When I Realize I'm A Grownup
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Tell that to your arteries at 35.
They say bring on the crestor lined bacon
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Shortly after moving out on my own I realized I could just buy broccoli and steam it and eat it whenever I want. Keep in mind I LOOOOOVED steamed broccoli; especially with lemon juice and butter.
I have binged on candy and felt awful afterwards but never in my life have I felt as miserable as I did the night after I ate a whole head of broccoli. The trapped gas in my abdomen literally made me wish I was dead.
…and my dumb ass had to do this twice before before I made the connection…
Dude, you know what's worse than trapped gas from broccoli? Trapped broccoli. Be careful.
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I think there's actually five, haha
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I was in college and loved Arby's beef and Cheddars. Ordered 5 at the drive through, ate them all within 20 minutes. Oof. I still remember how heavy they were.
What weighs more, 5 Arby's beef and cheddar or 5 pounds of Tungsten? The 5 Arby's beef and cheddar, because you also gotta carry the weight of what you did to those Arby's workers
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I never even thought that i would call someone this, but you have forced me to. YOU BARBARIC!
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Tell that to your arteries at 35.
40 and still doing great!
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There's no right way to eat a kit kat. Fuck nestle.
My friends sure seem to think there is.
