What's the dumbest way you've sustained an injury, and what was the injury?
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Original question by: @[email protected]
Tried to open a can with a pair of pliers. Got a nasty cut in the right index finger that had to be stitched.
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Original question by: @[email protected]
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I cut the edges of the mouth lips (rightmost and leftmost zones) while shaving my beard about two months ago, and I still get microcuts because since the zone is so flexible, it tears every time I open my mouth.
It's not even visible, it's just annoying and painful and not healed yet.
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On day 3 of a meth bender, non-stop looking at and Photoshopping porn, paralyzed my ulnar nerve by the way my arm was resting on the armrest. Yes, I sat there that long in the same position. Couldn't feel my pinkie and ring finger for a couple of years. No, I haven't done meth in 20 years.
Sliced my forearm open trying to make a small scratch to do a blood brother thing with my gf. My god, I barely got it to stop bleeding. Now I have what looks like a suicide scar. In other news, I was top-tier at sharpening pocket knives back then.
Hit a brick wall, head on, driving my motorcycle drunk, on an unfamiliar street, at night, wearing dark goggles. The bike exploded into fragments, I got a light concussion.
Broke my femur, most crippling injury to date. Knew my motorcycle brakes were far too worn, drove it anyway. Lady slammed her brakes, guy in front of me did same, I tried to do the same, rammed him from behind.
Using a non-locking pocket knife to trim a washer hose. It folded and cut me to the bone, had to have surgery to repair the extensor tendon. Also using a non-locking pocket knife to work on my motorcycle throttle cable, you guessed it, it folded and cut me to the bone. Have had nerve damage in that fingertip since.
Riding my BMX as a kid, decided to try an endo. Slammed the front brakes at speed with predictable results. Knee hit the asphalt to hard it mashed the skin off. Still got the scar, which matches the one on my other knee from swinging over a lava rock.
Got diverticulitis, 3 times, most painful events of my life. Spent years shitting too hard, developed diverticulosis (little tears/pouches in your intestine that catch food and get infected). Surgery fixed it!
Popped a lung after a night of rigorous sex. Yes, I smoked cigarettes and weed. Also, had a lawn service where I inhaled dust all day. Maybe not so much on me though. Doc said it was common among young men and I had two friends blow a lung in those years.
Lately, my feet have been all fucked up from working at Lowe's (I rage quit BTW). Got some new shoes at the thrift, like walking on clouds. Apparently been wearing a size too small for years.
Bruised/broken my ribs several times, broke my right arm twice, countless broken toes and fingers, and perhaps more than the one concussion described above. At this point in the story I've stopped counting scars.
I can keep going. No idea how I survived my 20s without permanent injury or prison time.
You have lived a very full life in a very short time. What are your plans for your retirement (basically anything after right now)?
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I've broken my pinky toe twice by stubbing it on furniture corners.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I have also broken my pinky twice on the same doorframe on the way from the lunch table to the Xbox 360 in my aunts house.
A third time I only sprained it if I remember correctly.
Didn't keep me from playing on these days though.
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Slipped on the sidewalk in the rain and somehow broke an arm (clean broke it). Needed surgery and 2-night hospital stay. This after climbing multiple mountains without a scratch.
That sucks.
Makes me ponder though:
Humans are more or less designed for nature like mountains/dirt trails. I think sidewalks/asphalt while great designs for society and big cities are actually less ideal for the individual human.
Since living in the city I have learned to respect wet manhole covers.
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Original question by: @[email protected]
I was working with my hands on something and socked myself in the nuts. I think I was deburring a piece of hardened steel and the scraper slipped. It wasn't full wind up and swing but my fist with the scraper had a lot of pressure in and behind it.
I've got plenty of scars and this incident didn't leave one. Not physically. My testicles ache now thinking back on it. Makes me wonder if Mike Tyson ever punched himself in the nuths.
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You have lived a very full life in a very short time. What are your plans for your retirement (basically anything after right now)?
Meh, I'm a GenX slacker, total failure. My best guess is I'll retire to the Philippines with my Filipino wife, see what social security gets me while I rent my Florida house for something fair. Really want to keep the house for my kid's inheritance, or if I croak, my wife's home.
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Dude I know that all of those probably hurt a lot but that sounds like an awesome life.
Dad always said he had been shot, stabbed and blown to hell. Like father, like son.
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Original question by: @[email protected]
Put a rib out of place by dropping a fire extinguisher on myself. I was carrying it cradled in my arms at chest height, big heavy sucker, when I slipped on icy ground and fell flat on my back. I saw the extinguisher seeming to hover in the air and watched it fall towards me like in slow motion. The thought flashed through my mind that it was going to crush my rib cage and I would die right there. Knocked the wind out of me and for the next month or two it hurt to take a really deep breath. A chiropractor said I had a rib out of place - he did some kind of crunch on me and boom, totally fixed. I've never had another stereotypical chiropractor cure like that.
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You have lived a very full life in a very short time. What are your plans for your retirement (basically anything after right now)?
Had a spot or two where I thought it was the end of all things, thought, "Well. I've burned the candle at both ends. Time to die."
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Original question by: @[email protected]
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I was camping as a child, and sitting on my dad's knee around the camp fire. I tucked my knees and arms into my shirt.
My dad let go of me to scratch his head, and I, trapped within my shirt, rolled off his knee and onto a tree root.Broke my collar bone.
Had to canoe out of the campsite the next day. -
Original question by: @[email protected]
Slipped disk from sneezing.
Getting old sucks.
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Original question by: @[email protected]
I once fell asleep with a laptop on my lap that had a horrible heat sink and would basically turn itself off every half hour. My legs were crossed when I fell asleep and my heel was right up against the vent.. Woke up with the laptop still on. Confused. And then PAIN. It has used my heel as a heat sink. MASSIVE burn, horrible pain, like four inch blister, still have the scar twenty years later. Had to wear flip flops for like a month shudder
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Original question by: @[email protected]
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I was teaching my kid how to nail while doing one of those Home Depot kids projects that can you bring home. I held it up to show him and nailed too hard with the way I was holding it that the nail went through and pierced my left hand at the base of thumb all the way to the muscle.
I promptly told him, “that’s why the correct way to nail is to put it on the ground to do this and do not hold it like that, now daddy needs to go get a bandage real quick.”
I cleaned it, bandaged it, finished the project, and then went to the doctor just in case because it was fairly deep.
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I cut the edges of the mouth lips (rightmost and leftmost zones) while shaving my beard about two months ago, and I still get microcuts because since the zone is so flexible, it tears every time I open my mouth.
It's not even visible, it's just annoying and painful and not healed yet.
Is this the Joker origin story?!
Damn man, sorry to hear that.
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Slipped disk from sneezing.
Getting old sucks.
So i'm really lucky with my body rng. I'm 40 and i can still do everything i did at 20. I got back into skateboarding, i go downhilling and shit like that. I never felt old at all. One day, like 2 years ago i was sitting on my pc for an hour or two. I wanted to get up to grab a glass of water, after getting up i immediately crumbled and couldn't get up again. My back hurt like absolute shit for a week and then it went back to normal. Fun times
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Original question by: @[email protected]
In college, my roommate decided to make jello shots in these little shot glasses we had. He and his buddies finished them off and stacked the empty glasses in the room. Ass of a roommate refused to clean them out, so they sat for a little more than a week, at which point I was sick of them enough to clean them myself.
The jello had crystallized around the rim of the glasses, cementing them together, and as I twisted a couple of them apart the crystallized jello sliced into my hand.
My wife still taunts me sometimes for getting cut by jello.
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Is this the Joker origin story?!
Damn man, sorry to hear that.
I hope not haha, it's crazy how such a minor cut doesn't heal for so long,but when you think of the elasticity that lips have it makes sense. So annoying tho.
