What shitty stuff did you discovered when you became adult?
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While that can certainly be true, I would say I've gained more empathy as I got older. I was never hateful, but I probably was more dismissive entering adulthood. I didn't understand what I had when I was younger and thought everyone should be able to do what I did and just didn't for some reason I didn't understand. Over time I realized how wrong I was. I saw what advantages I had that led me to where I was, and how many MANY people didn't have those same things, and that expecting them to have equal success was unrealistic and shameful on my part.
It is so easy for life to knock a human off course or keep them off course. An injury, addiction, an abusive family member, poverty, chronic illness, genetic disorder, political instability, bigotry, victim of crime, economic recession, or a natural disaster. Any one of these things and more can do it. I had little to no concept of these when I was younger. Growing up, meeting people, learning about the world, learning history made me much more open to others suffering and the desire to use what I have been lucky enough to have to help others, and recognize we, as a society, must help others. Its the only way we'll all survive. Divided we fall.
I can say the same for myself, I just don't see it as often as I had hoped in others.
I reflect on my past self and wish I had been a better person in my teens/early 20s. I can't change who I was or how I behaved or thought back then but I can change the person I am now and who I aspire to be. I am also trying to foster that attitude and the skills to be empathetic in my kids.
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Success in life is 75% luck. Everything you control (dedication, tenacity, ambition, follow through, dependability) is in the first 25%. The remaining 75% is just luck that you have no control over. That doesn't mean you can slack on that first 25%, but even if you absolutely kill it on the first 25% you can still fail in life. I say this as someone that most would consider successful. Yes I worked hard to get where I am, but lots of people work far harder and have far less. I was born in the right place, with the right talents, in the right period in time/history, and with enough of the preferred genetics. Even had everything else been equal and I was born 20 years earlier or 20 years later, I wouldn't be nearly as successful.
It shouldn't be like this. Its not fair its like this, but this is reality.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]WDYM? I can be a railroad mogul one day, or an oil baron, an automotive entrepreneur, a sugar plantation owner, or even a privateer, if I hustle hard enough, right?
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Success in life is 75% luck. Everything you control (dedication, tenacity, ambition, follow through, dependability) is in the first 25%. The remaining 75% is just luck that you have no control over. That doesn't mean you can slack on that first 25%, but even if you absolutely kill it on the first 25% you can still fail in life. I say this as someone that most would consider successful. Yes I worked hard to get where I am, but lots of people work far harder and have far less. I was born in the right place, with the right talents, in the right period in time/history, and with enough of the preferred genetics. Even had everything else been equal and I was born 20 years earlier or 20 years later, I wouldn't be nearly as successful.
It shouldn't be like this. Its not fair its like this, but this is reality.
You need to define succes first. Depending on your definition I will either agree or disagree.
definitions are personal. If you are looking for advice find a definiton that is less about luck.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Many adults have a much self-reflection and critical thinking skills as a 3-year-old.
Also, you can be highly intelligent yet very dumb.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
If you'll forgive the cliche "Adulthood is realizing that Cheese is expensive and SO many people are on cocaine".
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As a young adult I found out adults have no idea, as an older adult I found out it's not about knowing what to do in advance but being able to figure it out.
But it’s truly worrying how many people are just phoning it in most of the time.
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If you'll forgive the cliche "Adulthood is realizing that Cheese is expensive and SO many people are on cocaine".
Cheese is horribly expensive, and THEY ARE???? God I'm oblivious then.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
All the adults in my life with the exception of a very few are exactly as stupid or far stupider than I thought when I was a kid.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
How many mundane things you have to do just to stay alive and well. Skipping things means more problems down the road. Every few years your energy capacity just lowers by 50% and you will never get it back. People often don't follow their own advice. Most people will never change because they won't want to challenge their own beliefs about themselves. Most people have rigid beliefs about the world because of the same reason.
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Shower sex.
In the movies it looks so hot, but in reality, you've got a eyes and mouth full of soap and your freezing. 2/10
Depends on the shower set up.
One place I lived at had accessibility handles in the shower and a grippy floor, the shower head positioning and spray options kept both of us covered, and one of those heat lights that kept us both warm for the small bits that weren't in the spray. Most other places have had issues with one person not getting enough heat to stay warm, although a special shout out to the one hotel we stayed at with multiple showerheads.
I haven't run into the lubrication issue in showers or hot tubs, but also don't use condoms (monogamous relationships with other forms of birth control). Hot tubs were not public and we were very good about the water maintenance.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
People are mostly dumb. Justice is largely a myth. Chaos reigns.
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You need to define succes first. Depending on your definition I will either agree or disagree.
definitions are personal. If you are looking for advice find a definiton that is less about luck.
You need to define succes first. Depending on your definition I will either agree or disagree.
I using the conventional western definition here for this conversation. All of my basic needs are met, I have no worry for my future needs for probably the rest of my life if I need it to be. I am in good health. I have loving relationship. In addition to this I have extra resources that allow me to explore my interests.
definitions are personal. If you are looking for advice find a definition that is less about luck.
No amount of redefinition will help you if you have a genetic condition like Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy which can cause you to keel over dead at 27 years old. No amount of redefinition will help if you're 8 years old in and are living in an active war zone. In those two examples, they didn't choose their circumstances. Nothing in their power caused them to be in their situations. Nothing in their power could change their situations. I would be equally powerless in their place. There is nothing intrinsic about them that makes them responsible for their situations. Why is it that those two people have those life threatening issues and I don't? Luck. Thats life.
Now, I get where you're going about taking what circumstances you have, and making the best of it. Or possibly exploring the philosophical nature of existence and coming to a different conclusion on what our few decades on Earth are for and how we can all ourselves successful. I don't think that's a bad thing to do personally, but understand that's a luxury that someone starving or dying from exposure likely can't seriously entertain. Entirely ignoring the base reality, even if we don't like it, is dangerous, and potentially callous and can lead us to indifference of the suffering of others and how they arrived there through no fault of their own.
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People are mostly dumb. Justice is largely a myth. Chaos reigns.
It's kind of amazing that we get people to collaborate as well as they do. The downside is that we need to appeal to the lowest common denominator of self-interest.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
Nobody gives a single shit about you.
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Nobody gives a single shit about you.
U havin a bad day or somethin?
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
Nobody cares. You're homeless? Nobody cares. You just got dumped? Nobody cares. You're sick? Nobody cares. You're struggling? Nobody cares.
Sure you might have some friends who care in a very superficial way, but when the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
There's just no hope, and you're on your own.
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Lack of empathy is not something people grow out of, it seems like it is something that grows more severe the older people get.
I'm more empathetic now than I was 40 years ago.
People don't become less empathetic as they get older. They were assholes already.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
How easy and fast it is to cook good food. My mom acted like making real mashed potatoes was sooo difficult.
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For me, driving. Its not that driving is difficult or i'm just not able to drive. Its that there are just too many awful drivers and pedestrians you have to care about on the road.
Most Americans can't read past an 8th-grade level, and that shocks hell out of me. When I was in 6th-grade, standardized tests pegged me at "college level", which I figured was utter bullshit, thought I was being buttered-up somehow. Turns out it was true.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literacy_in_the_United_States
In 2023, 28% of adults scored at or below Level 1, 29% at Level 2, and 44% at Level 3 or above.[1] Adults scoring in the lowest levels of literacy increased 9 percentage points between 2017 and 2023. In 2017, 19% of U.S. adults achieved a Level 1 or below in literacy while 48% achieved the highest levels.[2]
Anything below Level 3 is considered "partially illiterate" (see also § Definitions below).[3] Adults scoring below Level 1 can comprehend simple sentences and short paragraphs with minimal structure but will struggle with multi-step instructions or complex sentences, while those at Level 1 can locate explicitly cued information in short texts, lists, or simple digital pages with minimal distractions but will struggle with multi-page texts and complex prose.[4] In general, both groups struggle reading complex sentences, texts requiring multiple-step processing, and texts with distractions.[4]
This explains so much about all the stupid shit I see. Most Americans literally aren't literate enough to follow a piece of literature, would struggle with any given novel.
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Nobody cares. You're homeless? Nobody cares. You just got dumped? Nobody cares. You're sick? Nobody cares. You're struggling? Nobody cares.
Sure you might have some friends who care in a very superficial way, but when the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
There's just no hope, and you're on your own.
Ain't that the truth!
