Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
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Let's try: I want P=NP
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pair of timbs
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Giant Space Laser that automatically zaps the 100 evilest people in the world each day. Determined by who negatively impacted the quality of life of the most people that day.
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I want you to put a 32-bit buffer into people's brains so that when they're attempting to do evil, when they cross the threshold, it automatically buffer overflows back onto the good side.
I want it to be like, "I was going to rape and murder this school bus full of children, but instead I made them cupcakes".
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Please write BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER permanently into the sky above each continent high enough and large enough to be seen by all. If a continent has a predominant language it can be in that language and if the math and physics work out it could even be by nation or region.
Granted, but sorry about my terrible staff (hand) writing.
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I would also like the ability to bend reality to my will
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Can you curse those with extreme wealth with debillitating back pain? The more above the median you are, the more intense. Make sure the cause is entirely known
Done with a twist: I can't alter others directly due to the Wizard Code of Ethics, but I have applied a curse to make sure the wealthier you are, the less people you can trust.
These people can never fully trust anyone. "Does she love me for me?", "is that new guy just kissing my ass or can I open up to them?" will be thoughts so frequent that it will drive them mad the older and lonelier they get.
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Unbend my back pretty please!
I'm sorry today is all about bending, unbendings only on monday and tuesday between 11:11 - 13:23

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We're low on milk. Also bananas.
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But your toaster is already enchanted?! The toaster struggles with your desires, though. Are you sure you truly want a perfect toast? Or are you perhaps in the way of yourself?
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make everyone happy or at least somewhat comfortable, all the time

Sadly I can't alter the minds of others directly
but I'll be sure to bring cookies to the library (work) on monday to partially grant your wish! -
I wish for another wish
Great, you broke my staff. Happy now?!
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I have some milk in the fridge, could you turn it into good cheese?
Granted, the bacteria are working on it double time. But not faster than that, because the smart little shits unionized.
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I wish for some kick ass tunes!
Granted, you have access to the worlds finest of tunes in the palm of your hands: https://radio.garden/
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Let's try: I want P=NP
My staff just said P≠NP
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pair of timbs
I only learned how to conjure crocs

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Giant Space Laser that automatically zaps the 100 evilest people in the world each day. Determined by who negatively impacted the quality of life of the most people that day.
Done, but it can't penetrate a specific magical shield (sunscreen) and it's eco friendly so it's a bit slow. Gets faster with time though as the evil people keep doing evil things and unfortunately doesn't discriminate who it zaps
wear your magishields (sunscreen)! -
I want you to put a 32-bit buffer into people's brains so that when they're attempting to do evil, when they cross the threshold, it automatically buffer overflows back onto the good side.
I want it to be like, "I was going to rape and murder this school bus full of children, but instead I made them cupcakes".
I can't directly alter humans due to the Wizard Code of Ethics
but I know of a warlock... -
I would also like the ability to bend reality to my will
Wizard school was a scam, just become a sorcerer/ess and save your money.
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We're low on milk. Also bananas.
Oh good because my mana can't handle more than that.