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  3. Do you know of a dating app which caters primarily to heterosexuals, respects your privacy, doesn't use analytics and doesn't require G00g13 services to function properly?

Do you know of a dating app which caters primarily to heterosexuals, respects your privacy, doesn't use analytics and doesn't require G00g13 services to function properly?

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  • roofuskit@lemmy.worldR [email protected]

    Find a hobby that allows you to interact with other people. Both walking and reading a book in a cafe are solitary activities unless you make them otherwise.

    You can join a walking club, though I think you will find those are typically for people who are older. You can also join a book club.

    Once you are naturally getting out of the house and meeting new people with common interests, you will find it easier to meet potential partners who share your interests. But do not go into these situations hunting for a date. Get comfortable with the groups, get a feel for the vibe. Get to know the people, contribute to the group and let them get to know you. Then you can consider whether it's the right time, place, person to approach for a meeting outside the club.

    This is a longer term strategy, but I think you will find your results are higher quality.

    Apps and meeting people at bars are like closing your eyes and throwing a dart at a board. Clubs and groups that revolve around your interest give you pretense to get to know people and for them to get to know you, resulting in higher quality dates.

    M This user is from outside of this forum
    M This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #16

    Hell of an answer, thanks.

    B roofuskit@lemmy.worldR T 3 Replies Last reply
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    • M [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #17

      The whole concept of an app immediately signals privacy invasion. That's what apps do.

      I've met some cool people through craigslist personals (back when they had those). Reddit still has them fwiw.

      S 1 Reply Last reply
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      • M [email protected]
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        occultist8128@infosec.pubO This user is from outside of this forum
        occultist8128@infosec.pubO This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #18

        This post doesn't have anything related to AI but why it still got many downvotes?

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        • S [email protected]

          The whole concept of an app immediately signals privacy invasion. That's what apps do.

          I've met some cool people through craigslist personals (back when they had those). Reddit still has them fwiw.

          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #19

          This is a great point... Don't use apps!

          Use the website!

          If you really care about privacy... Join a community and harden your set up!

          Deny the parasite that data 🐸

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          • V [email protected]

            Caters to heterosexuality? - literally all of them but grindr
            Respects your privacy/ doesn’t use analytics/ google services - are there any apps left that don’t rely on these?

            I’m a trans woman so I’m sure we have very different needs as far as dating goes but ime they’re all variations on the same damn thing. Endless swipe fests

            D This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #20

            Yep, bots bots bots.

            V 1 Reply Last reply
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            • occultist8128@infosec.pubO [email protected]

              This post doesn't have anything related to AI but why it still got many downvotes?

              M This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #21

              Apparently, too many people got offended by me using the word 'heterosexual' (take a peep at a particular exchange below, it's a joy to read). The reason I was specific is that there are apps which specifically cater to non-heterosexuals, something I made clear in a comment that was also heavily downvoted.

              J 1 Reply Last reply
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              • D [email protected]

                Yep, bots bots bots.

                V This user is from outside of this forum
                V This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #22

                Honestly, bots suck but I can ignore the. Having to ā€˜prove’ I’m human by scanning my face literally Every. Fucking . Time. I even think about opening tinder is almost worse than just dealing with bots.

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                • M [email protected]

                  Hell of an answer, thanks.

                  B This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #23

                  Biggest pro tip: if you have an interest that you want to engage in with other people, and there isn't a club in your area for it (or the existing clubs suck), start your own club.

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                  • M [email protected]

                    Actually, double thanks. First because I was indeed considering eharmony before I saw its ranking in that page, second because I didn't know anything at all about the 'Privacy not included' series, which apparently covers many other topics such as ShitGPT. I owe you one šŸ˜‰

                    B This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #24

                    Honestly, you just have to accept that your privacy is going to be compromised while using the apps. Everyone tends to gravitate towards just a few apps in any given geographic location. None of those people care about privacy. By not using these apps, you are going to significantly be hamstringing yourself. Like, a lot.

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                    • M [email protected]
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #25

                      I don't know of any dating app that respects your privacy, period; that runs counter to what dating apps are about.

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                      • M [email protected]

                        Hell of an answer, thanks.

                        roofuskit@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
                        roofuskit@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #26

                        Also, don't be discouraged if you show up to these groups and there's nobody you'd be interested in. Think of this as an investment in your social and mental health. Maybe one of the people in the group becomes a friend and introduces you to someone. Maybe someone joins the group later.

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                        • M [email protected]

                          Apparently, too many people got offended by me using the word 'heterosexual' (take a peep at a particular exchange below, it's a joy to read). The reason I was specific is that there are apps which specifically cater to non-heterosexuals, something I made clear in a comment that was also heavily downvoted.

                          J This user is from outside of this forum
                          J This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #27

                          I suspect that it seems like an odd thing to feel the need to specify. Most of the world caters to heterosexuals. The existence of some dating apps that target LGBTQ subgroups is unlikely to have thrown off any recommendations you would have gotten. ā€œYou want privacy and to avoid google? You need Grindr or HERā€

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                            wrote last edited by
                            #28

                            You can't say Google like that or the Google will just read it and list it on Google.

                            Next time try using periods between letters to trick the Google. Like this

                            G.o.o.g.l.e.

                            The Google can't see it when you type it like that.

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                            • M [email protected]

                              Hell of an answer, thanks.

                              T This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #29

                              It's worth adding another spin to this.

                              Think of it as "product placement" where you are the product. The kind of person you want to meet... where are they spending their time? Wherever that is, you should be there, so they can find you.

                              Think someone is really attractive when they're doing public speaking? Go to Toastmasters. Really love someone who is competitive but good-natured? Check out a board game group. Want a fit person? Hit the gym.

                              The key thing, again similar to the other commenter, is to say hi to everyone. It's tough, especially if social activity drains you, but you can make a pattern and habits out of it. Get to know a bunch of people. Make good impressions. When it eventually gets out that you're single, someone will be like, "so I know this person..."

                              In any case, you're awesome. Good luck finding your awesome other half

                              Edit: also along the lines of product placement, make sure you're an appealing product: good hygiene, good enough style/fashion, proper social behaviors, etc. Not saying I'm perceiving you having problems with this, but I've seen many people complain about not finding someone when they look, smell, and behave like they've been living in a sewer the past decade.

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                              • M [email protected]

                                Walking (just for fun without the need to get somewhere specific), and to a lesser extent hanging around at modern (read: well-visited) cafes while reading a book. I actually go out quite a lot for someone who has 2 jobs, which makes the quest all the more frustrating.

                                M This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #30

                                Support groups work really well. Citation: Fight Club.

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                                • M [email protected]
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #31

                                  Don't date.

                                  M 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • M [email protected]

                                    Believe me, I'm trying. So. F*****g. Hard.

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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #32

                                    Focus on making a good friend group (I know almost as hard as dating). You'll meet friends of friends, which is where all the good dating prospects be in my experience. Friends first, the rest will come.

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                                    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC [email protected]

                                      Don't date.

                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #33

                                      Maybe I'm just a lonely pessimist, but I imagine the Venn Diagram of 'I'm ready to date' and 'I'm super privacy focused' is just OOP.

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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #34

                                        You're not going to find an app that doesn't use analytics. It's unreasonable to expect someone to build / run a service for users with no idea how it's actually functioning for them. To any app using Google Analytics, you are only one of hundreds of thousands of anonymous data points; get over yourself or buy a burner phone if you're that concerned about some upstream data broker knowing that ::gasp, shudder, horror:: you were on a dating app and ::shriek, cower, cry:: maybe targeting a romance-related ad to you.

                                        If you can get past that, I'd suggest https://datefirefly.com/ - it's independent and trying to rebuild the old OkCupid kind of experience before Match Group bought OkC and drove it into the ground.

                                        Or if you're in / near a city, try speed dating groups or see if there are matchmaking services with a good reputation.

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