Internet filters
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FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE
The dark magics are not to be revealed to one so young.
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Pubic lice.
Public Ice was my rap name in the 90s.
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Sounds like something Strairdrac the Netherwatcher would do.
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OMFG I'm old. Yeah, pubic lice are tiny insects (lice) that live on your junk. VERY itchy, otherwise harmless.
Got 'em once and then they came back a couple of months later. Slept in my dad's guest room after his best friend. Didn't even get laid!
Anyway, once internet porn became a thing everyone started shaving their pubes. That was mostly the end of 'em. Saw a crazy story out of Britain where people were volunteering to host them, keep the species alive for study.
If you catch these rare creatures, like a Pokemon from hell, you need nothing special to kill 'em off. I read the ingredients on a bottle of lice shampoo, nothing more than bug spray (pyrethrins) mixed with shampoo. Shave your junk, mix household bug spray into shampoo, wash every bit of your clothes and bedclothes in hot, soapy water, done. Use pyrethrins! I cannot vouch for any other shit you find in your cabinets!
The beaver is only on the endangered list. Not yet extinct.
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If crabs could read there would be no stopping them.
Probably bears too.
I mean the literate crabs would look creepier. But I could probably take them down with a flame thrower and some butter. Bears on the other hand, I’m not so sure.
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The dark magics are not to be revealed to one so young.
If they learn the secret of the crab computer too early, they’ll never be the same.
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Wait, you are capable of taking care of what your child accesses online without the government censoring the internet for everyone??? That's impossible!
Fascists hate this one simple trick!
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Kaspersky
For a computer security program it is overreaching to the point of ridiculousness.
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If they learn the secret of the crab computer too early, they’ll never be the same.
The world of sideways mathematics is not for you child.
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Public Ice was my rap name in the 90s.
Right, part of Pubic Enemy, weren't you?
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Forbidden knowledge.... You must forget the crab people....
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Russian spyware.
Russian spyware over US spyware over Chinese made hardware.
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wow...Kaspersky really sucks now, huh?
What do you mean? It's great for russian intelligence.
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This design baffles me. If you have your parental software set to block certain things, sure. But why would it need to snitch on attempts to access specific content? If your kid is smart and able to bypass the filter you'd never be notified anyway... So either block it or don't!
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If they teach crabs how to read, there’s a risk their society will advance to the levels seen in Carcinia, leading to a downfall of overcleanliness as king camtcha bleaches the city against the advice of his wizards, throwing the entire old ocean into disarray.
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FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE
I'm not a parent but it must be weird. Hmmm, yes, I think I'm going to establish what is FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE
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Fascists hate this one simple trick!
wrote last edited by [email protected]It's labor doing it in the UK. It's the people who people label fascists saying the internet should be free, at least there. In the US it seems to be the opposite.
Maybe the problem is authoritarians.
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Russian spyware over US spyware over Chinese made hardware.
And at the very top runs Google Chrome, aka corporate spyware.
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I like to pride myself on being knowledgeable enough to clarify and expand on carcinology topics on Lemmy, but I don't know enough about crab neuroscience to know how effective this would be. I'm sorry, Lemmy.
Not very effective.
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Teach the crabs how to read and the next thing you know lobsters will be doing the tango. It's a slippery slope my friends.
