The great millennial garbage gyre
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Welp seeing as how garbage dating apps are due to being optimized to keep you using them instead of actually finding a longterm partner, and all being owned by about 2 or 3 different holding companies...
Might as well shoot my shot here:
36 m, opinionated autist seeking female autist within ... i dunno, +/- 5 my age.
(trans fem ok, ambi gender ok, just please don't be a fully advanced, PHD level bedroom = pigsty goblin)
For more details, see my comment history.
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A confounding issue is the apps themselves have gotten worse over time. Like, old okcupid you could search. You could type in like "final fantasy" or "the Mets" and find people who liked those things enough to put them on their profile.
Now you're limited to whatever the app decides to give you. Well, the app doesn't want you to leave so that incentive doesn't line up.
Fuck me that's bad, last I used it was in 2019, and even then it wasn't fantastic.
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A confounding issue is the apps themselves have gotten worse over time. Like, old okcupid you could search. You could type in like "final fantasy" or "the Mets" and find people who liked those things enough to put them on their profile.
Now you're limited to whatever the app decides to give you. Well, the app doesn't want you to leave so that incentive doesn't line up.
A lot of the more popular ones, okcupid included, all got bought up by Match Group and almost immediately started trending anti-consumer in their updates or removal of features. They want you paying, they don't give a shit about success.
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A lot of the more popular ones, okcupid included, all got bought up by Match Group and almost immediately started trending anti-consumer in their updates or removal of features. They want you paying, they don't give a shit about success.
100%. Match group should be broken up.
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Pretty sure that's how catch a predator got their content.
You'd do way better by doing that in the cheese aisle.
How to Catch a Predator is exactly the opposite - shadowy online interactions where you don’t know what’s really going on.
When an obviously fully adult woman in her cutest yoga pants asks you, an obviously fully adult man, about meat - everyone is 100% aware of the situation.
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
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I saw a girl on tiktok say something similar about how after a shit day at work she will look at hinge and be even further upset about the people who have liked her on hinge, as though this is all she deserves in life.
It sounds extremely depressing out there these days.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Let's be honest, most men that use dating apps are those looking for hookups. So if you're a woman looking for tge same then go ahead but you're not gonna find a long term partner there unless if you're one of the lucky few
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Can someone explain this to me? Are all of the men just setting their age range really low, or is it a matter of all the "good" people being paired up by that age?
You missed the point I think.
It's about dating apps being bad, not options being rare or picky. -
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I have zero sympathy for cis straight people who think they have limited dating options.
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ask for help on pics
I would like to second this point, especially if you're not practiced at taking selfies. I've seen some fine looking men IRL whose profile pictures looked like potato.
It doesn't have to be this way. People like to help, and most would be happy to see you meet someone special. Might as well ask.
Thirded. People like to think that their match will be deep enough to look past something superficial like a bad photo, but that's not how most of us work. People see a decent photo and then check the rest.
You don't have to be a model or movie star. Good lighting. Clothes that fit. A background that's not, like, a dingy bathroom or your car.
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Let's be honest, most men that use dating apps are those looking for hookups. So if you're a woman looking for tge same then go ahead but you're not gonna find a long term partner there unless if you're one of the lucky few
None of the men I know that are using the apps are looking for hookups. There are many such men, but there are lots of people looking for other stuff as well.
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100%. Match group should be broken up.
It's an especially insidious type of monopoly to me because it deals with relationships, they can manipulate millions of people, affecting the creation of their families and kids.
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Let's be honest, most men that use dating apps are those looking for hookups. So if you're a woman looking for tge same then go ahead but you're not gonna find a long term partner there unless if you're one of the lucky few
I don't know a lot of people that use dating apps but in my anecdotal experience all the male friends I know that use them are actually looking for a good long-term relationship. But you're probably right that they are a minority.
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None of the men I know that are using the apps are looking for hookups. There are many such men, but there are lots of people looking for other stuff as well.
most men then
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I'm always surprised to hear people unimpressed with others on dating apps. A couple of my friends have shared their "feeds" and I was struck by how many good-looking people are out there. But they would swipe away from just the smallest turn-offs becoming deal breakers. Like if I saw these people in real life, I would think of them as average looking at worst, many being remarkably attractive. This is in the 20s to mid 30s range like the tweet. I definitely understand deciding you're incompatible based on politics or religion or culture but most of the time it would be for minor quirks. It felt like they were spoiled for choice in my eyes.
But then again, they're in serious long term relationships with conventionally attractive and supportive partners now so maybe being picky pays off. At the time, their reluctance to settle was a very frustrating experience for them.
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A confounding issue is the apps themselves have gotten worse over time. Like, old okcupid you could search. You could type in like "final fantasy" or "the Mets" and find people who liked those things enough to put them on their profile.
Now you're limited to whatever the app decides to give you. Well, the app doesn't want you to leave so that incentive doesn't line up.
Fetlife is like that too. “Find people with the same interests as you!”… select an interest: 120K people! Okay, let me filter by location? No. Filter by age? No. Filter by sex? Guess what, also No. So instead you have to hand scroll through all the entries. I don’t want to spend a lot of time connecting with someone with a common interest if they’re on the other side of the world.
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Welp seeing as how garbage dating apps are due to being optimized to keep you using them instead of actually finding a longterm partner, and all being owned by about 2 or 3 different holding companies...
Might as well shoot my shot here:
36 m, opinionated autist seeking female autist within ... i dunno, +/- 5 my age.
(trans fem ok, ambi gender ok, just please don't be a fully advanced, PHD level bedroom = pigsty goblin)
For more details, see my comment history.
Brave that you’re using your Lemmy profile for your dating profile and that you’re willing to tie those comments to who who actually are in the real world.
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
Hey, can I come to your reunion?
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
Are you’re kidding, that’s the best time to go. Make them regret their choices, both then and now.
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Hey, can I come to your reunion?
Asking for a friend
