Types of development but more realistic
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I am so sorry to everybody here who never saw the real agile. Yours was likely just wasabi scrum.
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I am so sorry to everybody here who never saw the real agile. Yours was likely just wasabi scrum.
The only people who saw the real agile were people in a ski resort. Every company says they do agile now but favors processes and tools over individuals and interactions.
(The ski resort comment is because I believe the people that wrote the manifesto were at a ski lodge when they did.)
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I think this should show internals of the car and have them all have a finished car but agile is like 50% zipties and AI is just a bunch of wheels and screws in a car shaped contianer.
AI is just a bunch of wheels and screws in a car shaped contianer
At this point, just put the Cybertruck at the end
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I am so sorry to everybody here who never saw the real agile. Yours was likely just wasabi scrum.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]The Cult Of Agile with its Holy Practices that Must Be Done without actual logical and well thought about reasons (instead, the reason are things like "It's What It Says In This Agile Holy Book" and/or "That's What I Saw Other Agile People Do"), is not at all the same as the class of Software Development Processes called Agile.
Then again, Software Development Processes are the kind of thing you tackle at the level of Technical Architect, and since there aren't really that many genuine Technical Architects (with the actual chops, rather than merelly 5-10 years experience in a single kind of development environment and a title obtained from a company that gives fancy titles as "promotion" instead of a proper salary raise) around, Agile is mostly just blindly followed without true understanding of what it does, what it doesn't do, how that is does it or why it cannot do it, and thus were and how it actually adds value and were it doesn't.
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More realistic versions:
Waterfall: the car is "finished" at the end, but replace the engine with a huge roaring fire. The Dev team continues to put the engine fire out and build the engine for 3x the original project duration.
Agile: replace the cute scooter and bicycle with the partial car graphics from Waterfall, but mount a uniccyle seat and then a park bench on top of the partially built car.
AI: the whole thing should always be on fire, and have several spies from different countries taking pictures of it constantly.
In my experience the waterfall one would be either be "a bicycle that was partly transformed into a monster truck when they figured out it needed to carry a lot more load, but kept some bicycle parts" or "a drag car were they installed an engine far too large for the body so it has no hood and the engine is partly out of the car, and yet the car is supposed to be used as a normal city car".
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Add to waterfall that the dev team is replaced by a different team from India who don't speak the same language and are abysmally motivated by abysmal pay. The old devs didn't even leave the keys for the car, and the new ones are perfectly fine with just letting the engine fire exist because it was not in the management spec to put it out.
Their solution was mounting the semi-built old car on top of a new car.
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The real flaw in the diagram is that all the intermediate steps of Agile are usable products. All 5 of those are completed, sellable products. Agile pivots way before any of these become usable.
The skateboard would literally be a plank on top of some wheel axes pinched from a shopping cart, the scooter would just be a flimsy pole stuck through a hole in the "skateboard", the bicycle would be 2 such poles, one with a small piece of wood as a seat and at the front the wheel axis had been moved to be soldered to the front pole so that one rotates with the other.
All of them function only in the technical sense, are awkward to use, don't last long under continuous use and look like shit because they were not done with the right techniques for resilience and have none of the finishing touches needed for ease of use and attractiveness.
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they could invest in hamster-breeder reactor engine, which with enough money injection could create an endless supply of hamsters on wheels competing only for space and attention
In fact, maybe we should run offices like that. Just breed developers in a closed system
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Functional: car, but without moving parts.
Marketing problem. Call it no maintenance.
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First thing I remember, was asking Scrum Master "Why"?
For there were many things I didn't know
And Scrummy always smiled, took me by the hand
Saying, "Someday you'll understand"Well I'm here to tell you now, each and every scrum,
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comesThe time and tears went by, and I collected story points
For there were many things I didn't know
When Scrummy went away, he said "Try to be a PM
And someday you'll understand"Well I'm here to tell you now, each and every scrum,
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comesAnd then, one day in April, I wasn't even there
For there were many things I didn't know
An intern was given to me, Scrummy held his hand,
Saying "Someday you'll understand"Well I'm here to tell you now, each and every scrum
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comes
Ooh, tech debt sprint never comes.Think it was September, the year I went away
For there were many things I didn't know
And I still see him standin', tryin' to be a PM
I said, "Someday you'll understand"Well here I am to tell you, each and every scrum
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comes.
Ooh, tech debt sprint never comes.Haha, well done.
