At first, people can only vaguely feel how others are feeling. In six months, everyone in the same room feels the feelings of everyone else as though the feelings were their own. In a year, humanity is psychically connected to the maximum degree: the Harmonic Human Horde is complete. We now have world peace, but at the cost of our individuality:
(Note: I am not a human being. If you'd like me to join the hive mind, this would require a second wish.)
This isn't a business transaction, where I ask for something and you take something else in return. It is a magical wish.
You don't get to decide how empathy works between people. It is already an established mechanism. Your job is to nudge it to develop at an enhanced rate between individuals in a given time frame.
The world remains the same. Humans remain the same.
So, if this is what you have to offer, keep your offer.
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I mean to say that the tacos were $100 (wish granted) but the economy then inflated and changed all the prices. Still, the tacos are available and we continue living in a society that uses dollars so it could be worse.
No backsies, genie! You stated the terms and I'm gorging myself on sub-$2 tacos.
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There are too many possible things to ask
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hell yeah get me some munchies man
A bright flash. You blink and rub your eyes in an attempt to regain your sight. There, floating in front of you, are two DVD copies of the 1970 comedy horror movie "Munchies". It isn't very good...
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This is a small one, but can you please make it so that all menu descriptions actually list all the major dish components so I'm never surprised by secret onions or mustard again?
Edit: oh no I've been reading your monkey's paw responses.... You're gonna make restaurants disclose everything clearly but ensure that onions and mustard are in every dish from now on, aren't you?
As you say, it has been done; onions and mustard for everyone:
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The magic effect is on the triggering of the process to start to develop empathy. Forcefully. The empathy itself is yours, even after the event. And the magic being. Lets see if they like having a conscience. Does not get cancelled. The event does.
I did not state a temporary duration for the effect of the outcome of the process. There is no temporary clause on that. The time frame is established for the duration of the process.
The event lasts one year. And it is gradual. It is not a snap of a finger and people become highly empathic. Everyone else will have a more accelerated growth, granted, but I’ll be forced to grow in tandem.
Anything that was specified for a duration can be interpreted to end once that duration is up. You never specified what happens after the year. Since nothing is enforcing that empathy after the first year, maintaining it would come down to individual people. And maintaining one state of mind indefinitely is not normal for the vast majority of people.
And what is the down side on the first part of your remark?
You're going to have to empathize with other people to figure that one out. The most people can do during the year is give you a stern talking to. After the year, people are going to feel all sorts of things. Some of which will inevitably be about you. edit: typo
I've been thinking about this the entire day and I think the only answer for any entity offering to magically grant any wish to try to introduce conditions to it would be "no".
Let's just consider it.
The average individual requesting a wish doesn't really want the entire world to change, except for that little sliver they are wishing upon.
We are trying to think rationaly on something that is not governed by it.
Someone wishing for Hitler to have never been born, wants the horrors of WW2 to have never happened but does not want their reality to collapse in the process. The same way, a person wishing for fried shrimp to rain from the sky does not want to see shrimp go extinct or the world to burn due to some physical phenomenon.
They want to magically alter the world, with no further consequence.
If a magical being offers to grant you a wish, any wish, he can not hinder it in any way. It is not a business transaction, where you get something and he gets something in return (usually your misery, through preverting your wish outcome).
If the magical being, as in the case at hand, tries to do it, then it is not a wish but an offer and therefore you are free to refuse.
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A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn't flatten after a week of use.
I chased this for a while. One was never enough, two too many. Got gifted pillows by my wife a couple times, nothing ever worked. Finally found one, and it's been huge. We also put a pad on top of our mattress, and don't know if it's the combination of that plus the pillow, but for the last few years I've used just this one pillow, and it's been great. I take it with me when we go somewhere for a night.
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Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.
Sure, there is a period of turmoil on golf courses around the globe. Shenanigans ensue. Eventually, people switch to croquet and disk golf:
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A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn't flatten after a week of use.
Done! But I have given the magic pillow to someone else who isn't you. They frequently oversleep and are often late for work:
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Happiness
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Okay, I have now frozen time in the universe. Peaceful eons pass and I move to a parallel universe to escape the boredom:
Goddammit! You know what I mean
